Hey all, a relatively junior monkey here. I was curious to hear, what is the biggest sacrifice you made for your career? Was it worth it? I especially thought this would be helpful to monkeys in earlier stages of their careers to learn more about the challenges and difficulties of working in a professional capacity over the long term.
This could be sacrifices you made that have had long repercussions on your personal life, being in the wrong industry/field which made exiting challenging, etc. Anything you would have done differently?
Hey therealgekko, I swear if I had a silver banana for every lonely thread I posted too I'd be richer than @compbanker ...
Or maybe the following WSO members have something to say: @Detroit0909" Anoiftset @Connor-Savage1"
Hope that helps.
I'm young, going to start full-time next summer. Biggest sacrifice so far would be deciding to move to another city after living in the same state/close to home all my life. Not necessarily for my sake, but as an only child, first-gen student, traditional culture of family, etc. I can see my parents are disheartened. They don't fully understand it (moving to a new city for more exposure/career advancement) but are happy for me. Mom has and definitely will cry though. Leaving all that behind for a city I know no one in... Come back in 5 years and I will have a wildly different response.
You are absolutely, 100% making the correct decision. I did the exact same thing and until I got my job in IB they were always telling me I could come back and build something there. The difference between where I grew up and even a tier 4 city is unreal. You gotta pursue the money and take the risks while you don't have a family to support.
Oh man this is going to be a sad thread
Nothing really tbh
I know I might get some shade for this and I dont blame people for completely disagreeing with me but I'm just gonna say it. Honestly biggest sacrifice I've made for my career was taking a job in my analyst program. The super long days plus weekends and the occasional all nighter have completely bitch slapped my social life and I've only been doing it for 4ish months. I am having trouble finding time to go to the gym, relax, or even sleep let alone finding new hobbies or hanging out with friends who all live within an hour of where I am now.
I'm sure there are people on here who work harder than I do but goddamn. Im not gonna burn out or anything cus im committed to a fulfilling career down the road but like fuck, I saw my best friend from high school no more than 5 times since I graduated (he is in a brutal profession as well) and my closest friend from my neighborhood is a city cop now and he works nights so forget about ever chillin or going out with him. I don't know how I'll ever find time to go visit friends from college living in NYC, Philly, DC, California, etc.
I don't mean to shit on banking or "high finance" and I know most of us here bust our asses in school/work to succeed in this industry and I don't wanna be the millionth person to bitch about this, but shit. I am trying to get my act together and be more efficient somehow but it aint easy. Gotta make the best of it I guess.
Stop saying "high finance." Sounds really dumb.
Why do you think I put it in quotes?
"High finance" has no set definition. So perhaps the quotations were an indication of the vagueness of the term.
Other than being late to parties, cancelling a few dates and ditching my old gf I haven't made any substantial sacrifices.
So far? Probably the biggest sacrifice was the decision to move across the pond. I had already moved to another city following graduation and it was already difficult for my parents (being from a very family oriented culture). Before I'd probably see them once every month, now I'm lucky if I see them twice a year, so they were quite gutted about it.
The same move abroad also cost me my 5+ year relationship, since extreme long distance just wasn't an option for us. But all in all, I found a more interesting opportunity that I believe would fast track my career, so no regrets so far
Cut the bitch loose when she complained about hours.
I castrated myself to reduce my sex drive and focus more of my attention on work and delivering value to my employer.
THIS IS THE WAYY!
bump
Minor one from me but not focusing on alternative career paths coming into college - it was IB/PE. Wish I had been more open and not made every decision based on how it would be perceived from a IB/PE recruitment stand point.
Wish I had studied my undergraduate degree in something I loved and looked at other options in research/tech sales etc etc... Again, very minor sacrifice but something I definitely reflect on
The real answer: people’s marriage/ relationship with their kids. It’s gradual, but occurs beyond repair at a point.
At the analyst level, I think it undeniably is dating/ relationships with friends.
It's a bit long, but there is no other way to tell it meaningfully.
When I was a few years out of school, I was desperately trying to break into my current career and pretty much grasping at straws given my background. At some point I was lucky enough to land a job that wasn't even my final destination but something that I suspected would give me the best chance to lateral into it ("it" being the principal side).
Long before accepting that job, I had already scheduled a two week trip overseas to visit my grandparents and relatives which fell maybe a month or two after my start date, and had discussed it with the managing partner (and also my direct supervisor) who seemed to be ok with it.
