How can I have a great social life without b-school?

Fellow monkeys, your advice and thoughts are needed.

So I'm currently in the process of applying to 5 top MBA programs. Aside from the obvious career reasons, I'm very excited about the life-changing social opportunities and experiences. I currently live in a city where I know virtually no one, my good friends all moved out, and my work is filled with older married people. So the the prospect of spending 2 years partying, traveling, and networking with smart like-minded and interesting people, just seems awesome.

Here's my question. If I don't get in, what steps can I do to improve my social life? Is it possible to duplicate the amount of fun you can have in b-school without going to one? It seems like unless you're extremely rich and work for yourself, b-school is the most fun any of us will ever have.

I think the problem for you isn't that you're not successful or have a lot of free time (you are and you do). The problem is that you seem depressed- and that can impact your social life.

As Dr. Phil would say, "Let me tell it to you straight. If life ain't working out for you now, what makes you think B-school will be any better?"

It's time to start getting to the bottom of this. Is it possible you've got a mild case of Dysthymia?

IlliniProgrammer:
Dude, it might be time to shell out a little for a therapist and/or St. John's Wort. I think the problem for you isn't that you're not cool or successful (you are). The problem is that you seem depressed and maybe very mildly insecure for some odd reason.

As Dr. Phil would say, "If life ain't working out for you now, what makes you think B-school will be any better?"

It's time to start getting to the bottom of this. Is it possible you've got a mild case of Dysthymia?

Illini, thanks for your honest response.

I had a lousy undergrad experience, and life after college hasn't been that fun for a number of reasons. If you're not from the midwest or did not go to a big 10 college, it's tough to find a good social network. So for me, business school is a chance to have the social experience I always craved but never had the chance to experience.

jjc1122:
If you're not from the midwest or did not go to a big 10 college, it's tough to find a good social network.

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Look, I'm guessing you didn't have a good social life for some fundamental reasons. Like, maybe you worked so hard in undergrad and at your job, that you just didn't have the time necessary to have a good social life (it's tough to have a really good social life when you work 70+ hours a week). Or, maybe you're just somewhat socially awkward, and have always had a hard time making/maintaining friendships (which could be compounded if you didn't get much practice in undergrad and the early stages of your life as a young professional). Look, regardless of what the cause is, you can improve your social life. Like everything else, it just takes time and effort.

You might want to check out Eddie's post about Back-Door Mark. Yes, you can definitely improve your social life without going to b-school, but it's not going to happen overnight (I'm guessing it'll take 1-2 years to build a solid social life). Assuming you don't work ridiculous hours, you just gotta devote more time to socializing. It really is that simple (in theory, not necessarily in practice).

Illini hit the nail on the head. Your commentary of your situation is blatantly external. The defining mark of satisfied people is an internal frame of reference. The difference being that external personalities look for satisfaction in the outside world and internal personalities find it within themselves.

An internal frame of reference requires little satiation from the outside world. The bottom line is that if you need to drop 150K to hang out with people, you're better of taking two years off and partying it up in Ibiza. You'll meet a lot more interesting people, have tons more fun and likely meet some great business contacts.

I am in no way trying to rag on you, it's just that you're trying to cure a disease by diagnosing symptoms.

Figure out what you truly want out of life. Having fun and living a rich life have zero correlation with wealth itself.

It's the same story in NYC. But you build your network by getting involved in stuff. I've got my friends from church, hang gliding, and diving.

Find a couple of fun things to do, and get involved. And you've been in the business for several years now; it's time to stop working on weekends and cut back to 10 hours/day. If you have trouble doing that- if new situations make you feel uncomfortable or if you feel bad and just want to stay at home or keep working, it's possible you've got a very mild case of depression. Most professionals in their twenties get it on some level (then they get married and get even more depressed). It's not that it's odd or that it's a problem- it's just that your life can be a lot better if you can identify it and do something about it.

Here's a few random ideas. Do some research online, introduce yourself online- to do some of the ice breaking, then show up and say hi. Chicagoans are particularly friendly and approachable folks:

http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/great-lakes-wrecking-crew/

http://www.chicagotemple.org/home.php

http://chicagophotoshop.com/forums/

http://www.artic.edu/aic/members_donors/book_club/index.html

http://www.scca-chicago.com/roadracing/

[quote=IlliniProgrammer]It's the same story in NYC. But you build your network by getting involved in stuff. I've got my friends from church, hang gliding, and diving.

