Where do I go from the top?
So let's say I have a FT offer lined up in IB, and did an internship at a top tier consulting firm last summer. I am graduating from a top 10 school, with friends, a supportive family, etc. I don't know where to go from here.
I came into college looking to do pre-medicine, but didn't find it interesting and dropped it to study Economics and History. I thought I would enjoy business, as that's what seemed to grab everyone's attention. From my previous experiences in consulting, I found myself unable to really get into the project and life as much as I wanted to. I decided to do FT recruiting for IB instead, but find that the call of money right out of undergrad has clouded my direction... I mean who really wants to work 80+ hour weeks into my late 20s? I mean, the money's good, but the life sucks. It seems like all these jobs just are at best a treadmill of mediocre emotional states.
I feel psychologically trapped in an environment to pursue something with a highly prestigious title and "exit opps", whatever that means (I cannot see myself exiting to PE/ CorpDev, etc.), and high pay, as my friends, family, etc. have this idea and expectation of my high achieving self to always be the "best" and to work hard forever. I don't think I'm being "lazy"; I've always tried hard for what I want and achieved my goals one way or another, but at this point, it's just a question of what is the end goal? To spend my 20s working and trying to keep up with the expectations of my friends, family, and peers? To fulfill my own idea of what I've told myself would be "success"? Before someone says "oh you can pursue your dreams later", I just would add that there are plenty of people who can pursue happiness with much more time and not as much work, for less pay. The dichotomy of high pay and high stress and happiness vs unbearable suffering seems to be some weird mental prison so many of us are trapped in.
I feel like my humanity will actually escape my grasp if I continue and I'll just wake up at 45 with a range of physical and mental ailments, and no happier than I am now on this path.But what else can I even do? Just escape? Ironically, I find it a harder path to get out of this high achieving spot I'm in than to continue in it. Anyone else relate?
This sounds as insecurity being compensated with being a professional over-achiever.
Personally, I've also experienced that and my I've decided that there are a lot of branches in life (relationship, hobbies, sports, social interactions, travelling, studying, etc.) where you are under-achieving because of all your focus on your career. When you choose to spend one more hour into the office, it's a lost hour doing something else.
Instead of being an over-achiever and see your success related to your professional accomplishments, why don't be comfortable with working less hours compared to IB (not in finance) but dedicating all those hours too achieving and being the best in other things in life (maybe having an amazing relationship, learn to cook like a chef, etc.) which also require dedication? All the hours put into "prestige", are hours lost for living life and being a well-rounded human as your grandparents were (tell me how many bankers can do woodwork).
Not trying to get political nor philosophical, but in a capitalist society your trapped into your professional persona, how much money you make and your prestige (prestige is an indirect way of talking about wealth), so it's common that success will be tied with work (read: money). My definition of success is to be a well-rounded individual and experience anything which life has to offer: food, sports, relationships, nature and all the experiences which one can experience them for free but are worth millions.
exactly man. Even as a 1st year analyst I realize that job =/= life and one day I will die and I'm 100% sure I won't be looking back "oh damn I should've applied for GS and worked my ass off to become partner."
What makes you think you're at the top? You're literally at the bottom.
lol you work in real estate dude. this guy is at the top as far as you're concerned,
I'm in IB
An impressive combination of hubris and youthful stupidity to think you're at the "top" right now. You're quite literally at the bottom rung of a long career ladder with a bunch of different paths. There's no telling that you'll even succeed at this one since since by your own admission you just started. If you got into IB I'm assuming you at least understand what compound interest is - think of that but with knowledge and applied work experience and you should understand why working hard in your 20s is inarguably the best use of your time (how you balance that with a personal life is subjectively up to you). Focus on learning and working hard, not daydreaming about how you're on top when you've only just put on shoes to start the climb.
Completely agree. It's a funnel and you made it to level one. Everyone there is (for the most part) equally as hard working and intelligent. Don't pat yourself on the back too much yet. The funnel gets tighter and tighter going forward. On top of that, lots of people burn out. Kick ass for 20 years and then revisit your post. You'll find it hilariously naive.
