Burned Out - Quitting w/o an offer?

Currently burned out in PE and ready to jump ship. Been at my fund for about 3 years and think it's pretty unlikely I'll make it through to bonuses, so I'm seriously considering resigning asap. Conventional wisdom regarding any job is that you should have another offer lined up prior to leaving, but candidly I'm tired of the late nights and endless iterations of IC materials, and I don't have much interest in starting work immediately at another fund/bank in the industry. 

From reading other threads on here, it seems like the usual advice is to try to collect as many paychecks as you can, push back on work, and stay employed for as long as possible until you set something else up. However, I feel that I'm at a small enough shop where pushback is easily recognized as BS, and any additional pushback beyond what I'm already doing (i.e., unresponsive to emails past 8pm/weekends, careless work, pushing deadlines, etc.) could end up getting me fired. For additional context on the situation, I have about $200k in savings and more than enough to cover a very frugal lifestyle. Frankly I'm less concerned about paying the bills, and more concerned with the optics of a large gap in my resume if I can't/don't want to find another finance job immediately.

With all that in mind, does anyone have advice on how to navigate an abrupt exit from PE with no plan about next steps? Is it better to leave somewhat gracefully on your own terms, or continue to tread the fine line of getting fired because your work quality suffers significantly while job hunting/progressively burning out further? Curious to hear other users' experience with managing that transition, especially in the private equity world where there's less bureaucracy and seniors have more visibility into the day to day workloads of the associates.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

I left a job without anything lined up as I was severely burnt out - I was fortunate enough to have a strong set of references from a past role to advocate for me / counter any red flags from the gap on my resume. 

If you need to do it, do it, but make sure you go in eyes wide open and with a good plan to back it (can you count on colleagues that will still serve as references, do you have a contingency plan if recruiting takes longer, does your story check out with recruiters, etc.). I would highly suggest treading the line of getting fired and milking your current gig as long as you can.  It's hard to get in that mindset if you've been a type A person your whole life, but far easier / less stress in terms of choosing a next gig.  Recruiting from a place of desperation can cloud your judgement and you want to land at spot you'll be happier with. 

 
Most Helpful

Been there mentally. I'm sorry you feel this way. If you look through this forum, you'll see many are feeling the same or have been there. Have followed this forum for years and anecdotally think the volume of burnout and mental health crises posts has DRAMATICALLY gone up over the past 2 years with this pandemic period.

I know it seems impossible, but consider trying to line up the next job and negotiating some space in between. That is probably optimal. Try therapy to help keep you  sane while you recruit.

If that still feels impossible, also consider going to your firm and working out the exit a bit. "Hey - I've come to recognize that this really isn't for me and it is time for me to pursue another opportunity. However, professionally I would never want to leave you in a lurch and so how about we work out a mutually agreeable period where I roll off my projects, I'm allowed to recruit with good recs, and you get time to backfill my role." Might be able to salvage your bonus or at least your rep / not burn bridge. Some risk to that approach too for sure - so definitely think it through, only you know your firm, not us - but I think that would lead to a better outcome for both parties than you quitting outright.

Best of luck. 

 

If possible, this seems like the best way to exit. You will obviously forgo any type of bonus, so broach this topic once you get that bonus check.

Telling them your mental health is low and need to leave, but also you don’t want them to be unexpectedly short staffed.

However.

Be prepared for them to let you go immediately. Some firms just want you out when you let them know you don’t wanna be there long term.

200k isn’t a lot, especially if you have a mortgage or family or live in a tier 1 city, so be ready to live frugally if needed.

 

Thanks man, I really appreciate the thoughtful response, as well as everyone else who chimed in. I'm now a few weeks past the original post date, and I'm recognizing that my best option is probably to negotiate my exit. Do you or others have experience with colleagues who have successfully managed to have that conversation without being told to leave on the spot? As you noted, I'm a bit concerned that I'm told to leave immediately, which forces my hand a bit. However, I'm definitely at a point mentally where I don't see myself staying even 1-2 months longer with my current workload plus the added burden of recruiting. I'm also finding it pretty challenging too to motivate myself to grind through weekends when I know I won't be seeing that bonus check..

 

Person you're replying to. Ultimately there is no real way to control how they react. They may just let you go on the spot as others pointed out no matter how politely or professionally you lay out your need to step back. So I think if you are truly, 100% certain that this is the only path for you - you have to be comfortable with an ugly exit as a possibility. I unfortunately have no way of coaching you better as I just don't know if that possibility is 1%, 10%, 50%, or 100% - only you have the full context.

Another option here is you just go for some time off to clear your head. You can say you need 3 weeks off for medical leave. Based on where your mental health is, that wouldn't be disingenuous and people will not ask questions. Or maybe better you can be upfront about it and just outright say "I need time off". You should only do this if you plan to complete the end of your program. If I were your manager, and you told me you needed some time, I would respect it completely and give you that space. If you did it and then still quit early after coming back, it would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Only you know what's best for you so it wouldn't be appropriate for me to give real "advice", just to help you consider options and make your own choice. The only thing I do feel very strongly about from my original post is that you do everything to fix your mental health regardless of quitting or not...go to therapy, exercise, sleep, throttle drinking, etc. You should definitely do that regardless of what you decide to do here, and you should start now. At minimum it will help you get out of what you're feeling faster and at maximum it will teach you a life skill of managing these types of experiences. If you are an overachiever (which you probably are if you've made it here), this is unlikely to be the last time in your life you experience something like this (though I hope it's never as severe).