Find a couple of fun things to do, and get involved. And you've been in the business for several years now; it's time to stop working on weekends and cut back to 10 hours/day. If you have trouble doing that- if new situations make you feel uncomfortable or if you feel bad and just want to stay at home or keep working, it's possible you've got a very mild case of depression. Most professionals in their twenties get it on some level (then they get married and get even more depressed). It's not that it's odd or that it's a problem- it's just that your life can be a lot better if you can identify it and do something about it.

Here's a few random ideas. Do some research online, introduce yourself online- to do some of the ice breaking, then show up and say hi. Chicagoans are particularly friendly and approachable folks:

http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/great-lakes-wrecking-crew/

http://www.chicagotemple.org/home.php

http://chicagophotoshop.com/forums/

http://www.artic.edu/aic/members_donors/book_club/index.html

http://www.scca-chicago.com/roadracing/[/quote]

Illini, thanks for the suggestions. But given that I want to meet and hang out with smart accomplished people, it's hard to do that by just going to a random recreational or intramural event. Going to a top b-school is ideal because it combines lots of fun AND being around the type of people i want to surround myself with.

jjc1122:

Illini, thanks for the suggestions. But given that I want to meet and hang out with smart accomplished people, it's hard to do that by just going to a random recreational or intramural event. Going to a top b-school is ideal because it combines lots of fun AND being around the type of people i want to surround myself with.

Dude, this is kind of sad. There is definitely something to be said for networking with accomplished people, but you can have fun with someone who scored lower on their SAT than you did. Just think about all of those people who got a 600 on their GMAT who are out having fun at night while you're sitting home. You're telling me you wouldn't be better off out having a beer with them?

I'm really not trying to be a dick, but it sounds like your attitude is what's holding you back. Chicago is an amazing city with a lot going on. Pick something that you like (or are good at) and be active. Some of my best times when I was in the city are when I joined Chicago Sport & Social Volleyball co-ed volleyball team with a coworker. We had a ton of fun playing and then we'd go out for drinks afterwards. I was dating my wife at that time so I wasn't looking to pick up chicks, but it was an awesome way to meet guys and girls.

I guess what I'm saying is, no matter your IQ having some booze and getting laid is a good thing. Just get out there and do something. Pick something you like and be active.

twitter: @CorpFin_Guy
jjc1122][quote=IlliniProgrammer]It's the same story in <abbr title=New York City>NYC</abbr>. But you build your network by getting involved in stuff. I've got my friends from church, hang gliding, and diving.</p> <p>Find a couple of fun things to do, and get involved. And you've been in the business for several years now; it's time to stop working on weekends and cut back to 10 hours/day. If you have trouble doing that- if new situations make you feel uncomfortable or if you feel bad and just want to stay at home or keep working, it's possible you've got a very mild case of depression. <em>Most</em> professionals in their twenties get it on some level (then they get married and get even more depressed). It's not that it's odd or that it's a problem- it's just that your life can be a lot better if you can identify it and do something about it.</p> <p>Here's a few random ideas. Do some research online, introduce yourself online- to do some of the ice breaking, then show up and say hi. Chicagoans are particularly friendly and approachable folks:</p> <p><a href=http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/great-lakes-wrecking-crew/ rel=nofollow>http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/great-lakes-wrecking-crew/</a></p> <p><a href=http://www.chicagotemple.org/home.php rel=nofollow>http://www.chicagotemple.org/home.php</a></p> <p><a href=http://chicagophotoshop.com/forums/ rel=nofollow>http://chicagophotoshop.com/forums/</a></p> <p><a href=http://www.artic.edu/aic/members_donors/book_club/index.html rel=nofollow>http://www.artic.edu/aic/members_donors/book_club/index.html</a></p> <p><a href=http://www.scca-chicago.com/roadracing/[/quote rel=nofollow>http://www.scca-chicago.com/roadracing/[/quote</a>:

Illini, thanks for the suggestions. But given that I want to meet and hang out with smart accomplished people, it's hard to do that by just going to a random recreational or intramural event. Going to a top b-school is ideal because it combines lots of fun AND being around the type of people i want to surround myself with.

