Biometric Staffing?
Hey everyone,
Current staffer here - have been thinking about this recently and just wanted to gather some opinions / get some feedback.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve had an analyst push back on a staffing because they were “at capacity”. While I can understand that some analysts are stretched a bit thin, I don’t believe that all analysts can possibly not be able to take on more staffings.
A solution I’ve thought of is bringing biometrics into play to standardise everything and remove dishonesty:
Every analyst on the team has to wear a Whoop (paid for by the firm) which is able to monitor their stress levels and generate a standardised output/metric. They would have to wear it constantly, and submit a weekly report of how their stress levels have been tracking. It’s pretty easy to tell if they’ve tried to tamper with their metrics, so that would also be taken into account.
If we as staffers target a standardized stress level across each analyst, then we would be able to staff much more efficiently. For example, if one analyst is able to sustain a lower stress level with less sleep, then they would be able to take on more staffings. While I understand they would be sleeping less, we would staff them up until the point where there stress level meets the target threshold.
If we see someone’s stress getting too high, then we might ease up on the staffings a bit. If an analyst is pushing back on staffings but we can see that they are barely in the stress radar, then we would staff them regardless.
Just an idea, wanted to gather some thoughts before conveying the idea to seniors. Let me know what you think.
Seriously go f*ck yourself
You can fund the whoop hats out of the VP bonus pool
You should take urine samples daily as well to ensure they are all on the right combination of zyns and adderall to ensure they can work relentlessly 24/7
What happens when the MDs implement it for VPs and Ds and then find out the VP Staffer has the lowest stress level in the firm?
Very sophisticated troll, almost had me
I think this is a really really good idea. So many lazy analysts make staffers’ jobs super hard.
Look at the stress on this day. I felt like I was dying. Barely made it out of last Friday alive.
Damn. Were you working or exercising this day?
So last Wednesday night I was reading about Dana White’s 84hr fast and decided to give it a shot. My last meal was Wednesday dinner. I felt fine Thursday day, but was off Thursday night. I refused to eat anything that night and chugged water and felt so horrible. Then when I got up on Friday after little to no sleep and no food, I didn’t know if I was going to make it through the day and contemplated cancelling plans and work, but instead decided to trudge through it. I broke the fast slightly and had an apple for breakfast. I really needed rest and a full meal, but tried to get through the day without either. I only made it about 48hrs until I had a full meal. I finally got a good sleep Friday night. I’m not doing that again.
Part of the problem was I should have had electrolytes and bone broth. I had bone broth at my place, but thought water would be ok. I was wrong. I usually do intermittent fasting 6 days per week so thought I could swing an 84hr fast, but it just wrecked me. I don’t plan to do any extended fasts anymore.
This proposal runs into the “utility vampire” problem. Under pure utilitarianism where you sum up everyone’s happiness, an extreme outlier who is infinitely or nearly infinitely unhappy about something skews the whole calculus and tips the scales in their favor.
This would just turn people into even bigger drama queens than they already are, even if this is a joke proposal.
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