Fast forward to starting the job - the first few months were challenging to say the least. The guy had a unique way of pressuring you to feel like you had to really earn your keep day in and day out, that everyday you weren't fired should be considered a blessing. To paint a picture, people's aptitude, intelligence, and general character were all attacked and questioned in full earshot of everybody on a regular basis; posing the most innocuous questions could inadvertently trigger a blistering rant.
By the time my trip rolls around, I'm obviously pretty rattled - how could I possibly still go, let alone for two full weeks? But ultimately I was still able to take it and fully enjoy it (these were the days I was still able to take vacations while being completely freed from email obligations... which is now but a pipe dream, hah).
On the final night of my two week trip, my grandma had a minor stroke and was hospitalized. I rushed over immediately.
When I arrived at the hospital, I was relieved to find her fully conscious, talking, and in seemingly good shape. The doctors were all very optimistic toward a full recovery, which put us all at ease. With my flight being the next day, I was reluctant to leave and wanted to extend a day or two, but was also starting to become anxious about needing to get back. My folks were aware of my conflict and how stressed I was at the time regarding work - they reassured me that she would be fine and encouraged me to keep my flight, and ultimately I did.
On average, the flight back home takes about 16 hours. When I landed, I was shocked to learn that her condition took a drastic turn for the worse and that she'd slipped into a coma. At this time, all my family and relatives in the US were quickly making arrangements to go back where I just came from, and they urged me to do the same. But I was back at work, catching subtle grief from the bossman about taking a vacation just months into my employment, and feeling the heat again full blast. I was still in an extremely tight probation period. A return trip would have consumed nearly a full work week, and I simply couldn't fathom asking for that. I'm sure if I fully explained the situation he wouldn't have said no, but in my mind I'd be burning my bridges for all intents and purposes and I was already clinging to the job as a lifeline.
A few days later, I woke up to a text message from my mom saying that said my grandma's lungs had failed and that she was placed on life support. That night, I was at a bar waiting for a friend who was visiting when I got the text telling me that they'd made the terrible decision to take her off life support as there was effectively no chances of her being able to breathe unassisted going forward. Everyone was about to say their goodbyes, and they called me so I could say mine. I was the only family member not present.
It must have been an odd sight when my friend showed up to find me hunched over my drink crying by myself at the bar.
5 months later, my gamble paid off and I was ultimately able to leverage the highly unpleasant experience into the investment analyst position that I'd been struggling to get in the 2+ years since graduation. Despite all the brutal hours and doldrums of imposter syndrome in the years that followed, all the weekends spent at the desk and all the non-existent free time doing the cfa, all the estranged friends and all the missed events and celebrations and birthdays and all the relationships that fell apart, they all paled in comparison to my decision to stay. Staying was unequivocally the biggest sacrifice, and the one that hurt the most.
Thinking back on it, I barely remember details of the entire two week vacation outside of that final night, and it goes without saying that the events of the following week are still deeply etched into my mind.
Now obviously I realize this is an extreme example. I think most people would have done the rational thing and just flown back. But I felt like I was in such a pit in my career (or lack of) and the thought of falling through the cracks and never 'making it' terrified me more than anything else, all of which deluded my decision making.
From this experience, I've unfortunately developed a hard and unsympathetic shell toward those seeking to break into the industry and claim that they will do whatever it takes, never mind those who bemoan the long work hours. In my mind, I always wonder if they would do what I did at that point in time and under those circumstances.
You question if others would do the same, does that mean that you are proud of your choice and believe you made the right decision?
If so, I don't understand how you could be so hard on someone else as you also acknowledge the damage it has on your life?
Imagine getting fucked up emotionally and scarred for life for picking work over loved ones then turn around and want other people to choose the same shitty choice or otherwise deem them unworthy. You fucking bankers make me sick.
You sound flustered. I hope life is treating you well.
To be clear, posing the question of what others might have done in my situation is not meant as a challenge, never mind implying that I'd "want" others to do the same (seriously) - I genuinely wonder who on earth would have gone down the same decision making tree as I did, as I'd already expressed that I felt my decision making was deluded.
In any case, my own experience with sacrifice and "breaking in" fall so far outside of the bell curve of what I understand this typically entails that I'm ultimately unable to separate the two or view this in perspective; therefore I cannot possibly rationally empathize with anyone else on this subject.
[ITNAmatter] - I certainly am not proud of this decision (How could I be?) It was simply what I decided was necessary at the time, given the 'down and distance' of the situation. Was this the right decision? That is a bit harder to answer... and also outside the scope of this prompt!
signing a lease with s/o
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