Girlfriends going to Nashville

Sounds sus. Dig deep for that inner strength brother! 

Text her and say "have a good trip to TN" and then don't text her again until she contacts you. 

Why don’t you talk to her about your relationship concerns like an adult instead of worrying about a trip with her friends? 
 

There is no point I  worrying about a theoretical (you “could be” cheated on) when you have an actual problem (your broken relationship) to address. 

If your intimate twice a month and have been dating for four years I'd say its pretty much dying down. If she is constantly avoiding you and does not want to work on issues then I think it may be time to get a gym membership. Text her before she goes out/on the trip and she if she is initiating conversation while she is there thats a good sign. If she barely responds and is vague then your done. 

Look at the bright side at least she isn’t going to Ft. Lauderdale!

Hey man it sounds like she's distancing herself from the relationship -- I know you're bothered by this (as anyone would be after 4yrs together), but trying to pull her back will just elicit contempt and disgust...

I'm sorry this is happening to you but I think you, I, and most folks in your life that you trust and tell this to would recommend you end things now cleanly. This isn't even about the trip specifically, more about everything else you wrote

Doesn't even sound like she's your GF anymore 

I mean if she moved out already the hardest part of a breakup is dealt with. Take Isiah's advice and text her. Have a good trip. Don't talk to her unless she initiates and before or after the trip she will realize herself if she wants to be with you or not. She'll make the decision. Don't stress about it, it sucks in the short run but sounds like it's already over. It causes more stress and insecurities always wondering. 

The relationship is already over, quit dragging it out 

There’s a very thin line between trust and tryst. do you have a solid support system where you are.. friends, or maybe you play beer league hockey on weekends, LoL, gym? or anything other than this lady? If so, lean into those things and learn to be ok by yourself..asking what would need to change for you to not care, or conversely, have complete trust and accept that you’d be better off if things don’t work out.

The only thing you can control here is your own behavior, and it sounds like she’s not questioning yours. A girls trip to Nashville shouldn’t be a cause for concern, nor should a boys trip to Miami…which it sounds like you could use. I’d cutback on the communication and think long and hard about what would make you happy if this person wasn’t in the picture, and what you’d like to expend that energy on.. as it sounds like the opportunity cost here is not worth it and that you can do better.

In general, the harder you squeeze tight onto a person and make them feel limited, the more you will push them away.  
 

The best way to counter this is for you to focus on your own growth as a person (hobbies, professional, etc), and find a life partner who will do the same within the relationship.  

Tbh time to cut the cord as hard as it may be

"Think all of them have boyfriends which is assuring, but all of them hate me."

Red flag. Her friends shouldnt hate you if you're a great boyfriend. GF is more willing to listen to her friends who have her best interest.

"We’ve been together for ~4 years but a year ago we broke up for a month and she moved out. It’s been rocky ever since, with her just not really being there. Never wants to hangout. We’re intimate maybe 2x a month."

Yea... its over. Relationships dont just die out and recover to what it was before.

"I went big on her birthday recently"

HAHAHA despite the warning signs?!?!? NOOOOOOO BRO!!! 

"I trust her but also had an ex who cheated for over a year and kept sealed lips. Any advice?"

Buddy, get the respect you deserve and break up from that hoe. Once a cheater always a cheater.

.

shes for the streets

you're in top 1% by income - get yourself a girl that'll do what you say. you're in a position of power. I understand if you were a minimum wage worker, then maybe you'd not have many options and had to settle for somebody not ideal. but you're at the very top in the most important characteristic for a man, so you should be getting what you want easily.

imagine getting action twice a month

First you should tell her about your concerns
But honestly I feel like your relationship is over…

Cooked

Look I speak for myself. I would want someone next to me that wants to hangout with me and spend time with me. If she doesn’t see your value then move on man. I know it’s hard to let go. I was in a similar boat and never let go until I realized it just got worse and worse now I’ve been happily single yea there are days where it sucks but for the most part I have peace of mind which is priceless. Eventually ex tried to come back and I told her no and it hurt but it’s all for the best. Best of luck on whatever decision you make.

1. There's a pattern of girls not respecting you.  Figure out why. If you have any female friends, tell them to be brutally honest and tell you your weaknesses from the standpoint of gaining attraction from women. Usually has more to do with confidence and self-respect than anything physical, but find out your problem and fix it.

2. Regardless of where #1 takes you, dump this girl either way.  It's not the girls trip, it's everything else.  It's not a successful relationship and you can't find a successful one while you're stuck in this one.

Dude she's either cheating or looking to cheat, she sounds checked out. Find someone to hit up while she's out of town and don't look back. You're better than this.

Pouring one out for you brother.

She ain’t your girl anymore…

you're on a PIP brotha... time to start looking

Hey man, can confirm I was just in Nashville and given how the girls act out there…what happens in Nashville stays in Nashville and caution goes to the wind, so don’t be surprised if things turn south/or you’re hit with “it doesn’t count when I’m on vacation.” Lot of girls have a core body count from relationships/long-term hookups and then ones they “discount” based on vacations like this. Girls take trips like this when they want to “let loose” or are frustrated and unfortunately commitment goes out the window.
 

Just some anecdotes from my experience, hope for your sake it doesn’t turn out poorly but just prepare yourself mentally for the worst outcome especially given how rocky things have been. 

It’s not the trip, but the trip is spurring insecurity in you because of larger issues that you should resolve. You don’t trust her. Need to have a real discussion about your concerns. Honestly it sounds a little imbalanced. Keep your powder dry and have the fortitude to cut her loose if you’re not getting what you need from the relationship. She’s literally just a person you met and became closer to. If you’re no longer very close no need to string it along. 

Everyone here is saying the same thing and I really hope it's getting through to you. Was in a similar position as yours, but we were both checked out of the relationship for a full year before I broke it off. I promise you, it gets so much better. Time and space heals all. You clearly do not trust her, as you're worried she may cheat on you in Nashville. I just recently got married, and I guarantee you that if my wife went on a girl's trip anywhere, I wouldn't give two shits. We developed a strong foundation of trust & communication from the jump. It's clear you guys haven't done that (if your tag is accurate and you're 22/23, this is totally okay. You're still young and having been in a long-term relationship like that since, what, 18/19? It makes total sense to be where you're at).

Take this time to start a new chapter in your life, seek discomfort, take care of yourself, and again, let time & space (and the gym, friends, xbox, etc.) heal you. Much love brother

Cut it

Have some self respect and leave her. She's inevitably going to smash someone else. Save yourself the heartache and rip the band-aid already. 

I know it sucks now but you just have to grind these few years out in IB (your situation), the hours are long and strenuous (worried she’ll fuck another guy all the time) but get the experience (you’ll be in the gym soon enough and work on yourself) and you’ll be able to exit to higher comp (trust fund baby) at KKR/BX/CG (Greenwich 9.5/10) soon.

lol but it all seriousness I get you’ve been dating for 4 years and it’s easier said than done to cut ties, but you should let her reach out to you/text you/want to be with you. If she wanted to she would, so I’d say cut ties and focus on yourself for a bit and reevaluate. Most people have been in some sort of situation similar and I feel for it. Best of luck my man.

I went big on her birthday recently and heading into the trip she just doesn’t want to hangout or anything. 

bruh

She’s not yours. It’s just your turn.

Great post

Shit sucks, but looks like it's over. Making this post hoping that someone will tell you otherwise isn't going to change the reality. It's time to move on brother.