Estranged parent gives you an offer?
Let's say you had a very poor relationship with a parent and have been disconnected for years, but out of the blue they unconditionally offer (and have the ability) to advance your career tenfold with something along the lines of nepotism.
Would you take them up on the opportunity or not?
In a predicament myself and not comfortable going into much more detail.
Bump to stay anonymous
Funny, I am in a similar position in that I am completely estranged to one of my parents. The only difference is, their career is long over, they have no important friends anymore and even if they wanted, they couldn´t offer me anything substantial. When I was 16 and needed an internship, yes, I could have used a hand, but now? Now I am the future, and they are the past.
TLDR, OP: Fuck them and their shitty little offer. You can´t buy love, or erase pain with money, or bridge the yawning gaps of time with your network. Say "fuck you" and be done with it.
This hit home more than I'd like to admit. The money would literally 3-4x my salary. The gap of time in my network would definitely be a red flag (5+ years). I don't harbor hate/pain more indifference/pity.
A volatile personality and an unhealthy addiction/dependency drove the split. I wanted to say "fuck you" back in the day, but I feel pity towards this person as the personality issues were driven by the addiction. They are a casualty of the hedonic treadmill or rat race. It's hard to hate someone you understand.
I'll leave you with this...
The stories you hear about megafunds like Apollo and banks like FT partners hit very close to home for me; these cultures breed much darker problems that lurk below the surface in the finance world.
I don´t give a fuck about culture or ambition, I know exactly why they became how they were, their shitty childhood, the toxic culture of their fantastic firm with the tiring travels and the booze and so on, all the little boo-hoo stories. I don´t care. I only ever wanted them to be there for me and they weren´t, so fuck them.
Maybe I’m just a POS, but I would take the offer. Your accepting doesn’t nullify any wrongs they created in the past. Think about yourself here. I am not able to relate to your situation so I hope this doesn’t come across as insensitive. I understand it must be a difficult spot to sit in.
Appreciate the comment. Definitely not an ideal spot to be in. Depending on your POV, it's either the greatest opportunity or the worst nightmare scenario.
Good luck man. It’s obvious through your comments that you have the emotional intelligence to approach this logically, so I’m sure you’re gonna land in a great spot regardless of what you choose.
Do you need to work for them? How would this be different from a random person on linkedin you networked with to give you an offer. You think all those people are great dudes? No you take the resume/job interview and move on...keep it professional/arms length.
I would not work for them. Not sure how it would be professional/arms length.
Am I qualified for the position? Yes.
Would I get the position if I wasn't in this situation? Absolutely not.
You said it, you are qualified. Seems they are just getting you an interview rest will be on you man don't let this person control your future like they have your past somewhat. Think about you go crush it at this job do better you could then help the world philanthropic wise or whatever your passions are.
Yes, it's nepotism. Yes, nepotism sucks (albeit just a specific subset of networking, and people get jobs through connections all the time, so it's not the end of the world), but the question you should be asking yourself is: if you are estranged from them, why would they want to offer you a job? It would be pretty stupid for them to hire someone who isn't up to the task just because they are family, and I don't think that's the case. I think it's more likely that, despite your relationship, they trust you to be able to do the job, and that's important especially because it's a high paying one (at least higher paying than your current income).
I would take it and treat it like a simple business transaction (because it's essentially that after all) - if you end up not liking to work with them, just leave like you would do with any other job, and leverage that experience for the next. Make sure to live well below your means and save/invest that extra disposable income too.
Yes nepotism sucks (until you can benefit from it). The idealist in me says don't take it, but the realist in me says take it.
I definitely look like a massive hypocrite because I denied the help of said person for years as they made similar gestures, yet none compare to this.
And now, they metaphorically "made an offer i can't refuse".
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