SMH. This post pretty much sums up why you don't have friends.

jjc1122][quote=IlliniProgrammer]It's the same story in <abbr title=New York City>NYC</abbr>. But you build your network by getting involved in stuff. I've got my friends from church, hang gliding, and diving.</p> <p>Find a couple of fun things to do, and get involved. And you've been in the business for several years now; it's time to stop working on weekends and cut back to 10 hours/day. If you have trouble doing that- if new situations make you feel uncomfortable or if you feel bad and just want to stay at home or keep working, it's possible you've got a very mild case of depression. <em>Most</em> professionals in their twenties get it on some level (then they get married and get even more depressed). It's not that it's odd or that it's a problem- it's just that your life can be a lot better if you can identify it and do something about it.</p> <p>Here's a few random ideas. Do some research online, introduce yourself online- to do some of the ice breaking, then show up and say hi. Chicagoans are particularly friendly and approachable folks:</p> <p><a href=http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/great-lakes-wrecking-crew/ rel=nofollow>http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/great-lakes-wrecking-crew/</a></p> <p><a href=http://www.chicagotemple.org/home.php rel=nofollow>http://www.chicagotemple.org/home.php</a></p> <p><a href=http://chicagophotoshop.com/forums/ rel=nofollow>http://chicagophotoshop.com/forums/</a></p> <p><a href=http://www.artic.edu/aic/members_donors/book_club/index.html rel=nofollow>http://www.artic.edu/aic/members_donors/book_club/index.html</a></p> <p><a href=http://www.scca-chicago.com/roadracing/[/quote rel=nofollow>http://www.scca-chicago.com/roadracing/[/quote</a>:

Illini, thanks for the suggestions. But given that I want to meet and hang out with smart accomplished people, it's hard to do that by just going to a random recreational or intramural event. Going to a top b-school is ideal because it combines lots of fun AND being around the type of people i want to surround myself with.

Check out www.meetup.com and find something that seems interesting and go. There are lots of people that are new to cities/areas, that are newly single/divorced, coming out of a shell, etc. so everyone there will be open to meeting new people and growing their social circle so you should feel more comfortable.

I will also second what was previous mentioned...that you shouldn't focus on what types of people you want to hang out with because it is mostly pointless. I was the same way you were, I had limited time and didn't want to "waste" it on "normal" people, I wanted to find folks just like me that had similar interests, intellect, etc. Turns out they kind of find you...you don't have to screen them. Just go to things you find interesting, especially through the link above. You likely will meet dozens of people but just like in elementary and middle school, your social circle chooses itself because you will make plans with the people you find more interesting and won't make an effort with the ones you might find less appealing.

I would also suggest looking for young ACG events in your city and seeing it they have a Chamber of Commerce group for young professionals. Look to volunteer as well.

I understand your dilemma, I am in a city now, which I moved to 5 months ago, and I knew nobody at all. I work at a boutique shop so I am the only analyst, so not instant network. I also attended 2 different high schools, four different undergrads (never made solid contacts) and spent 4 years in the Army...so my network has few meaningful relationships...so I see the same benefit in going to bschool, but I am going to wait until I need to go for career purposes, not social reasons.

Anyways, so I was proactive in going to networking events with other financial professionals and I reached out to WSO members in the area to grab drinks/food and to get to know one another (I believe it was termed a "man date" by one guy's gf). Ironically, one of the guys I met actually graduated from my high school a few years before me and knows some of the people I know...but we meet up every once and a while and I've meet some of his friends. Moral of the story is: It isn't hard if you put in a little bit of effort and stop being so picky.

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan

Life is a lot easier when you start off assuming that most people you meet are willing and able to carry on an intellectual conversation. One person that I go hang gliding with lives in a trailer and makes a living carving deer for hunters, but he's pretty darned educated about science and international politics, and he's a lot of fun to talk with. I can guarantee you that your and my SAT/GRE scores are pretty darned close, but you can find smart folks everywhere. Illinois might have gotten electricity only ten years ago, but you can find smart folks there too.

I've found a lot of smart people in diving. It's definitely a sport for smart OCD people- particularly if you get into technical diving (below 130 feet). The best divers obsessively check things over again and again and again. And it's best done in clubs and groups. Start off with a good attitude and the assumption that there's a lot of smart people out there and a lot of wisdom to pick up, and you make a lot of friends.

Edmundo Braverman:
...You want to talk about a miserable undergrad experience? Try living in a tent in the desert for 7 fucking months.

