Going to be alone on Thanksgiving

Was on the phone with my parents last night talking about holiday plans. They are still in Rhode Island while I'm out in San Francisco. I have a big family so Thanksgiving has always been a nice holiday to spend with them and catch up with my siblings who I rarely see. Last year while I was still at my previous job, I was too busy to go back home but at least I was able to spend Thanksgiving with my Uncle and grandparents who live in Miami.
This year for me to fly back to Rhode Island would be over a thousand dollars, even if I get the flight a week before. I really can't shell out a thousand dollars right now especially since I really want to fly back home for Christmas at least. My roommate who's from San Mateo is going on vacation with his family during Thanksgiving so spending it with them isn't an option either.
So, this year I will be spending Thanksgiving in my small apartment by myself. I don't feel bad for myself because it is what it is, but I don't know what I should do with myself besides watch football and maybe cook something nice. If anyone has experiences spending holidays alone, I'd be interested in hearing them.

Comments (71)

26d
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

double postΒ 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

26d
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

SFO - Providence is $1100 Wed - Sun, but only $541 Wed - Fri if you're interested.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 11
26d
jarstar1, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm seeing some Wed-Sun to Logan for $600. When I lived in LA I would often fly into Logan, silver line to South Station, MBTA down to Providence.Β 

Look, you live on the opposite side of the country, you don't get many opportunities to go home and see your family, take the opportunities when you can. Really. I decided to leave a great job on the west coast to be closer to family. The $600-$1,000 seems like a lot, but ultimately time with your loved ones is far more meaningful than whatever rounding error that will be in your life. Maybe see if your family can chip in a bit? Get a 0% APR introductory offer for a CC and pay it off over 12 months or whatever, etc. There are ways to make it work. You've flown the coop, your time with your parents is significantly limited now, especially since you live 3,000 miles away.Β 

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26d
Pierogi Equities, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This is a good idea, tap through your work or friends network. If they're good people, they'll understand.

Also, see if there are any singles holiday events or whatever hosted through your church/community center/gym/etc. This is more of a last resort thing, but it can be a good way to meet people as well in a similar situation, and strike up a new hobby as well.

Quant (ˈkwÀnt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

  • 2
26d
Yankee Doodle, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This is fairly common for our generation. I've slept through the past couple New Years. It's not that big of a deal.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

  • 4
25d
LeveredLegend, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Agreed that it isn't the biggest deal in the world, but New Years eve sucks and is not comparable to Thanksgiving in the slightest.Β 

25d
PaulTwodoorJones, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Second this. I've made the mistake very early on to forego some precious family events, and I still regret it to this day. The money I didn't spend means absolutely nothing

26d
IcedxTaro, what's your opinion? Comment below:

As someone who worked in palliative healthcare (hospitals ICUs/ER/Med Surg), consider that time is something we lose everyday.

I spent a fair bit of time working at different hospitals, experienced a death of a family member at a young age, and seen the depressing sadness of people who lost loved ones with regrets.

One of the regrets, is not spending time with them (or not enough).

It may hurt temporarily, but eat the fees to go see your family and be happy. You may never know when it'll be the next time, right?

26d
theAudiophile, what's your opinion? Comment below:

You mentioned Christmas. At least go ahead and book that flight so you'll have one holiday with family. But everyone else's suggestions are great too. See if there's someone or a group that'll break bread with you for the holiday. I've been on both ends of that and it meant the world to me.

  • 2
26d
WolfofWSO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This may be radical, but does a greyhound connection from a cheaper destination exist? I took a red eye greyhound back in the day when I needed to get from the east coast back to chitown and didn't have the ability to book a flight. It was interesting, I saw parts of the country I never thought I'd see. The uninterrupted travel time gave me a moment to think in solitude.

There are some unique individuals who ride greyhound or the like, but at no point did I feel in danger. Then again, I am used to the L at questionable stops in Chicago.

Array

  • 3
26d
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

WolfofWSO

This may be radical, but does a greyhound connection from a cheaper destination exist?Β 

SFO to Boston is $570 (Wed to Sun); there is probably a bus or train to RI.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 2
26d
thevillage, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Silver line to MBTA is super easy and $15 all in.

