This Makes a Difference


 Family.

However, it was here that he faced certain challenges for which I had not prepared him. My strengths, which I thought, were not of much help in academic circles, and were missing in him, started creating mental agony and pain for the young man. He lacked the confidence to reach out, to befriend, to make small talk, to convert small opportunities into big wins.

This is from a letter cited in the DealBook - The letter was removed. A copy was posted by @CFACandidateLevel1: Search a son never dies by sunil gupta moving letter from a father of an ibanking analyst

What skills and qualities did your family help you developed? What do you wished you had been taught? 


I’ll start first.

• Resiliency:
After every failure and setback I know I need to get back on my feet. I still question myself, complain, and get disappointed but it’s only temporarily. Nobody is fully capable of helping you except yourself, and that’s why even after I fall I need to get back up. This has helped immensely for if I didn’t have resiliency I would have given up a long time ago.
• If Money $$$ can solve it, it’s not a problem:
This isn’t a skill or quality; it’s a mindset. Money matters, period. Knowing that money can solve a problem definitely makes the situation less complex. The real question (then) is where are you going to get the money? And what’s stopping you from doing so. From there, it’s all strategy and execution.

Things I wish I had been taught/learned earlier:

• Hard work (e.g. top grades) doesn’t guarantee success:
My parents believe hard work is the path to success. They believe hard work is key to getting a good-paying job. Sure, it’s a factor but often it’s not the only factor. It takes more than hard work to be successful. Hard work is only a component. What probably matters more is who notices that you’re working hard – that’s a story for the veterans.
• Ask for help, it’s okay:
Up until recently I’ve had this idea that I can solve everything on my own, by myself. If I can’t solve it alone it just means I’m a failure. When push comes to shove I just need to tell myself to sleep less, eat less, and work harder. This has to be one of the stupidest ideas I’ve held onto my entire life. It’s dangerous (mentally, physically, academically, professionally) to assume that it’s wrong to ask for help. I wish I knew it’s not shameful to ask for help. I wish I knew I deserved help. This has to be one of the topic things that would have made my life easier in all aspects of my life.
• Compete but don’t compare:
Develop your intrapersonal skills. Be competitive as an individual, but don’t compare. Why would you compare yourself to somebody else when you have your own story and own strengths/weakness? S/he’s making more money, got a better job, better relationship, and etc. Ask yourself why that’s the case and do something about it. We can’t change your past, we can’t change our upbringing; however, we can change our mentality and how we see our story. It’s good to want improvement, it’s harmful to compare. Comparing yourself to somebody else amasses to little but negativity and self-deprecation.

Thought monkeys? You have your own story. What skills and qualities have led you to where you are today? What do you wish you knew? Of those skills what will you instill in your children, juniors, and to those who want to learn from you? -->