What are your most ridiculous breakup stories?
My buddy’s ex threw up all over him and I just don’t mean on his shirt or lap. Complete head to toe. Worst thing is she didn’t even clean up, she proceeded to get mad at him for not having the best reaction. left her shit for him to clean and still wanting him to apologize.
I broke up with one chick in NYC, then we got back together and she broke up with me. I booked a flight to Zurich to go to Lake Como and was at the airport hotel in Philly and she stopped me from going to Italy to get back together (she took a bus from NYC to the Philly airport), then we broke up again and it went down in flames even harder than before. The make up sex at the Philly airport hotel was so good she thanked me for it.
The first time I broke up with her at about 10pm at night and she called her mom who lived in Sarasota and her mom flew up to NYC and was there at 9am the next morning and negotiated for me to get back together with her daughter.
You always know how to entertain the crowd, Isaiah. They stories you have remain unmatched.
Wait is this the girl who also called the cops on you ?
No that was a different girl.
Fam, please give the timeline of these events lmaoooo
The girl above, I met her when I was 26 and she was 20 going to FIT. We met in 2009 and this happened in 2010.
One of the reasons she moved in with me, was she loved that I was an artist and loved this painting. When we broke up, I defaced it and left it on the street in the East Village. It had a solid frame. It was gone before dusk.
how did the mom negotiate you getting back with her?
She rationalized her daughter's actions in the relationship and promised me a PE interview if I stayed with her. She was an executive PE recruiter. She was very persuasive.
Had a friend back in college who was getting it on in a certain manner. He notices it looks like a chocolate bar down there after a bit, so he gets sick and throws up all over her back. She obviously starts crying realizing what happened. His roommate sees it and starts laughing so hard he rolls out of his top bunk and breaks his arm when he hits the floor. Obviously they broke up right after out of shame and embarassment. One of those truth is stranger than fiction moments.
😂😂 why was the roommate on the top bunk
Because that was his bed? He only looked once he heard her crying so loudly and a few swear words.
Intense
LMFAO the part where the roommate broke his arm
So I know a guy who tried to break up his consulting unit and the audit unit. They thought each units would fare better without the other, cuz no conflicts of interest. The audit unit would retain the old brand while the consulting unit would do for itself, but the guy still thought no problem cuz they had a strong base.
Even brought in several elite external breakup experts to advise on the breakup.
Breakup went down in flames.
I had a friend in college who was a bit of a dog. He was in a relationship but very much trying to fuck around. He employed the classic "save side chick's numbers as dude names in your phone" method but he was retarded and saving them as professional athlete's names. I'll never forget, it was summer but we were at our house and had a few people over watching game 6 of the Blackhawks vs. Flyers Stanley Cup finals.
Patrick Kane scores in OT to win the series and his girlfriend says "Patrick Kane, that's the same name as your friend from home". We all watch him tighten up and play it off... I think he even threw out a "yea haha we always bust his balls about that, common name though". Crisis averted.
The broadcast is working through the celebration festivities and they announce the Playoff MVP, Jonathan Toews. You can see his girlfriend's wheels turning in her head as she tries to reconcile how her boyfriend has been texting with multiple people sharing names with NHL players. They go off, she confronts him, he gives it up, they break up, and everyone enjoys a great chuckle at his expense.
I save mine as Gene Fama, Bill Sharpe, Harry Markowitz, Bill Ackman, Julian Robertson etc
C’mon the have to notice that’s bs
I'm technically still dating a girl from high school. We started dating one week and I left for a school trip. We texted/talked first few days, then she went radio silence. When I came home she had another boyfriend that she was dating and never spoke to me about it. We had like 4 classes together which made it extra weird.
My ex from college was batshit crazy. If you want an idea look up “dating a girl with borderline personality disorder.” She really had that grippy sock pussy. Anyways, I’m dating this girl for a little over a year and after all of her bullshit I was ready to break up with her, but since she was batshit crazy it was like defusing a bomb. We’re both home for winter break, she lives in New Jersey, I live in a state south of her and drive us to and from school in the Deep South, which means she was depending on me for the 14 hour drive back.
On NYE, I was with some of my best friends drinking and shooting the shit, and the topic of New Year resolutions come up. Obviously, my first priority was ditching the psycho that was blowing up my phone at that current moment. My friends vehemently despised this girl and encouraged me to dump her ASAP, so I decided to break up with her when we get back to school. Well, the clock strikes midnight and the demon continued blowing up my phone trying to start an argument over something minor. A switch flipped on in my head and the angel and devil on my shoulders both shouted “fuck that bitch!” So the next morning I dumped her ass via text and proceeded to block her on everything since she was non stop contacting me demanding that we stay together and whatnot; her dad even contacted me since he was now having to drive her to and from school (a cumulative 28 hours of driving). Eventually, we exchanged each others’ things and I thought that was it, but to this day she continues to text me from anonymous numbers with pictures of her kissing her gay friends to try and make me jealous.
Dating her was one of my worst decisions and toxicly dumping her was one of my best decisions. Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
When did this happen?
Couple of years ago
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