Eddie, not all of us went to school in the middle ages...so we had dorms.

Just kidding...am I the only person that didn't mind being in the desert?

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan

I think my problem was that I was one of the nerds that got picked on in Junior High. Hence, I've never been picky about friends. You want to be my friend? It's not because you need help on your math homework? OH THANK GOD! DONE.

Junior high sucked, but today I can walk into any room where people are mildly approachable and walk out knowing three or four new people.

Dude, this is kind of sad. There is definitely something to be said for networking with accomplished people, but you can have fun with someone who scored lower on their SAT than you did. Just think about all of those people who got a 600 on their GMAT who are out having fun at night while you're sitting home. You're telling me you wouldn't be better off out having a beer with them?

Well, it's not that it's sad. The real question goes back to Dr. Phil:

"How's that working out for you?"

When I was in Junior High, things weren't working out for me. Heading into High School, I wound up reading a book that helped change my life:

http://www.amazon.com/Attracting-Terrific-People-Find-Bring/dp/03121804…

I'm not sure if that book is for jjc. But one of the great ironies of life is that you tend to find what you're not overtly looking for- particularly when it comes to relationships. If you want to find wise, successful people, don't look for them. Instead, get involved in a sport that costs a reasonable amount of money or intellect (IE: diving, roadracing, bridge clubs, and chess) and just play dumb for a while and stay interested in other folks. You can make more friends in two weeks being interested in others than you can in two months trying to get folks interested in you.

Be interested, not interesting. Don't judge a book by it's cover. And with six degrees of Kevin Bacon, everyone you meet knows someone you'd like to meet. In other words, go meet people (they're every where!) , get to know them a little, then decide who to get to know better. I rarely need to wear my Mensa shirt in public anymore.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I really appreciate it.

I think everyone for the most part brought up thoughtful and interesting points. Although I agree with some of it, I still believe that a top business school is by far the easiest way to meet like-minded people and have a blast for 2 years. I can't think of any other experience (unless you're extremely rich, celebrity, etc.) that would come close.

Hopefully I'll get in and see for myself what it's like.

jjc1122:
Thanks for the replies, everyone. I really appreciate it.

I think everyone for the most part brought up thoughtful and interesting points. Although I agree with some of it, I still believe that a top business school is by far the easiest way to meet like-minded people and have a blast for 2 years. I can't think of any other experience (unless you're extremely rich, celebrity, etc.) that would come close.

Hopefully I'll get in and see for myself what it's like.

No disrespect intended, but maybe the thought process that went into asking advice from people you know could see a little further down the highway of life, then blowing it off because we didn't validate your view, might just maybe be causing some of your challenges meeting new friends. IMHO...

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
jjc1122:
Thanks for the replies, everyone. I really appreciate it.

I think everyone for the most part brought up thoughtful and interesting points. Although I agree with some of it, I still believe that a top business school is by far the easiest way to meet like-minded people and have a blast for 2 years. I can't think of any other experience (unless you're extremely rich, celebrity, etc.) that would come close.

Hopefully I'll get in and see for myself what it's like.

So dropping a couple hundred K in tuition and opportunity cost is the "easiest way" to make a friend?!? In my opinion, there is a significant cost to doing an MBA just for friends. First and foremost, you are giving up a job in a time when the market has been extremely challenged, so you are risking being unemployed in the future (or underemployed) to potentially buy a social circle. Second, I said "potentially" because there is no guarantee your classmates will be your "friends"...they may collaborate with you in class, etc. but it doesn't mean they are going to call you to grab a drink when school is over. That brings me to my third point...you likely won't remain "friends" after school for a number of reasons. Your classmates will likely be coming form all over the world/country and will probably return to various places, so they won't necessarily be able to go grab drinks on Friday night because they moved to a different city, have a family, etc. I know the guys in my office that have MBAs don't often meet up with or hang out with their classmates, just use them for networking/business purposes...so it's more of a network you are buying, not a social circle.

I'm not saying an MBA wouldn't be a good choice for you at this point, I just want to caution you to do it for the right reasons, not just so you can take some time off and socialize or buy some friends. Good luck.

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
cphbravo96:
jjc1122:
Thanks for the replies, everyone. I really appreciate it.

I think everyone for the most part brought up thoughtful and interesting points. Although I agree with some of it, I still believe that a top business school is by far the easiest way to meet like-minded people and have a blast for 2 years. I can't think of any other experience (unless you're extremely rich, celebrity, etc.) that would come close.

