Best GE/UMM/MF for Pay::Culture/WLB/Perks

At a top group with my choice of PE exits, and comfortable networking for going my own way.
Any combo of the below is fine, just listing things I want (add good ones in comments and I’ll edit post)

Looking for:
Location: NYC or good weather (CA, FL, TX, etc)
No MBA for promotion (not dealbreaker though)
Pay: Looking for at least 300 all in, even if there’s WLB improvement I’d stick to banking for the sign on etc at EB. Less than that and I wouldn’t be happy, because of taxes and low net. For a non major hub city, think 150 net after taxes and major expenses (rent food travel etc) to make up for being in bumblefuck
Co-Invest: Leveraged coin vest a plus
Perks: Can order food earlier (like 6, not be an after 8 thing), sponsored firm trips (e.g. skiing in winter or yacht / PJ trips in summer), firm happy hours or other social events and activities, free stuff like tech, catered lunch and breakfast, gym stipends, good health insurance etc

Big caveat for below: mainly just seniors who actually even pretend to give a shit and/ or put effort to minimize BS.
Culture and Hours: Looking for acceptance of flexible WFH / leaving office early as well as top down attitude of being able to work for these people. I’m talking about an 80-100 hours that’s alongside understanding and generally well meaning people (sleep in after a long night if no pressing work), not annoying fucks who make you do useless shit all the time and require FaceTime if you’re not doing anything. Also, relaxed dress code and such things are a perk. Encouraging people to take some time for the gym during the week. Allowing people room to have real weekends for non fire drills (and not creating them unnecessarily). Real unplugged vacations. Less stuffy on federal holidays, etc.

Does this exist anywhere?

 

1. Looking for at least 300 all in

2. Co-Invest: Leveraged coin vest a plus
3. Perks: Can order food earlier
4. Sponsored firm trips (e.g. skiing in winter or yacht / PJ trips in summer)
5. Culture
6. Hours: Looking for acceptance of flexible WFH / leaving office early
7. who make you do useless shit all the time
8. Encouraging people to take some time for the gym during the week
9. Allowing people room to have real weekends
10. Real unplugged vacations
11. Less stuffy on federal holidays, etc.

In order (and when I say unimportant, I mean that these will not bear materially on your job satisfaction when all is said and done):

  1. Common
  2. Rare
  3. Rare, unimportant
  4. Common, unimportant 
  5. Rare, important
  6. Unsure if common or rare but most places can usually get the baseline of what you want here after building trust
  7. Omnipresent
  8. Common (during slow periods), important
  9. Rare at firms you have in mind, important
  10. Uncommon but not rare, important
  11. Unsure (my guess is uncommon), important

If you are asking if all of these exist neatly in one perfect firm that pays well with amazing culture and benefits, the answer is no. Closest I can think of are Genstar and Bain, but Bain doesn't fit your geo.

 
Most Helpful

If into tech, go Insight Partners! Pays in line with MF with ton of carry + deal carry, 60h workweeks, people are super nice and chill, no one tracks your movements so you can grab dinner on any week night or go to gym any time you want. Dress code is chill, tshirt and sneakers. All your meals are paid for on corporate card (lunch and dinner). Also 3 weeks off (firm closures) for 4th July, Labor Day and Christmas, all federal holidays fully off, + personal PTO is plugged off

 

I want to believe this but I don’t see how it could all be true. They have a fairly high headcount (even with the large AUM) and junior to mid level employees seem to span a wide range of backgrounds, not just the typical IB / PE folks, which would seem to suggest they shouldn’t need to be paying in-line with MF PE comp. Would be thrilled to be proved wrong, seems like the dream job as described

 

do juniors have input into the verticals they get to focus on?

i.e. e-commerce over crypto or are you just staffed randomly?

 

What group were they in? Strategic Capital (Private Debt Special Sits) and Fundamental Strategies & HealthCare are in SF

 

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