Crying at work
Analyst 1 here. Had a really tough day at work dealing with incompetent associates and menial tasks and starting crying out of frustration. Any tips if you’ve ever felt like this too? Am worried that I would lose people’s respect if they were to ever see me cry...
Don't worry, stick you can stick around for a year and jump ship. A lot of jobs will have you doing menial shit - your one of the lucky ones that get paid well to do it. Is it more menial shit than all your other analyst buddies?
The menial taks and associates aren't making you cry - its the way they make you feel. Why are the associates and menial tasks making you feel frustrate? Is it more menial shit than all your other analyst buddies?
Talk to us buddy.
WSO app is so awful it posted my reply under a different thread and won’t let me copy and paste it lol so here’s a screenshot
Yes you would lose face. If you are getting that frustrated go for a walk. Say you need some air and piss off outside for half an hour to clear your mind. If you are otherwise delivering your work people won't mind. If it is a particular person try to have a one on one chat with them about improving communication etc once you are in a better mental state. For menial work you can also listen to some music.
There's nothing wrong with crying / find some method of catharsis. A good cry can be really beneficial to your short and long-term mental health. Unfortunately, society is still pretty toxic about things like male emotion and it may be career limiting if people see it. I would second the above comment and say you should do it in a place where your coworkers can't see you.
No one said if this is a male or female.
I agree. Take a walk away from eyesight and handle yourself. I’ve cried out of pure rage and frustration at my previous job. They can all go to hell, seriously some of the worst people I’ve ever met. But I never let them see it get to me
completely second this - few weeks ago saw a an email on a wednesday that was basically looked like it was tearing my weekend apart (a weekend with rather big plans) - felt a little silly on the actual weekend itself when i did barely any work because my rockstar associate managed that workstream so well that we had it done by friday lol
You need to get a screaming pillow, which is exactly what you think it is. Just keep it at home and at the end of every day jam that fucker in your face and let it rip. Keep your head up bud. Some may disagree with me but I really do think it gets easier with time.
A good cry can't hurt. Just make sure no one sees you. Not that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, but it is no one else's business how you deal with stress and frustration.
its ok just make sure to change tampons after
It's posts like this that have me conflicted. You see it as a joke, but: https://www.businessinsider.com/why-wall-street-bankers-committ-suicide…;
Might want to keep that in mind when you inevitably hit your breaking point.
crying is healthy, go right ahead and do it, just don't let them see it.
another good thing to do is get a punching bag. I had some low points in 2020 (death, stress, other bullshit) and it's remarkable how much better you feel after unleashing hell on something without any downside
It happens
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-do-you-stop-being-butthurt-a…
Such a great thread lol
lots of good advice on that thread, OP
Wait until your next shower. A good shower-cry every now and then takes a huge weight off the shoulders.
if you ever catch yourself crying infront of your superiors, make sure to scream, lock eye-contact with your boss, unbuckle your belt, and drop a poop on the floor. It's called a desk pop. Every successful analyst that goes from IBD to MF PE has done it.
Report back once you've gotten revenge on your superiors
You should get an ESA
That's great that you have this amazing mechanism at your disposal to help you let out your frustration and discharge your negative emotions. Keep crying your frustration out. It's great! Others don't have access to this mechanism—they'd love to cry their frustration out, but for different reasons, they can't.
Crying is one way that your autonomic nervous systems uses to discharge the energy of stress after a fight or flight response. There are other ways like yawning, trembling, shaking hands, skin rashes, etc. All these are great because they help you to recover faster. When you try to suppress these mechanisms, you generate more stress and discomfort.
In high-status high-stress environments, people try to suppress these mechanisms because they don't want to appear "weak", "unprofessional" etc. For example, imagine a soldier who comes back into the "wire" after patrol. He lights a cigarette and sees that his hands are shaking. That's his nervous system trying to expend the stress hormones, the high energy that is still inside him after the patrol. It's natural—a necessary mechanism for a speedy recovery. It doesn't make him look cowardly to other soldiers.
So keep crying out your frustration especially these days when WFH. It's not a matter of losing respect—it's a matter of recovery and optimal performance. This is how I look at it.
PS: I was reading Winston Churchill's biography recently. Here's something I found in there:
lmaoooooooooooo
Training Day:
Everybody cries; it’s okay! If you can’t hold it at work, just do it in the restroom.
I’ve had a handful of people cry in front of me that I manage. Some for very legitimate reasons and others not so much.
IMO, it’s rude to throw your emotions on coworkers or your boss by crying and it creates distraction.
It’s not like you are fighting a war or a surgeon that just failed to revive a patient lol. There is zero legitimate reason to throw emotional baggage on those around you at work.
Funny that your WSO tag is ‘human’...
Even Alexander cried when Hephaestion died
The original bromance
That was Achilles and Patroclus
If you ever went down near the water behind GS, you’d often see middle aged men tearing up and staring out into the distance. Happens to the best of us. Stay strong bud
lol very bleak if true
This what I miss most about work in the office. Disappearing to the bathroom when you were either enraged, on the verge of breaking down, or completely apathetic/disinterested about work to just sit in the stall for 20-30 minutes and ponder the meaning of life. Man those were cathartic. Doesn't hit the same with WFH
I never had a rough 110hr week like bankers or was ever pushed far enough to cry. But when I worked at my uncle's restaurant, I would go to the bathroom and just sit there and think about shit (excuse the pun), it was nice after dealing with Karens and standing in one spot for hours upon hours.
If you cry in public because you're stressed and can't handle the job then yeah... people will lose respect for you.
The real answer is that you need to disassociate yourself a bit when you feel overwhelmed emotionally. I've come really close when I've had long stretches of sleep deprivation in tandem with something that just sets me off, but you need to learn to deal with it by
a) stepping away, go to the bathroom or take a walk
b) realize that it's not that serious, you live in a first world country and none of this is life or death, you could deadass take a shit on your asshole vps desk tomorrow and quit and life would go on.
Don't worry so much about how people see you, most people are too busy worrying about themselves and if I ever saw a co-worker cry I'd probably feel bad more than anything. Best of luck man
Hey man, if it makes u feel any better, I used to cry a lot too because my boss used to treat me like shit. Since then, it’s gotten better (through a combination of better individual and fund performance), and I don’t cry as much anymore. Things will get better!
Some people will think you’re a pussy, but honestly just own and put out quality work and nobody will remember. That’s what I did and that was my result. You’ll be alright
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