Hopefully I'll get in and see for myself what it's like.

So dropping a couple hundred K in tuition and opportunity cost is the "easiest way" to make a friend?!? In my opinion, there is a significant cost to doing an MBA just for friends. First and foremost, you are giving up a job in a time when the market has been extremely challenged, so you are risking being unemployed in the future (or underemployed) to potentially buy a social circle. Second, I said "potentially" because there is no guarantee your classmates will be your "friends"...they may collaborate with you in class, etc. but it doesn't mean they are going to call you to grab a drink when school is over. That brings me to my third point...you likely won't remain "friends" after school for a number of reasons. Your classmates will likely be coming form all over the world/country and will probably return to various places, so they won't necessarily be able to go grab drinks on Friday night because they moved to a different city, have a family, etc. I know the guys in my office that have MBAs don't often meet up with or hang out with their classmates, just use them for networking/business purposes...so it's more of a network you are buying, not a social circle.

I'm not saying an MBA wouldn't be a good choice for you at this point, I just want to caution you to do it for the right reasons, not just so you can take some time off and socialize or buy some friends. Good luck.

Regards

Great points. My #1 reason for wanting to go is for career reasons, but social reasons are definitely very high on the list. I am very aware that life after b-school will be different; people will be busy with work, family, and other obligations. But I had a pretty lousy college experience and post-college has been pretty boring as well. So the way I look at it,going to a top MBA program will drastically help my career, and it wll be the best 2 years of my life. For me personally, that's worth $150K.

I don't know, if you are even a little personable and in a major city you can find a huge circle of friends pretty quickly. I would sit down and work out those social issues you have before B school. Don't think that just because you are getting your MBA people will flock to you. You could find yourself an outcast in business school also, except now with more debt.

You remind me of everyone I know who's attending law school right now. "college life for three more years, drink beers, crush bitties AND get a higher paying job than the one I have now? SWEET, chicks will totally dig me when I tell them I'm a lawyer!." Unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way.

I see your point of view, but I cannot encourage this decision. As a fellow primate I cannot let you do this to yourself.

Remember in high school, all the cool kids acted / hung out with / did things that the older crowd did? That trend continued on into college, am I right? Being that older guy who goes to grad school and tries to re-live the college experience - is maybe the least cool thing you could do. Was it cool when Michael Jackson built an amusement park in his back yard? Was it cool when 80's hair bands go on a reunion tour today and wear the same, albeit ill fitting clothes, that they wore 30 years ago? Perhaps the analogies are a bit extreme but you have to realize that no undergrad thinks a grad student is cool, and most grad students are going to grad school to grow up and be better adults / professionals. What you want to do is regress. Not cool.

It sounds like you just need fun. I suggest pussy. It works wonders. Can't find that? I suggest scotch, with the bros, in a dark lit corner of a blue collar bar. Everyone there will have problems and they're much worse than yours.

It would also be much cheaper to just rent "Old School" and be done with it.

You're lucky to have a job, and an MBA isn't the golden ticket that it used to be. I'd say give it another year, stick it out, and if you can't find what makes you happy, go do it.

/rant

P.S. the internet isn't the place method of communication when it comes to conveying tone. I am in no way being condescending or trying to bring you down. I just want you to understand that your bschool peers probably won't see you in the way that you are hoping to be seen.

Cookies With Milken:
You remind me of everyone I know who's attending law school right now. "college life for three more years, drink beers, crush bitties AND get a higher paying job than the one I have now? SWEET, chicks will totally dig me when I tell them I'm a lawyer!." Unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way.

I see your point of view, but I cannot encourage this decision. As a fellow primate I cannot let you do this to yourself.

Remember in high school, all the cool kids acted / hung out with / did things that the older crowd did? That trend continued on into college, am I right? Being that older guy who goes to grad school and tries to re-live the college experience - is maybe the least cool thing you could do. Was it cool when Michael Jackson built an amusement park in his back yard? Was it cool when 80's hair bands go on a reunion tour today and wear the same, albeit ill fitting clothes, that they wore 30 years ago? Perhaps the analogies are a bit extreme but you have to realize that no undergrad thinks a grad student is cool, and most grad students are going to grad school to grow up and be better adults / professionals. What you want to do is regress. Not cool.

