How much time/effort do you all put into your long distance girlfriends?
Ever since my medium distance SO started their MF PE job, all effort has gone down drastically. Trying really hard to not take it personally and be supportive and understanding of their busy workload esp since they’re a junior, but when they’re cancelling trips on protected weekends because they’re tired, not FaceTiming, and disappears for 24 hours on text it stings. I’m really not sure how long I can handle this Trying to understand how often y’all text/FaceTime/see/go on dates with your long distance significant other
Maybe this goes on the off topic forum but I did my entire PE stint long distance and made it work. Sounds like you need to talk to her and communicate how you’re feeling / what needs you have from her and if there’s something you guys can go to find a compromise. Both parties need to put in the effort and while PE sucks and has long hours, lots of people do it and the job in itself is not an excuse for you to feel this way. Also if effort randomly took a drop, I would question if there’s anyone else in the picture as hard it is to hear that, but you should absolutely communicate your feelings to her and see how she reacts.
What if this is a girl asking how much time other guys on this forum put into their girlfriends?
I’m the girl unfortunately
What does "entire PE stint" even mean? Why don't you just state how many years it was?
what mfpe has protected weekends?
Holidays.
those aren't protected...
It’s very hard but you have to have realistic expectations. There were days where I literally was at my emotional breaking point and did not know how I was going to get through the next 24-72 hours worth of work because of the volume and pace and intensity of it.
Rather than getting mad at him for not communicating more, maybe use this as an opportunity to be concerned and check in with him and make sure he’s doing okay. He might not be and might be feeling like he’s fucking up everything for everyone (work, his relationship, himself if he’s getting fat). PE is the first time a lot of high achievers really experience high amounts of failure and underperformance and negative feedback because it is such a difficult and highly transactional job.
PE was a very very dark period of my life and I really damaged a lot of relationships during that period because I was emotionally absent or miserable to be around. You’re perfectly entitled to want a BF who is emotionally and physically present, but it’s not going to be him for the duration of his associate days. If that’s an issue then you should break up asap. If you have longer term aspirations for your relationship and are willing to tough it out, then I would focus on being supportive and letting him know that you believe in him but, around 1-1.5 years in (ie when recruiting for next gig starts), have a frank and mature conversation about what you want your future to look like - including how you want to show up for each other. A career in PE will likely not be in alignment with that vision, but that’s a choice you two can make consciously and proactively together.
Female in PE here. Sorry to break it to you but there's a good chance he might be cheating on you (not saying he is). Just from my experience, I know plenty of PE/HF guys who date around while having a "main" girlfriend and use the excuse of being on a live deal or dinners/events, etc. as a way to let their girlfriend know that they are too busy to text or see them. Often times, they'll actually be going out with their friends, especially if he doesn't respond or send a text in a full 24 hours. Ask one of your girlfriends who has Raya or Hinge to see if he pops up. If he is just really stressed out, I'd find some downtime to speak to him and voice your concerns.
I don’t think they’re cheating to be honest, I just think they’re busy
I’d recommend you find time in-person to discuss how you feel and voice your feelings in a polite, non-stressful way. Also long-distance in itself is already hard, you need to decide whether it’s worth it to move to where he is or end it.
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hey, wassup shawty
This is toxic as fuck. You don’t know anything about the guy or girl in this scenario to be making a blanket statement like this. Pls stop
Bro imagine having time to have multiple girlfriends in MFPE I don’t have time to eat lunch lmao
Don't let other women put ideas in your head. Women are always keeping women single. If you don't have any real suspicions then don't take it there and start accusing him or acting crazy because you'll find what you want to find eventually. That said, there's some truth to it, people suck and people cheat in every industry, but that's not this situation.
The reality is long distance relationships are hard enough as it is, and he's in an extremely demanding industry. Protected weekends (Saturdays?) are typically only protected on paper and holidays aren't protected either. Being "too tired" is a valid excuse, but you wouldn't understand that unless you've been through it. It takes a lot of energy to give to a SO and sometimes you don't have it - especially after a grueling day in an industry that milks every bit of mental and emotional capital from you.
SOs want their partners to be there for them, listen to their problems, listen to their feelings, and they want them to be present. Sometimes people are just too tired to do that. He's also fighting for every minute of sleep he can get, and I guarantee his mind is all over the place thinking about all the demands his team and superiors are placing on him. He's at the bottom of the totem pole and has very little power to push back on anything (even those last-minute demands that force him to cancel on you). Your demands aren't doing him any favors at all. You're just adding more stress.
With all that said, you do have a right to have a SO that's present and available. Unfortunately, you're dating a junior in PE, and that's not him right now. Basketball SOs know what they're signing up for, rapper SOs know what they're signing up for, SOs of CEOs know what they're signing up for, military SOs know, model SOs, trucker SOs, etc. Dating someone in any industry comes with some baggage, and you have to decide if the person is worth the baggage that comes along and not being a priority in their life right now. If you're not then it's ok, but you have to be honest with yourself if you can't handle it.
Ex and I did long distance. Really tried to meet her needs but it wasn’t enough. You both have to be all in to make the relationship work..seems like he may not be. If you want to be with this guy, you have to fully accept his lifestyle. Also, have to communicate realistic expectations for the relationship. At the end of the day, the job is so unpredictable and he’s just trying to set up his future. Have to understand how much he’s sacrificing. Saw some comments about cheating but realistically he probably doesn’t have any time to cheat
Rip off the bandaid my friend. Did one year long distance - we both cheated on each other and then decided to call it quits. I still talk to my ex all the time though and we’re pretty good friends. When I started IB and moved to NY, I also broke up with my girlfriend to focus on the grind. Life’s too short to be in subpar relationships.
Should you take relationship advice from me or any strangers on the internet? Probably not, and do what’s best for you.
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