Are Investment Bankers expected to have attractive spouses?

I was catching up with a buddy and he mentioned that a banker having an attractive / pretty girlfriend isn't that impressive and is somewhat expected given the job's status and pay. In my network of banker friends, many of the men dated around with smokeshows, but generally settled down with the more standard attractive women (7). In a city like NYC, I imagine many bankers are casually dating way above their league looks wise, but ultimately settle closer to their league. 

12 Comments
 
faangbro

Women are more than just their looks

How many objectively ugly women have you actively pursued and been proud to show off?

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

I guess everyone on this app wants a sex toy they can flex to the boys. I’ll see myself out

 

How the hell do bankers even find the time to date around? Pretty exhausting and time intensive…especially in a competitive city like nyc. With that said, no one cares about how hot your wife/GF is. Maybe it’s a quick mention in a conversation like wow he has a hot wife/GF but that’s it. Ultimately you’re looking for a life long partner that you can grow with…who cares what other people think. I’d be curious to see how many divorces occurred for people in high intensity jobs who married a superficial smokeshow only to find out that they are not that compatable. Honestly, and this is just from my own anecdotal experience, most IB senior individuals I know don’t have hot wives/GFs…don’t know anyone dating models either. 

 

1. I'm pretty sure most of these "IB will get me a hot girl/up my dating life" type of posts are just cope from nerdy dudes who delayed gratification for a paycheck while most people lived balanced lives. No hate because I was said nerdy dude and still not as successful financially as most people in high finance, but I really don't think money means as much as it used to for elevating a guy's status (happy to hear counter arguments). Most of the really hot girls I've seen go for guys that are handsome/fit and have some combo of charisma/good personality. The most financially successful dudes I know are pretty out of shape, have bland personalities/mediocre social circles, and their fancy buyside job mostly ensured they got someone who is at least passable in appearance. I'm not jealous of any of their girlfriends or wives tbh. 

2. A lot of really hot women aren't worth keeping around long-term. Not saying there aren't unicorns out there, but a lot of these really attractive girls that constantly post pictures of themselves on social media, etc. are highly narcissistic (aka not fun to be around) and are also social climbers that'll leave you or cheat as soon as she finds someone wealthier, higher status, and/or more attractive than you, depending on what her needs are.

Bottom line is stop worrying about society's expectations of you or thinking that such and such will lead to this or that. Life isn't a nested if statement or algorithm you can easily crack the logic behind. People are complex and things happen beyond your control no matter despite your best efforts to avoid certain outcomes.

 

“An ugly girlfriend means no confidence, OK? I'm just saying, we are trying to replace Giambi and this guy's girlfriend is a 6 at best.”

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Immediately thought of this scene when I saw the title haha

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

haha great minds think alike

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

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