Hi everyone,
Once quarantine ends, I'm thinking of hitting up the local Target and picking up some hot moms. Does anyone who has done this before have any advice? How do I approach them and then how do I "exit," if you know what I mean? Thanks guys.
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Just say - hello - you look amazing / nice to meet you. Hand them your card. Tell them to text you. Walk away. Trust me this works.
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Isaiah don't listen to this private equity hater. Do you and don't break any laws, then please write this autobiography we have all been asking for.
If you don't have a card, go on moo.com and make cards. Name and cell is all you need. I have name, email, cell.
https://www.moo.com/us/business-cards
Picking up MILFs at any old place is going to result in lots of rejection even if you’re a 10. You have to go to a place where single MILFs hang out. Ex: Johnny’s Hideaway in Atlanta. Well-known milf bar. I’m sure other cities have them
+1 for Johnny's holy shit what a reference and what a bar, this is a bucket list experience
I gotta get to Target...
idk why but when I read the title I thought OP was talking about picking up MILFs from the target schools LOL.
Yeah I need help with that too.
step 1 be attractive
step 2 follow step 1
One thing I’ve learned from the internet the best way meet a milf so you can meat a milf is by taking a course with one as your instructor. Otherwise, there is always your friend’s hot mom and girlfriend’s mom.
Hinge profile. Include pic of vaccination card to give you an inside track for now.
Sourcing
Hit up organic supermarkets (wholefoods/local owned co-op) and local coffee shops, target organic and specialty. Also go for fitness classes (think pilates/yoga/spin) for this strat you have to fight off the perception of being a creep and being gay, if you have to choose then play into the second one - best advice I can give is to just act/be genuinely interested in the class, get there early, put in face time and build rapport with instructors, you will have the MILFs gravitating to you.
To practice your approach consider college campuses on tour days or move in days. Lower rate of success, however high frequency means you can use these to perfect your pitch and story. Added bonus is you get to hit on MILFs in front of their kids.
Identification Strategy
Identifying MILFs is difficult, you can go for ones still married (high-risk, high-reward) or divorced MILFs (safer bet but don't get greedy and stay too long after the pump and dump - you'll end up with a liability).
Now the obvious play is to check whether they have a ring, but this doesn't mean anything as a standalone data point. If you see the same MILFs regularly, the key is the variations in ring wearing. If Jenny from yoga always wears her ring and as she is talking to Lauren about being stressed you notice she isn't wearing it, this is the time to work on your distressed buyout pitch.
My go to play for identifying divorced MILFs is look for their assets showing their age (if they have a higher end car (Cayenne, lexus SUV) but it is 5+ years old, potentially they got the car in the divorce but don't have cash flow to trade in).
Building Rapport and Winning the Engagement
Here we get to the pointy end. MILFs aren't your startup CEO that has their eyes set on an IPO, as such, they require more pitching to close the deal.
Here's a scenario - MILF with no ring, in wholefoods, dressed in active wear
The strat here is to check the trolley before you approach, this can give you vital info that means you can personalize your pitch. Think: how many people is she shopping for, is there any pet food in the trolley, check for dietary trends (vegan, vego, etc), and does it look like she is buying for kids/teenagers.
One strat for approaching is the faux question turn compliment maneuver; "Hey, that (dog food/vegan something/niche snack) looks grea- oh wow, you're beautiful". From there, introduce yourself, shake hands, and start asking about them (name, vegan, yoga, etc). Note on compliments is do not be overly sexual, this isn't MILF specific.
Note
Despite being harder to break into, MILFs are lower cost and less demanding work than models and bottles, however there are less perks (think head while driving). Good luck OP.
Swing and a miss bud
He had some good stuff in there but tried to rope in too many finance memes / lingo
gave you a banana for your effort
Jeez.. Chill out Cringe Lord, not everything is about Finance.
Harsh responders... this was hilarious
To be fair I took the "plz fix" comments on board and edited down the finance references, I think it ended up as a better deliverable due to the criticism.
Non-Targets tend to be less competitive. Try Whole Foods?
look out for their husbands the next aisle over lol
Whole Foods or generic local overpriced organic supermarket > Target
low eq watchdog
Baking isle at Whole Foods. “Hey, have you tried this coconut sugar, almond flour etc” Next you’ll hear all about their paleo diet and you’re off to the races.
Which Target are we talking here? HYPSM or NYU?
easy. just click on those annoying "local milfs near you" ads on pornhub
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