It sounds like you just need fun. I suggest pussy. It works wonders. Can't find that? I suggest scotch, with the bros, in a dark lit corner of a blue collar bar. Everyone there will have problems and they're much worse than yours.

It would also be much cheaper to just rent "Old School" and be done with it.

You're lucky to have a job, and an MBA isn't the golden ticket that it used to be. I'd say give it another year, stick it out, and if you can't find what makes you happy, go do it.

/rant

P.S. the internet isn't the place method of communication when it comes to conveying tone. I am in no way being condescending or trying to bring you down. I just want you to understand that your bschool peers probably won't see you in the way that you are hoping to be seen.

There's a huge difference between law and b-school experience. Law school is a ton of work, grades matter, and the social life is relatively dull. B-school is a whole different world; I don't think people realize just how much fun it is.

I've put a lot of thought into this and am convinced that b-school is the correct path. My primary reason is so I can make a career transition. The social benefits are secondary but still importnt.

jjc1122:

There's a huge difference between law and b-school experience. Law school is a ton of work, grades matter, and the social life is relatively dull. B-school is a whole different world; I don't think people realize just how much fun it is.

I've put a lot of thought into this and am convinced that b-school is the correct path. My primary reason is so I can make a career transition. The social benefits are secondary but still importnt.

Poor JJC. Thinks he has a dead-end career as a trader at a Chicago Prop Shop raking in lots of money. Unhappy that he is only making 1/2 what a couple of multi-millionaires from H/Y/P are making and is embarassed of his "lowbrow" UPenn background. Worried that he will be terribly unsuccessful if he only retires with mid seven figures in the bank.

C'mon man. You've got a great career. Stick it out for five more years, buy a house in a rich north shore suburb like Wilmette, get married, retire, and have kids. You'll be the only dad who makes it to all the football games and Boy Scout campouts.

Cookies With Milken:
You remind me of everyone I know who's attending law school right now. "college life for three more years, drink beers, crush bitties AND get a higher paying job than the one I have now? SWEET, chicks will totally dig me when I tell them I'm a lawyer!." Unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way.

I see your point of view, but I cannot encourage this decision. As a fellow primate I cannot let you do this to yourself.

Remember in high school, all the cool kids acted / hung out with / did things that the older crowd did? That trend continued on into college, am I right? Being that older guy who goes to grad school and tries to re-live the college experience - is maybe the least cool thing you could do. Was it cool when Michael Jackson built an amusement park in his back yard? Was it cool when 80's hair bands go on a reunion tour today and wear the same, albeit ill fitting clothes, that they wore 30 years ago? Perhaps the analogies are a bit extreme but you have to realize that no undergrad thinks a grad student is cool, and most grad students are going to grad school to grow up and be better adults / professionals. What you want to do is regress. Not cool.

It sounds like you just need fun. I suggest pussy. It works wonders. Can't find that? I suggest scotch, with the bros, in a dark lit corner of a blue collar bar. Everyone there will have problems and they're much worse than yours.

It would also be much cheaper to just rent "Old School" and be done with it.

You're lucky to have a job, and an MBA isn't the golden ticket that it used to be. I'd say give it another year, stick it out, and if you can't find what makes you happy, go do it.

/rant

P.S. the internet isn't the place method of communication when it comes to conveying tone. I am in no way being condescending or trying to bring you down. I just want you to understand that your bschool peers probably won't see you in the way that you are hoping to be seen.

Bravo! you got me laughing here with your post.

Best Response

After spending quite a bit of time scrolling through, I had the same questions that came up over and over again. While b-school definitely attracts a certain type of person (outgoing, smart, ambitious, etc.), and you do NOT fit that mold (which, it doesn't sound like you do) and manage to get in, what makes you think they'll want to hang out with you. Establishing relationships with people are not about just having social events set up for you by the business school, etc. Sure, you will go to the outings and what not, but these people are not obligated to hang out with you. What will you do if they have a birthday party or something and you're not invited? This is a separate situation, but as an example, there was an analyst at my bank who was always included in the 'group' lunches where the whole group went out to eat together. However, when only the VPs or senior associates wanted to go out, they would only invite a handful of analysts and he was never included. Why? Because most people couldn't stand him and he wasn't fun to hang out with.

B-school definitely has a built in network and is probably a lot of fun. But, if you're not personable and just trying to rely on a $200k education to 'do the work for you', you won't get far.