Sounds like you're struggling with the fact that you don't know what your purpose is and you don't know what you want to do with your life. The great news is you are experiencing this now rather than 45, as you point out. This is a real gift as you could do 2 years of IB and be young enough to still pivot into literally anything else. Best case those 2 years of IB help you get the next thing and worst case is they don't, but you saved up a ton of cash anyway that will compound over the rest of your life if you're responsible. So nothing is off the table for you yet.
The other key "learning" for you is to throttle your own hubris. Ego will do you no favors. You are not at the top. The top isn't "who has a sought after job by certain college students who also want that job". The top is "who has most successfully built the life they want to live, whatever that may be". To be blunt, you are in no way at the top if you are having an existential crisis at age ~22.
This is your life telling you that you may not be heading where you want to go. You need to do some soul searching to figure out what that is and then sketch out a 5 year plan as best you can and figure out how you want to pivot. You are still on campus for a month or so so I would scramble to take advantage of your time and campus resources to explore any other potential careers that may be of interest. Be systematic about it to use your time well. Make a list of options and design your criteria (you already know lifestyle should be one of them), have real conversations with folks, do informational interviews, etc., etc. Maybe you find you want to be in tech, consulting, or medicine after all. Maybe you find that nothing really interests you functionally but you do passionately love sports or media or education or something and so your dream becomes working at one of the banks/PE/HF that's active in that niche. You get the idea.
Philanthropy. But you're not there yet.
There's actually no point in your career where you can't do philantropy. Even if you're broke, you can volunteer your time.
My friend just got CEO of a company and before I clicked on this thread I thought you got CEO too.
how to invest in yourself: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/off-topic/investing-in-yourself-h…
on the above, I recommend doing it anytime you feel internal tension in your life. address your wheel. you have parts of your wheel taken care of, but not all. take inventory, be deeply honest with yourself, and map out a plan to work on it. when you get stuck (because you will), humbly turn to confidants and ask for their input
my method: every 2 years, write out what you want your life to look like in 5 and 10 years. it will change, but forcing yourself to get specific will give you something to work towards as well as a sanity check if the goals aren't attainable in that time frame or if you need a massive course correction (e.g I want to do tech banking but I'm in energy PE right now, probably need to move to SF or NYC at a minimum). alternatively, another way to simply tell if you're on the wrong path is to look at people who were in your position X years ago and see where they are now. do you enjoy what's up the ladder for you? if so, keep grinding. if you don't? get on a different latter before it's too late
happiness is a constant pursuit, so as cliche as this sounds (because it is cliche) I've never found happiness when I consider a goal "achieved," I find it in the process and in the reflection of the process.
and to buy you time because everyone has to shovel shit for a while before they're independent, write down what a perfect day would look like for you (and no I don't mean a fellatio merry go round with the VS angels, I mean something somewhat realistic) and your passions will appear. with some intentionality and lack of giving a fuck about appearances, you should be able to insert a miniscule amount of that into even the most demanding schedules. I had a buddy at lehman in levfin (busy group as you might imagine) who still found time to do what he enjoyed (same as me, surf) while holding down a job. just had to turn down going out all the time and everything that came with that.
happy to continue answering here or via PM, best of luck
Aside from personal development goals (as others mentioned, to get to where you are you have probably had to make sacrifices in terms of exercise / reading / expanding social networks / travelling / spending time with family / SO), there are several professional goals you can still work on.
Early 20s is full of jumping through hoops and going between top firms / getting to PE / HF / etc if that's what you want. But once you make it past that, you need to provide actual value to keep being the "best." Look at how much Bill Gates / Warren Buffett / the average F500 CEO reads on a regular basis -- and they're super late in their careers. Assume you go down the investing route and kill it and are a MF PE partner or have your own HF; your professional success then is directly based based on how wide and deep your network is, on how much money you can raise, and whether you can actually deploy your capital effectively. These things are much much harder than graduating from a T10 and landing a banking job, where the path is relatively clear and you just need to put in the time. From an IB perspective -- your success as a partner will be entirely based on your network and how much you can source and manage your relationships. All of these skillsets take time to develop, and right now you're at step 0 in relation to those skillsets. If you truly want to be the best of the best professionally over your career, now's a great time to start diving deeper into 10Ks and books or taking advantage of your personal / alumni networks and just meeting more people.
you work in real estate dude.
Imagine thinking you're at the top lmaoo
lmao this is the funniest post I have seen on here 😂😂😂😂
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