Bathroom War Crimes
How is it possible that grown men who can build a 70-tab model with 1,000 scenarios still manage to turn a bathroom into a literal crime scene?
I’m serious. We work in one of the most obsessive, detail-oriented, supposedly high-functioning environments on earth, and yet the men’s bathroom on every floor looks like it was used by a pack of raccoons during a liquidity event.
I’m not even asking for luxury. I’m not asking for spa-level cleanliness. I’m asking for the absolute minimum:
• Flush the toilet.
• Aim like you’ve seen a bathroom before.
• Don’t leave paper towels all over the floor like you just walked out of a distressed asset.
• If you have explosive shits, at least have the decency to clean up after yourself.
The funniest part is the same guys who’ll spend 45 minutes tweaking an output tab to make the comps slide look prettier than the actual deal somehow develop selective blindness in the bathroom. Suddenly nobody knows how toilets work. Suddenly it’s chaos. Suddenly there’s no accountability.
This is Wall Street. We allegedly care about standards. We allegedly care about optics. We allegedly care about being “professional.” And then half the cubicles look like the SEC should be called in.
I’m not saying everyone has to be a saint. I’m saying if you can manage a live deal, you can manage a flush.
End of rant.
+ those who only rise their hands
+ either groups- then touch your keyboard and eat a wrap
Those IBS shits are the worst. It has a specific smell. Turns the entire bathroom into a putrid gas chamber. You’d think people with good health insurance would go see a doctor.
I don’t know what you call good health but with the junk I’ve seen eaten it sure as shit isn’t M&A bankers
Damn, I'd expect that as an adult in a shitty commercial gym bathroom, public bathroom, etc. but not the workplace. I've never been at an employer where people treat the bathroom that poorly.
Bro what the hell is this thread 😭😭
.
I guess this is kind of like the chicken or the egg argument but sometimes when the toilet seat is too gross to sit in on, I attempt a standing shit. It doesn’t always land where I wanted it to, so I guess I was part of these atrocities before I got access to the executive bathrooms that are always pristine and I can take a dump in peace.
One could argue gross bathrooms create shareholder value…
Eat. More. Fiber.
what fucking bank are you working at?? never heard or seen of this before
Sometimes it sprays when I shit depending on how my stomach is feeling I cant help it. I do a courtesy double flush when that happens
Bro
Somehow, the bathrooms I've seen at investment banks have been dirtier than factories with way more employees per bathroom lol
Reprehenderit nisi officiis cum reiciendis. Non quasi dicta et quibusdam eligendi dolorem iusto ut. Quo et velit voluptatem ullam sit sint eum dolorem. Est dolore est provident aut et. Assumenda fugit voluptas eum perferendis soluta nostrum. Reprehenderit dolores labore doloribus in. Velit deserunt vero exercitationem quam.
Sunt ut laborum et. Velit eos voluptatum eos error veniam tenetur voluptates.
Earum et velit ad labore. Ipsum corrupti nemo ipsa nihil sed. Vitae dignissimos deserunt placeat exercitationem impedit earum.
Facere quo ut labore impedit. Alias earum rerum expedita rerum porro voluptatem. Recusandae est aut quia maxime voluptas est dolorum. Hic unde sit quas sed.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...