How to boost efficiency?

As we all know, the 25 hour work day 8 days a week can be a real challenge. I recently decided to try to make incremental changes in my life to increase my efficiency so I can have more time to sleep, first of all, and then maybe try to squeeze in time to get a girlfriend or see friends once maybe even twice a year (in passing of course, no time to actually hangout). I started off by getting a maid to help clean up around the house. She comes every day of the week and she's really helped me clean up the mountain of ubereats takeout bags in my 3,000 sq-ft apartment. Next I decided to get lasik eye surgery since the time to put in my contacts in the morning and take them out at night really cuts into my potential sleep time. Plus my contacts would get really dry after staring at my screen for 72 hours straight and I just don't have time to put in eye drops. My boss is up my dick needing comments addressed exactly 5 hours before he even sent me the document. Fuck me, right? Anywho, I've quit showering altogether. My mega bulge bracket bank still lets us work from home (yeah we're fucking sick) so it's not like my horrific body odor will be smelled by anyone anyway, besides the maid maybe but I pay her, so fuck her. Since my quadruple monitor computer set up is exactly 29 steps from the closest bathroom in my 2 story 3,000 sq-ft Manhattan apartment, I've decided to cut those steps out of the equation altogether. The desk set up is directly above the first floor's bathroom, so I cut a hole in my chair as well as the floor and positioned my chair in the precise spot so any waste I expel falls directly in the toilet below. Fucking sweet, right? Well it only has a 44% success rate on average, but whatever, I just have the fucking maid clean up the rest. I've found that I'm now getting an extra 45 minutes of sleep per night, so I've effectively doubled the amount of sleep that I get per night. I'm wondering if any of you have found any practices that work for you to boost your efficiency. Thanks.

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I swallow my gum, no time to throw it out. The microseconds I save add up. I wear adult diapers so that way I don't mess up my flow at work. If I have to shit or piss I'm at my desk just shitting away but don't break my flow. I'm literally in a meeting and just shitting my bowels out while asking questions and taking notes. The whole team has started doing it. Probably save about 30-45 min this way. I've also become an extreme minimalist (I can't afford a maid) I rent a micro-studio that's about the size of 1.5 parking spaces and share it with one other person (not gf lol). I own one bowl and a spork. Three pairs of shirts and one pair of pants. Soon I hope we become a nudist society that way I can become even more efficient since I won't have to take the time to put on clothes or wash them

 

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