Goldie potentially low-key adopts 22-year-old

So my wife's sister is 22 and has developmental delay and autism and what the fuck ever else. Cognitively, she's basically like a really slow 3-year-old. She speaks in short sentences at best, is super repetitive, poor emotional control, doesn't seek out anything novel, that type of shit. Physically, she's a like 5'6'' maybe 180lb girl with zero body awareness. She can feed herself, shower, use the bathroom, turn on her tablet and watch shows (TV remote is tougher), etc. She walks super clumsily and doesn't seem to have any understanding of where her limbs are in space at any time. Like no proprioception anywhere but the hands and feet and face. Like, I tried to teach her to do a 35lb deadlift yesterday and she can't even grasp (lol pun) the concept of holding the bar equidistantly. Just grabs it and throws it toward the ceiling awkwardly no matter how many times you show her. I think that has more to do with her super physical activity-deprived upbringing by her clueless mother and hyper-cautious pussyboi 88-year-old dad.

My wife's dad is a cowardly, weak, snively little cunt. Not just 'cause he's old. He always was. No chin having bitchass has survived like 6 different forms of cancer and has been on drugs that pretty much wipe his body of testosterone for the last 20 years to keep his prostate cancer at bay. Dude has zero energy. I don't know how he's still alive. He looks dead. His first family doesn't talk to him anymore. He went to the Philippines to lure his second wife when he was in his 60s. Found this hot 20-year-old with a poor family and 90-day-fiance'd that ho.

Plot twist: She thought she was coming to the U.S. for the "good life like every other immigrant ho and would be able to provide for her family back home. What he didn't tell her is that she'd be the one earning the money to send back home! This second family was his retirement plan. He worked as a trader way back when and always talks about how well he did despite being a broke bitch. Worked as an ATF inspector too. Also was briefly in the Army and almost got kicked out for refusing to climb the pole during training b/c pussyboi. They let him stay though and made him an electrician. He now has some bullshit company printing labels super part time.

tl;dr: He has no fucking money, makes no fucking money, and has no clue how money works. He's a broke, weak, useless bitch who thinks super highly of himself substantiated on nothing. His only job is to watch my wife's sister and he's bad at it. He never really accepted that she's disabled. They got pregnant with her after he had prostate cancer and was told he was infertile. It might not even be his. The mom cheated constantly back then (and hopefully now too). So he yells at her and calls her names. And he does nothing developmental for her. She could have been a lot further along by now. A girl like her can hypothetically get to a place where she can have a low-paying job, maybe an apartment, a semblance of a normal life. She's actually worked part time at a nursing home already and loved it.

My wife's mom is a very nice, but utterly clueless woman. Not like she just doesn't know things. Bro, she's dumb. She can't figure out how to work an ATM. She likes to shop and use facebook. Really nice lady. Just not a lot seems to be going on behind those curtains. She's always worked 2 jobs to support the family. She was a pretty shitty mom. Getting into details will take a while, but she was negligent at best.

My wife ended up pretty much raising her younger brother and sister. She was changing their diapers at like 5 years old because her mom was out working or getting plowed and her dad was asleep in an armchair or getting mad about something.

My wife and I have a 7-month-old girl and we live alone in a 5-bed/3-bath house with 3 floors, so there's plenty of space. My wife works remote as a high school English teacher and I spend most of her work day kickin it with the kid and doing work shit from my phone when I gotta. When her day's over, I go do my shit and she watches the kid. My wife taught SpEd for 5 years, so she knows exactly all the shit her sister needs and doesn't need. Neither of her parents have ever bothered to look into it very deeply and won't listen to her on it.

I had a shower thought last week that why doesn't the sister come live here? I told her to invite her over for a few days to see how it goes. She's a super happy and polite girl. She punched her dad once because he made her mad enough and he went to the ER for his "hematoma" LOL. And that was one of my first stories of her, so I assumed she was like aggressive for a while. Spending time with her though, she's like 100% positive all the time. She won't sit somewhere you don't tell her to. Like super polite. But I don't know how much of that is because she's still intimidated by me because she hasn't gotten to know me. Like day 1, she was real quit, only speaks when spoken to, avoids eye contact, sat on the floor until I told her hey you can sit anywhere you want. By day 3, she was talking more than I would like her to and I had to reel in the positive feedback to get her to chill. If you turn on Dr. Pimple Popper for her, she'll sit quietly and watch it forever.

She doesn't really know what to do with herself, so she'll sort of just follow around whoever she's most comfortable with. I was with the baby and her for 3 days. By the 3rd morning, she'd just start following me into rooms and standing there pretending not to watch me but watching me. I have to keep reminding myself she's not normal and not to be like, 'yo why the fuck are you just standing there?' But if you tell her, 'Hey why don't you go watch some shows on your ipad in your room?', she'll go do it.

She went home now. We're gonna invite her back in a few days for another run. For me, people are stressful. Just their presence is enough to generate ongoing stress. I need a lot of time alone and a lot of space to myself. So the having a baby transition was tough. But it forced me to figure out new ways to cope and take time and space for myself and tighten up my systems and blah blah. So I'm back to baseline now and feeling op top of shit again. I feel like I could take on another challenge.

Oh, and she loves the fuck out of our baby. She won't shut up about it and how cute she is and yada yada. She spent a bunch of her own money buying her clothes and shit. I don't see any way she'd do anything purposefully harmful to her. She knows she's not allowed to hold her while standing - only in her lap while sitting. And in watching the baby, she's actually been an asset. The thing about the baby is she's super needy and just wants to know somebody is always nearby even if she doesn't need anything. So of course I'd never leave them together alone, but I was able to be doing other shit on the same floor while the kid played and the sister just hung out and watched her. She doesn't really understand how to play with her, but she always smiles at her and says nice stuff. The baby is kind of confused who this new person is lol. Oh, she'll also do easy chores like folding laundry happily. Oh and lastly, I've been getting crazy head. I think there's a strong correlation.

So yeah. IDK. Opinions? Just thought I'd share this mildly amusing story. Oh, speaking of mildly amusing - we must be a sight for sore eyes on our walks: Goldie is walking through the snow with a baby in a baby carrier looking like The Hangover dude and there's this fat girl with her head kind of turned to the side and a dumb grin on her face walking behind them flailing her arms. Like lol who are these people? Oh, speaking of fat girls - I forgot the whole point of this endeavor. Basically, my house is run mildly like a military school and this girl is super impressionable. So if we take her out of that environment of sedation, negative energy, and trash food and into my environment of positive energy, activity, and healthy food.. coupled with the SpEd shit my wife can do for her, I think we can get her to a pretty good spot. Oh, also, if we become her guardians, we get like 2 stacks of that government cheddar a month and I'll gladly take that from her dad.