just blew up my company

Well, I'm two days into being unemployed and I'm already starting fights with Amazon to pass the time. Just spent almost an hour in a chat with three different reps. I have a chest freezer ice bath in my basement and I bought a sump pump to replace the old water with fresh water because siphoning is a pain. A while back, Amazon introduced the option to purchase "inspected" returns for a discount. I've had success buying returned stuff before and have just gotten damaged packaging or a missing booklet.

I bought the pump back in May and didn't get around to opening it until now because I have time on my hands all of a sudden. I open it and the hose and adapter are missing. I couldn't even use a garden hose - let alone the 2'' hose I wanted to use.

I've had a lot of success getting Amazon to right their wrongs and even go above and beyond before. I found the hose and adapter and ordered them. Then, I opened my Amazon customer service chat bookmark, explained the issue, and sat back waiting for my $27.78 reimbursement. I wasn't even asking for a replacement pump. I just wanted them to pay for the hose.

Fucking Siddhartha joins the chat. Bitches at me for opening it so later. I explain how sometimes, people buy shit they won't need until later. Tells me this product has no discount options since it's sold by a third-party seller. I'm like, 'So was it not inspected then like Amazon claims?' They agree to accept the return and ask me to buy a replacement. 'So you want to drive and return a product I need now which I already have the replacement parts ordered for in order to correct a mistake Amazon made?'

I asked to speak to her supervisor and that person pretty much told me the same shit, but then offered me $7. I'm like, 'How did you come up with that number? Check my orders. That's what I'm asking for.' She kept telling me the pump has no discount options. I'm like, 'I don't want a discount. I want a reimbursement.' Ramagupta is confused as to the distinction. After I post a Websters definition for her, she connects me with a nice man I like to imagine as being Swedish. His name is Basil. He apologizes for the trouble and offers me a full refund on the pump.

PPshhhhhhhhhhhhh

OK.... I'm gonna go eat some eggs, take a walk, and watch a lot more Midnight Diner now.