Hooked Up With Scarlett Johannson

So last Friday, the guys and I got together for some pre-gaming before heading to 1OAK at around 11:00 PM to celebrate our better-than-expected bonuses this year (two of us are PE associates, and the other 2 are VPs at MM banks). So after waiting in line outside for a while, we finally make it inside over to the bar, and there she was. She had on a tight, black dress looking fine as hell; better than any photos I’d ever seen of her. I went up to her and fed her one of the typical pick-up lines, which led to talking about her previous relationship with Ryan Reynolds, and ultimately, what I do for a living.

Surprisingly, Scarlett knows quite a bit about the industry as her step-brother is an MBB consultant. After trying to explain to her I add social value in my high finnance role, she whispered something in my ear I won’t ever forget. “Is your fund short or long?” Now my first reaction was that the concept of Private Equity apparently didn’t quite click for her, but I played along anyway and told her we were value-based, but long-term and invested in a wide range of industries. The financial whiz giggled, and we went home, where my fund promptly transformed into a growth fund, and ultimately, an event-driven one.

26 Comments
 

This happened to me but then I shook my head and continued putting numbers into my exhaustive spreadsheet

1percentblog.com
 
camspin> Now my first reaction was that the concept of Private Equity apparently didn’t quite click for her, but I played along anyway

This is the greatest line I have ever read on WSO

Agreed :)

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

plagiarized

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

'...where my fund promptly transformed into a growth fund, and ultimately, an event-driven one' --> only PE guys would say ^^ instead of 'i got laid'. way to go!

 

That style of writing is way too distinctive to be anything but LSO.

Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 
AllDay_028
Whgm45She's not even that hot...
Ya dude, what a scrub. I can't believe another 5'7 jewish kid with aspergers and inflated self esteem because of middle class salary is bragging about banging some mediocre actress like Scarjo.

Scarjo is around an 8. Nothing more, nothing less. There are better looking women at any upscale NYC bar on the weekend. At a place like 1OAK or Greenhouse? Fuhgeddaboutit

 

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