My Life Story - It’s Still NY Boy

It’s 2am, the skyline lights are flickering in the distance from the perfect view in my downtown highrise. This is way more prestigious than West Village. And I’m at a PE Mega Fund. Doesn’t get much better.

I open Snapchat to see my friends having spent the day partying on a mega yacht in Miami, or jogging in an Austin run club with hot Texas girls. Who cares, I say to myself. This is New York. The land of opportunity, the center of prestige, and the global hub of competition. I’m here to make a name for myself, not have fun.

5 years go by.

I’m now at a L/S hedge fund - the ultimate fuck you of finance. I’m at the top. I get home at 6:30pm after being spot on about a company I’m following’s Q2 revenue projections, and somehow the stock is still down 4.5%. I don’t mind, most hedge funds don’t even beat the market according to Warren Buffet. And my loser PE friends who couldn’t break into the public markets are still grinding away pulling all nighters.

I open Instagram, and I see my friends are now married to the love of their life. It’s kind of heart warming, but they’re in Florida or Texas - wtf even goes on there? Are they in LMM PE, Private Credit, or Corp Dev? Who cares. I don’t need a wife. I have my prestigious Third Point LinkedIn logo. Most importantly though, I’m still in New York. The land of freedom and perseverance. I love it here.

5 years go by.

I’m now the CFO of a super boring industrials business, at the forefront of game changing operations and strong free cash flow generation. My equity package is enormous, and we’re even planning an IPO soon. My computer monkey hedge funds friends are still making meaningless models gambling on nonsense, while I’m actually making a real company better and improving it. I’m the CFO. I’m at the top of my game.

I open Instagram once again, and see my friends now have 1-2 children, at least. What? How? Who is prioritizing making a family and spending time with loved ones when you could be maximizing shareholder value and buying another Patek. Were they right to leave New York, I ask myself? Is life really better somewhere else? How is Daniel at the beach with his family? Is James really taking his children to Disney this Christmas? Ahh, forget it. This is New York. I eat at Carbone every night. I love how dark and cold it gets here, it makes you work even harder. I’m still prestigious, I tell myself.

5 years go by.

I open Instagram and all of my friends have multiple children and a massive house in Florida that costs 1/3 my apartment in New York? Where the HELL is my wife? The only girl I speak to is the hot HR team at my company. I start to feel this sharp pain inside me. Was this even worth it? I have money, but no memories? No family? No impact…no worth…? No. Forget it. I look at the mirror and start to cry. I’m devastated.

Somehow I pull it together, wipe off the tears, and utter the most important phrase in Wall Street oasis history — “It’s still New York, boy…”