Strength in the face of rejection - how to navigate

Objectively I am in a great place right now all things considered (age/degree/health/income and job) -  my character and mindset however are under heavy pressure at the moment after rejection rejection in both my personal life and on the career front within the last 1-2 months. 

On the upside, I am 24 years old and working a high paying job and in strong physical shape. There are certainly flaws in my character that are currently being highlighted - I often get ahead of myself and too excited at times throughout my life whether it be about a job or a relationship, and that mindset often causes me to fumble  opportunities before they are even really fully in my hands. Also when I get rejected clearly I don’t have the ability to stomach it very well. 

I think I need to generally mature my approach and take a slower and more calculated and humble mindset than I do at the moment. Candidly I grew up in a very fortunate family and often had things handed to me so I haven’t felt pressure like this before. I realize I can grow from these opportunities in a substantial way if I treat them properly, however it feels like a door shut in my face and I want to sit down and cry. Actually to be honest earlier today I genuinely felt the urge to drive my face in to the wall lol. 

I am still forcing myself to the gym and journaling about how to reframe my mentality and use this as motivation for future success as rough as it is in the moment currently. Curious how you all push through adversity and use it as fuel versus letting it define you. If I do it wrong and let it run me over I feel like this can turn in to depression.


Sorry for rambling here. Appreciate all of you 

6 Comments
 

What rejection?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Most Helpful

Don't know what the details are but it sounds like you haven't hit a big failure point yet. A few years ago, I had similar circumstances where things were smooth without any major setbacks. Then, I hit a major failure point and it fried my brain. Really never had that kind of life failure happen so it turned my mental state upside down. Fast forward to now - I restructured my mindset, did a complete 180 and ended up in a great spot. More importantly, I learned how to avoid making the same mistakes again which has come in clutch very recently.

"If I do it wrong and let it run me over I feel like this can turn in to depression" - I think this is the key. There really isn't a "right way" to do it. You have to ditch this perfectionist mindset and be open to different possibilities. For me, it was being open to another path. I thought my path had to look a certain way for success, which ultimately kept me from finding the awesome path I am on now. You have to learn how to compromise with yourself. It may not be exactly what you think you want, but sometimes taking that leap of faith will lead you to a different, better spot. 

Yeah, getting rejected sucks, but it teaches you to reflect. It's ok to fail, always so many opportunities that can grow out of it. As mentioned above, therapy is a good option as well. Certainly helped me in my situation.

 

Since you have a good job, the only rejection that would make sense here would be related to a female.  If you were rejected by a female, the best cure is to move on to the next one.

 

I’m 27 and have dealt with my fair share of rejections (and have had to reject) plenty in NYC. It is not easy / isn’t meant to be. Best I can say is:

If they leave, let them. If they stay, let them. Try not to get hung up on the fact that someone leaves, but rather, just acknowledge you shared some good times and take enjoyment in that. Let yourself feel the pain first (because there isn’t really a choice there), but then be thankful someone made you smile and excited you for a bit. You’ll find someone who does the same for you who is also right for you (and will stick around).

 

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