What are you genuinely looking for in a girl ?

Considering it's getting tougher and tougher dating in the city due to every single girl wanting to be an influencer/only talking about it, what traits are you looking for in a girl that makes her stand out from 90% of the female population?

58 Comments
 

The pandemic wrecked havoc on dating/marriage/birth rates. A lot of young people are single now and have been for a while. The general consensus is that marriage rates are down for a variety of reasons, not just the pandemic.

Important to me would be a good character/morally sound, not into drugs, not addicted to alcohol/tobacco, and some form of an education. Doesn't have to be a target school or anything, just not permanently unemployed.

My current gf does meet these requirements and it's been going well.

 

same although occasionally drug use is fine, especially if it's just shrooms / acid / weed etc. big drinking is a massive turn off for me

also prefer women (and humans really) who don't have massive egos and tie their self-worth to career/prestige shit so I've had the most luck and compatibility with women who aren't in super hardcore finance/law/consulting jobs

just need good human beings in my life - I'm fortunate to have one right now

 

so, I said "no drugs" because of 2A. I grew up in the countryside, with hunting, everyone carrying and around guns in general. My mind doesn't allow to be around guns and any substance at any point in time. Having said that, I am not someone who runs around strapped all the time either.
my other hobbies are around motorcycles, cars, working on them in the garage, driving, road trips, travel... - again, largely incompatible with being under the influence of anything.

I haven't done drugs so far and I don't think I will. Maybe that's how I grew up, my family was part of the UN and we couldn't do any of this.

 

Just wondering, why is a top notch education/similar career not “required” per se?

I would think most people in the industry, being the high achievers they are, would want it to translate to their dating/married life too.

 
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Go the Type B route (e.g. go in with no expectations). There's no science to dating and everybody's experience is different so do what you think is right. If you want to date an IB or an IG influencer then go for it! Still, I think it's detrimental to have "prerequisites" going into these types of things. 

One pet peeve I have with dating while working in the finance industry is people's careers being their ENTIRE personality. This is purely anecdotal but it's a big turn-off. Pride yourself on being successful, hard-working, and built on integrity and conviction. The finance bros will have their fair share of fruit but those relationships tend to fizzle out in the long run. 

Remember: You can't have your cake and eat it too. 

 

I try to not be too specific. Generally look for attractive ladies I vibe with. Couple things for sure:

  • on the same(ish) intellectual level: need to be able to have thoughtful conversations/discussions
  • not a gold digger
  • interest in health/fitness (want her to be healthy/fit long term)
  • similar hobbies / interests
  • (not a big deal) kind of in line with gold digger part, but from alt perspective: doesn’t come from a fam w/ too much money b.c don’t want lifestyle expectations set too high
 

- workout ability 

- knowledge of love

- no kids no divorces 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Not much. just three

1) I find her attractive

2) Easy to talk to

3) Not lazy (gettin her own shit together & care about about the ppl are her)

I don’t rlly care what her job (or potential job)is. She could be working at BX or a middle school teacher. I also don’t care about her political views or religious backgrounds, as long as shes not an extremest or a terrorist. You’d be surprised how rare those girls are. Im in college and I think I’m gonna be single forever.

 

What a shame. When I was in college in the early 2010s, everyone for the most part was fairly moderate (sometimes leaning more left and maybe more right but very rarely, extreme political views).

Agree that it shouldn't be an ice breaker. Know a soon to be parents who've dated since HS and both have very different political views. Never seemed to have caused a rift.

 
Most Helpful

Older poster here, happily married, together for 10 years. 
 

The one thing that really matters is finding someone with a good heart. That is 90% of it. My wife has so many good qualities that people always shoot for (funny, attractive, good career, etc) but the best quality by far is having a good heart.
 

What tipped me off early on was her friendships - she has a number of friends from all walks of life, both men and women, that really love and admire her. And these are really great people when I got to know them. Her girlfriends include both attractive and unattractive women, and her guy friends wives love her - it showed she was able to form strong relationships based on trust and character. 
 

Over time that’s the most important thing. She’s a really good person. She can’t help it - she always wants to do the right thing, act the right way, treat people well. Her internal moral compass is really strong. 
 

Number 2 is sense of humor. We crack each other up. 
 

Good luck out there folks. 

 

i'm genuinely not sure why anyone gave monkey shit to this comment because it is spot on. i'll even add on that everything said above also applies to finding friends and the people that you choose to be around.

 

As a younger guy this was pretty eye opening.

My criterion was that she should genuinely like me and that’s pretty hard as it is. With these added in, I’m fucked

 

blindinglights

due to every single girl wanting to be an influencer/only talking about it, what traits are you looking for in a girl that makes her stand out from 90% of the female population?

Not wanting to be an influencer

Next

incentives trumph ethics
 

Lack of emotional baggage. I know this might be wishful thinking but I’ve been with girls in the past with bad insecurities/past problems and I just don’t want to have to deal with it in the future.

 
Icahnic

Lack of emotional baggage. I know this might be wishful thinking but I've been with girls in the past with bad insecurities/past problems and I just don't want to have to deal with it in the future.

Yeah def. there are three types of people:

- those who have no emotional baggage 

- those who have emotional baggage but handle it 

- those who have emotional baggage and can’t handle it and it seeps out through their pores and all their being

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Honest communication and sexual compatability. You have to be willing to bring up topics even if they are sometimes uncomfortable as well as to listen in order for a relationship to grow.

Also would be nice if he's be into Black Mirror.

 
Kairo

Honest communication and sexual compatability. You have to be willing to bring up topics even if they are sometimes uncomfortable as well as to listen in order for a relationship to grow.

Also would be nice if he's be into Black Mirror.

You’re a girl?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎

Kairo

Honest communication and sexual compatability. You have to be willing to bring up topics even if they are sometimes uncomfortable as well as to listen in order for a relationship to grow.

Also would be nice if he's be into Black Mirror.

You're a girl?

Yes lol

 

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Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.
 

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Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

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