Worst Catfish Stories

Happened while I was in community college back in CA (around 2014 or so) and remember it because of the absurdity of how I ended the “date.”

Lived near Redondo Beach and drove out to Santa Monica to meet with a visiting European girl whom I had matched with. If you’re familiar with SoCal, traffic is brutal and was about a 45-60 minute drive even at 9pm after I had gotten off work. Show up at the hotel she’s staying at, wait around for a bit, and she texts me she’s on her way down. Sitting in my truck as I see an older dude checking out and approaching my truck, which felt a bit weird since I had let her know what car I was arriving in and a lot of thoughts were going through my head at this point (“did I get catfished by a man?”). Had my window rolled down and the guy asks if I’m so-and-so, to which I reply ya, and so he gets in….

He says he’s the girls brother and she’s coming out now. Ok… really odd but maybe he’ll leave when she gets here? Anyways, she comes out, and of course she’s not anything like what her profile showed (least surprising thing at this point). Original plan was to go blaze by the beach somewhere so she asks if that’s still ok (brother still in the truck like he’s chaperoning). I respond with “sure, just have to check I packed my bong” which I always had under my back seat. 
 

We’re still in the parking lot at this point. I get out, “check” to see if I still have my get high pack, knowing full well I do, but giving me time to think about next steps. This is what my dumbass 19/20yo mind came up: “I need to make it so we can’t smoke -> therefore the date can’t happen anymore -> only option is to break my bong.”

Yup. Opened the backpack it was in, dropped it right there on the pavement, acted overly bummed but told them we can’t smoke anymore. They try and say we can just roll a spliff or something but I tell them no longer in the mood and I need to leave. Not exactly sure of the conversation after that point, but they eventually got out, and I drove off. Stopped at a smoke shop on the way back, blazed, and finally realized I’m an idiot for going through all that.. Like why did I have to break a bong? Guess I should have cut back on the weed lol

TLDR: Matched with hot European gal, guy comes out instead. Turns out guy is the girls brother, wants to come along to smoke my weed, girl ends up being the typical catfish, and I break my bong to get out of it. Still got high.