Interested in a girl who's into BDSM (and I'm not)
As I write this, I am very unsure of what to do. And so, naturally, I turn to WSO to solve my problems.
Here's the situation. I've gone out with a girl a couple times (we are both in college, she's a senior, I'm a junior), and I happen to really like her. We both have very similar quirky interests and similar life stories, and we are just vibing on all levels. She has her cons, but overall, I think she's a good person and she's pretty smoking hot.
However, after our date tonight, I found out she's into some...deviant sexual stuff. I won't get into specifics, but it's on the spectrum of BDSM. I've only ever had one other partner, and it was all vanilla, which I'm fine with. I've also never been into the rough porn stuff - I thought it was fake and weird (no offense to those that are, just not my thing).
Hence, I'm stuck in a weird situation. I'm not sure if I'll be able to fake the kind of stuff she wants. Any other guy been in a similar spot? And this isn't the first time it has happened to me (in the time before, I broke it off easier for other reasons). Should I just man up and play the role? Or just break it off? I want to make her happy but, damn, I'm not into that stuff.
TL;DR what do I do with a girl who is into deviant sexual stuff when I'm not.
just do it pussy
just do it pussy by sticking it up something that’s not her pussy
Best advice here. Suck it up. Step up or step out son.
This. How can any guy not be into bdsm?
You clearly don't know much about bdsm
Weren't you just canvasing a public forum on how you can get girls to even talk to you?
Come back to us Goldie, we need you more than ever.
Goldie wants back. He texted me this week and said he needs some support from the WSO monkeys for what he is going through right now.
you dont even know what youre into youve fucked one chick and two hands
Sounds like she's into nerds
Bad sex with a hot chick is better than pretty much any other day, give it a try, you might enjoy it.
Especially if she’s submissive>>>
THIS. So this.
Also, there's always round 2, so if it was bad sex, it can just be an opportunity to get it right next time. The chick is still hot.
If she gives you round two. Or him. Whatever.
Lol yeah dude until she ties you up and kicks you in the dick for 30 minutes straight lmfaooo
is she stronger than you? is that the concern? that things get out of hand and you get beat up?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_position
Find some from this list that you both enjoy and go from there
There are many many elements of BDSM have nothing to do with actual sexual intercourse or any sort of penetration whatsoever... unless you want to include mind-fucks. :)
Starring Hugh Grant...
you lucky bastard!
sack up!
You can introduce her to me. I will BDSM the quirky interest out of her.
You should let her tie you up in a SEX DUNGEON. Just pretend she's Janet Yellen and it'll be fine.
Haha thanks guys, I'll give this a shot.
What happened when you tried Lloyd Blankfein’s suggestion
Instead of getting punished by your VP, get punished by a hot girl
Is she a dom a sub or a switch. Dom is a non starter, leave immediately. Sub is your dream come true, and you can put up with a switch.
Why is dom a non starter? There is something sexy about being tied up by a women and teased.
I was picturing some Chuck Rhodes style BDSM...not a fan.
Go for it, the more vanilla sex you have the more bored you'll get with it and eventually you're gonna turn to some form of BDSM at some point.
In the end, pretty much all girls like that shit and you have a perfect chance to experiment and learn from this chick right now. Even vanilla girls get wet if you can talk about BDSM confidently
when you say BDSM....people actually want women dominating them? Nothing makes me go softer faster
It's honestly just for fun/pretend. Sometimes role reversals can be exciting/interesting. If you're that turned off by a woman dominating you, that sounds like insecurity with your masculinity.
I think I keep thinking about heavy BDSM, and not like silk ties and candles...which honestly sound pretty gay.
Not that the last sentence has helped me with "insecure masculinity". Still sounds boring...
The following is coming from someone considerably older than you and also I’m not a guy, so my perspective and thoughts may not be what you're looking for... that being said...
Talk to her and ask what are the things she really can’t live without in that realm of her life.
Just because she’s “into deviant” stuff doesn’t mean that she requires it 24/7… but if she does, then it’s better for both of you that you find that out sooner versus later and not waste each other's time.
And be honest with her and yourself, based on what she shared with you, absolutely none of it interests you out-right? No gray areas of curiosity at all?
No? Then go no further with her.
You ask “should I fake it/play the role”… would YOU want someone to fake their interest in things that you deem important or relevant to you, whether it’s what you like in bed, your interest in sports or politics or fitness or anything else?
Why pretend to be willing to provide someone what they want or like? Faking interest always dooms things… whether it takes days, weeks, months... eventually you’re going to show your disinterest [or certain body parts will!] or you will say the wrong thing [or actually say the honest thing, am I right?] and then that makes things awkward for all involved.
As for all the guys here giving you grief about putting up or shutting up... it’s obviously fine not to be into things that other people are into, BUT you also shouldn’t be calling stuff deviant, short of it involving children or animals, just because you’re not into it. As long as you’re both over 18 and not hurting anyone, [unless that happens to be what they want and you’re fine with that, heh heh]… that’s all that matters.
Username checks out
Paraphrasing some comedian:
Girlfriend: “I want you to choke me during sex in bed”
Boyfriend: “Can’t we do it the old-fashioned way?... . . . . at the dinner table?”
mmmmm sliders
![https://odditymall.com/includes/content/cheeseburger-ball-gag-0.jpg][ht…]
So what ended up happening? Did you enjoy any of it?
Yo DanielHardman, we (I) need a follow up. My work-toilet browsing brought me here and I'm heavily invested in this relationship.
Seconding this, either tell us how it went, or send her to me so I can finish what you couldn't DanielHardman
Turned into @DanielSoftman ):
underrated comment
Yuck. I’m genuinely repulsed by BDSM. I wouldn’t even be able to get it up for her at all after finding that out. I would run for the hills.
Remember this, hurts less than spending the night alone. Fuck running for the hills. Mama didn't raise no pussy.
Has nothing to do with fear of the pain. It’s just not a turn on in the least. It’s actually straight-up disgusting. I’m as turned on by it as I am by the idea of having sex with a transsexual. It’s just fucking disgusting.
edit for privacy
So many details are missing, don't even know where to start.
Still DanielSoftman
Just get yourself a nice safety word.
As long as she doesn't like to peg.
Just ask her what she's into and start slow.
You should PM me her number
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