I feel like you're hyping b-school up to be some great gateway into money, a social life / great friends, etc. but don't set the bar too high. I'd venture to say that a majority of the people in b-school had awesome undergrad/post-grad work experiences (socially) and many of them are not looking for new friends; it just comes naturally. You don't want to come off like "Fun Guy" from the Equities in Dallas tidbit from LSO.

As for meeting 'like minded' people in other cities, volunteer is usually a pretty good route, especially with the organizations that have a reputation for drawing the young professionals / pre-business school crowd.

I can't believe you guys still reply to this guy. jjc1122 has been flaming xoxohth aka autoadmit.com for years.

His story is that he's a Korean kid from the South who went to an Ivy and didn't fit in and now he's in Chicago working for a BIGHEDGEFUND but doesn't fit in because he didn't go to a Big Ten school.

All his threads are on the topics: - B-school is the best two years of your life - HBS guys are the most prestigious in Boston and hook up with the hottest girls - Compare New York and Chicago - Chicago sucks if you didn't go to a Big Ten school - Black guys at SEC schools fuck the hottest white girls on campus and on and on and on... No one even replies to him there anymore.

Just tell him to go away and help his parents run their dry cleaning business.

jjc1122:
ThaVanBurenBoyz:
Heyzeus christ, I am disappointed in every one of you. This is clearly, CLEARLY, a troll thread.

No; I'm not trolling.

Standard troll response right there. Go to MBA dude! People are always hitting the club after class, and everyone is invited because you're apart of The Program!!! :)

Seriously, the night life is great, you walk around in biz casual signaling to the undergrad women that you are a man of money, and THEY come to YOU. People follow hip-hop again, since they have the time, and blast it in the apartments and ball out, son. Oh, and this is all completely done with class, because everyone is highly intelligent, and will be making healthy 6-figures immediately after graduation.

I'd suggest Kellogg over Booth, because Kellogg is simply closer to the clubs, and white women. Plus, the events get more senior professionals to visit, because they feel safer in Evanston. Get ready for a 2-year, high-class, party. You'll be drinking illegal 4loko with the Rockefeller's in no time, with a stripper on your lap.

I would be miserable at B-school. Every day, I'd be calculating out the cost of my instruction, which would work out to ~$300. I'd realize I was going into debt that I could never get out of until I paid it back. Then I would want to throw up and/or go back to eating Ramen Noodles.

Good old Illinois cost $4K/semester in tuition. That works out to about $40/day. Expensive but not horrible.

Come on, living among eldery is the best way to improve your social skills.

Fist off, you don't get the bragging and cocky moods of some future super-smart super-rich folks - which is of course another nice playground -, but you get the real deal. If you are doing any community service, or sell vegetables at the door, you will a) greatly improve your door-knocking ability, b) do old people a favour, c) learn the foot in the door technique, and once you are in the door, you can chat about all those things that will give you a nice benefit: these people may want to talk to you about things your grandpartents weren't talking with you about.

Experiences of humiliation, disrespect, fears; they know all that stuff eventually that you have been through, they were activists, eventually in some political union and know how the networks work, without having so much affinity to feel the need to disclose the information; they give you the "street"-concern regarding the state of the economy and potential issues that they see that "your future kind" may be doing wrogn.

I mean, you will always deal with older people in your career, people who are on one side exceptional at what they do. But they have the same parents somewhere at home eventually that you serve your veggies to, they have some relation that files the same complaints, they have children they worry about. You see you can get a lot more depth and ability to talk about stuff that matter to people personally than simply going to grad school, where you personally would basically learn to cover your lack of self-confidence, whcih would make you eventually a defensive and distant charakter, which makes it a lot harder for you to work in front-office.

Just my 2 cents

"Make 'Nanas, not war! "

If you struggled to socialize in undergrad and in your daily life, you will undoubtedly struggle to fit in at a top b-school. The kinds of people who attend these schools are generally NOT socially awkward and do not love to sit around all day and discuss the WSJ.

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
CompBanker:

If you struggled to socialize in undergrad and in your daily life, you will undoubtedly struggle to fit in at a top b-school. The kinds of people who attend these schools are generally NOT socially awkward and do not love to sit around all day and discuss the WSJ.

Well...right on the first part. They're pretty socially adept but a lot of the conversations can be pretty nerdy.

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