β€”
  • 1
26d
swagoff, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I skipped out on a big family re-union trip during my IB days due to a combination of cost / time-off and definitely regretted it as the years have passed given that was the last opportunity to see some people who lived overseas and are no longer here...Β  different situation but you can always make more money in life, can't necessarily make more time though, especially when it comes to loved ones.Β 

To the extent you don't end up making it, have yourself the perfect day if you can.Β  Maybe book yourself a spa day / big hike / really nice meal / whatever floats your boat.

26d
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Fast and Fiduciary

I appreciate everyone providing their imput and stressing how valuable family time is. In the grand scheme of life, I understand an expensive flight isn't the end of the world and there are a lot of travel options I can pursue. I will definitely try to make something work now

Hey man that is really good to hear. Enjoy it. Cheers -

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 2
Funniest
26d
Teller in Branch - Personal Loans, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Never been more pumped about a stranger going to see his own family… Actually made me question if I should slow down on being a slave driver

VP
  • 12
26d
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

dude honestly this made my day. I neglected hanging out with family in my 20s and now in my 30s I treasure all the times I have with family and friends. It really is the essence of life.Β 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 3
26d
MrBarelyComprehensible, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Delighted you changed your mind, my man! Like other people said, 1K is a rounding error on your career earnings and your time with your loved one is limited - enjoy it while you can.

26d
The EBITA addback, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I've been there- 3 options- enjoy the quiet time alone if you've been working a lot- find some friends/invite to someone else's celebration locally- hell I would invite you if I was close- or volunteer at an event to help the less fortunate and have new meaning to the holiday.Β 

Like the unadjusted- only with a little bit extra.
  • 1
26d
The Real Donnie Azoff, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I experienced the same situation several times when I was younger. Wasn't in banking yet or just starting, and I couldn't swing the costs. I would bum off of my friends and stay with their families, or if I knew anyone who was also alone we'd hang together.

But if you're flying solo, find a good bar, post up, get lunch, and watch football during the afternoon. Minimum of 4 beers. Shoot the shit with the other dudes who also have nothing to do, or who are avoiding their families. Then order a shit ton of Uber Eats - big cheat meal that you typically wouldn't go for. Don't cook. Grab a nice six pack on the way home and chill. Sleep in on Friday, absolutely don't work.

Thanksgiving is nice and all, but it's just a fancy dinner. Not the end of the world if you miss it, if you need to. Enjoy the solo time and decompress.

25d
money.monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This post is likely saved in the internet forever. And 20 years from now, you may dig it up and regret not spending that 1k. Go home, see your family.

Array

25d
TechBanking, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I used to have to work the day after Thanksgiving. I did dinner with a colleague each year. Was actually pretty fun.Β 

  • 1
25d
lord0fham, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Hey man, I keep seeing you posting about some variation of hating it in SF. Not sure if you're having trouble making friends or anything but feel free to PM me. I work in debt advisory/commercial finance down town. Would be cool to meet more people in the industry cause I came from an extreme non-target.

25d
lord0fham, what's your opinion? Comment below:

There's definitely a huge contrast between the bad and good parts of SF so it's good you made the move. I agree it's pretty hard to make friends as an adult, especially when working a lot, so as I said, feel free to hit me up! Already invited one of my friends to Thanksgiving at my parents' house in the East Bay.

24d
rem29, what's your opinion? Comment below:

there will come a day when you'd give anything to spend another moment with your family

20d
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:
rem29

there will come a day when you'd give anything to spend another moment with your family

So true.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

23d
Gucci Loafers, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I've spent the last Christmas and NY ave without my family mainly for the same reasons as yours (expensive flights to go back home and also work-related reasons).

I have no clue what you Americans do for thanksgiving, but probably start the day calling your family and wishing them well, going for a peaceful walk, having lunch at a nice place, and going to an event or meeting with someone in the evening could also be a way to spend the day.Β 

Most importantly, do not spend it on the couch, games, or playing with ya pussy doll. You're better than that.Β Just relax and take it easy.

21d
mergelord11, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Ive spent a christmas alone. Treat yourself to a nice day, reward yourself for your hard work, rest, and most of all - be grateful for what you have and have accomplished up until now. You'll have a fine time

13d
Arena8, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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5d
InfoDominatrix, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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