As the post Thanksgiving depression starts to settle in, let's hear the douchiest, funniest, most outrageous stories you've heard of or personally witnessed. Anything from hearing your MD talk about his brand new Rolex Daytona, to sweaty summer analyst wearing the Gordon Gekko shirt in the office. Someone make me laugh.
| +48 | Can you date a girl at a more prestigious bank than you? | 17 | 21h | |
| +40 | NYC RAGER Meetup Friday Sept 27 | 4 | 16h | |
| +36 | If you're worried about the future read this. | 11 | 1h | |
| +32 | Recommendations for literature, readings, or media | 20 | 20h | |
| +29 | How happy are you 1-10? | 21 | 20h | |
| +23 | How do you fart in IB? | 9 | 3d | |
| +21 | Is 2 week vacation acceptable? | 9 | 4d | |
| +20 | Email Inbox Organization | 11 | 3s | |
| +18 | MD made a joke | 11 | 23h | |
| +17 | Women can’t get enough of me | 9 | 1d |
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I am financeabc, I am the most woke in the office....
LOL I thought you are 26?
ppl complaining about their wives and kids fleeing to the hamptons or nantucket while they have to work as if they have a gun to their head and don’t have free will
My name is Ozymandia, Derrick over there voted for Trump and hurt my feelings
Some originality would help, regardless, +1SB
Someone wanna explain this one? (Forgive me)
Their profiles are the most obnoxiously liberal on this site, some might even think they are satire! For instance, they probably would tell you that we have more important things to worry about than the massacres in Sri Lanka!
Among Ozymandias ridiculous takes was that COVID-19 did not spread at all during BLM protests. He seems to think the virus is as woke as he is
.
A partner once told me that if they stopped paying him it would be a long time before he noticed. It was in the context of bills being automated, but I was like damn, must be nice
Yeah but that makes sense right, would hope that at some point in your career your cash outflows would not impact your liquid net worth for a while even if your cash inflows stopped, right? Should be the goal!
Boss loves to show off his cars. Granted they are nice cars, but he REALLY loves to show them. His DB11 is super cool and so is his Ferrari 458. He gave me a ride in his wraith once, he’s not a bad guy, but is def a douche.
I’m his defense, he might be a car guy. I’ve met some people that could not shut the fuck up about their Sylvia, which at the heart of it is just a Nissan from the 90’s. Completely ignore this if he knows fuck all about his vehicles though lol.
He is a car guy. He does it to show off though, not hard to tell. You know those 24 year olds on insta showing off their lambo? he’s kinda like that, but 48 years old.
My name is CRE and I sued a bakery for refusing to bake a cake for my wedding
Clarification: second wedding of his wife, with her boyfriend.
God you are a dork
"she's fuckable, but not wife material" former manager of mine discussing someone who was supposed to mentor me
"I don't see a future for you in this business" woman who took 15 years to make half of what I got to in 5
"alright, if anyone calls, tell them I'm in a meeting" guy talking to his assistant at 330pm en route to the titty bar before he has to pick his kids up at 5pm (this was not a one time thing)
"hey man, where's that hot fucking assistant of yours?" SVP talking to other SVP (said assistant was right behind him)
saw a guy put handwritten notes on people's cars after they parked in his poorly marked reserved spot (there's always plenty of parking, so that's not ever an issue), the note said "you may or may not have seen the reserved sign, but just in case you didn't know, this spot is NOT reserved for YOU." this guy has personally donated millions to charity but is a douche with his parking spot
I haven't heard as much since I'm not in the bullpen anymore, but sometimes I crack my door just to reminisce
Unreal.
"I haven't checked my bank account in 15 years" - MD
I did not realize that people from West Virginia have access to the internet. Seriously, don't you people have better things to do with your time.
I live in the city, and I can assure you, it's not just people in the South who think you have a mental deficit
I have a mental deficit and yet you are the person who thinks West Virginia is in the mid-west... I think you need to invest in a map. I will be the first to admit my knowledge of geography is terrible but even I know West Virginia is in the South.
LMFAO way to get a potentially interesting thread de-bumped, fuckheads.
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