 

OP - I was in your shoes a year ago.

I had been at a different role on the buy-side for a while, but the people generally sucked, the work was not fulfilling, and the comp was low. Mental health had taken a massive hit, and I decided to leave without a gig lined up, traveled for a while, and met my significant other during this period. What helped me through this period was talking to family and friends and disconnecting from the news, finance, etc.

I would 100% recommend prioritizing your mental health; however, definitively try to leave without burning bridges and be ready to go the day you give your two weeks. Also highly recommend living frugally during this period, but not to the point that you hurt your mental health further. Mentally prepare for 6-8 months of expenses to be wiped out from your net worth.

Everything worked fine for me, and I am sure it will work for you as well.

Good luck!

 

I'm with you. I've been at my fund over a decade and am deciding to leave behind significant carry because I can't take the lifestyle anymore and want to reprioritize my life.  I think you are making the right choice because the job absolutely does not get easier anytime soon. I have a lot of irons in the fire, hoping for one to hit or may just take a few months to travel and explore some hobbies before jumping back into it. 

 

Did you end up leaving? I recently left PE to go back to IB and am in a very sleepy group but still get paid market. I make more than I've made p.a. now but I am bored out of my mind... I have a good friend who recently raised ~$100mm and is asking me to come over and be the first associate hire for less cash comp and more hours worked than my current situation. Carry is TBD. For whatever reason, I am tempted to go for it. What I hated about my first fund and dislike about my current gig syncs in that both firms are large. The idea of helping build a fund from the ground up is enticing and I think I would enjoy it but it feels goofy to leave my current gig because it is exactly what I thought I wanted when I left my first PE firm.

What do I do?

 

You lay out what specifically you’re looking for in the short term and long term. You see how well your current job and this future job match up with that. If you start to lean toward the future job you get really honest about if it’s something backable or not and more important if it’s something you actually want to do (not just think that starting someone sounds cool). You do a ton of homework getting to know those answers by talking to people who’ve done something similar, which leads to the real set of questions and considerations you should have been asking, but didn’t know to.
 

you do all of this on paper and not in your head.

you reach your preliminary decision - but it’s just a hypothesis at this point.

You talk to people who would actually have a POV and who you respect and trust (NOT anonymous people on a forum where some people are tenured professionals and others are high school students, and there’s no way to tell for sure). You ask them to challenge your hypothesis. You see if that changes your answer or just builds your conviction.

then you make the call with the confidence of a thoughtful decision and you commit to never letting yourself regret it regardless of the outcome. After all, you made the best decision you could at the time.

 

Interesting a couple versions of this topic have come up recently. TLDR I left PE and took a couple months gap a couple years ago, don't really regret it professionally and personally I had a really chill nice time but it does get old after a bit. I was leaving the industry so IDK if that changes the way you view things. There just aren't that many times in your life when you have the means to live comfortably and also just have minimal worries.

I also know at least 2 people VP+ who work 3-5 years and then take a planned 1 year break, with a couple cycles of this. 

Obviously there is risk though, and it's definitely easier to get a job when you have one.

 

I'd be cautious with this. I've known people who have done this and ended up okay in HF/AM roles but PE is a different animal. It's very reputation focused and there are other constituents involved - PortCo C-suite, lenders, intermediaries, co-investors, LPs, etc. Yes the GP won't be able to say anything other than "so and so is taking a two-month medical leave" but it's still awkward and these people often email and call directly. 

 

I was in this position a few years ago due to not only burnout from my role at that time but also a personal situation with family. Took some time off from work with medical leave and, after coming back to work, decided to just leave with no new role lined up (to the surprise of my employer). Thought I would be out of work for a few weeks at most and instead ended being 8-9 months.

Would recommend being frugal where you can with your savings (as my savings were nowhere close to the amount you had and I did what I could to manage to get by). Use the time you have now to begin considering what matters most to you and what kind of roles you would be interested in pursuing. As others have echoed, it is ideal to not leave without a role lined up but sometimes it can be the only option for your physical and mental wellbeing.

In the end for me, it worked out for the best given where I am in my career today (I was fortunate to be in the rare instance where I was able to effectively obtain a promotion with the new job from the prior role I left, which is a different story for a different day).

 

If you're not looking to go back into PE, quitting without an offer is a lot less risky than it sounds. Seriously, most places you might be looking to exit to (startups, corp dev, corp fin, etc.) won't care if you spent 3-6 months without a job. In fact, if you spent that time doing something cool (backpacking around the world, learning to surf in Hawaii, shit like that), interviewers would probably just be jealous. Most of them probably wish they had done something like that themselves.

Remember that with $200k in the bank you are in a better financial position than 99% of people in their mid-20s. You can afford to take a few months to figure things out and do your own thing. 

Feel free to DM me. I know a few people who have been in your position and done this. 

 

I totally get if switching jobs is the right move but I sort of push back on this idea of raw time off with nothing lined up being truly healing. That sounds like an incredibly stressful time period where once the novelty wears off you're stressing about getting the next gig, what the next gig would be, fear you damaged your career, etc. I'm not fully convinced it's a mental health solution you're looking for, though it sounds like other comments above me have had good experiences with it.

 

Not relevant in any way. Having a year off with no plan and no stress is excellent.  I had several planned gaps like this and they were some of the best times of my life.
 

Entering unemployment while in a bad metal headspace is a completely different situation.  I went through this. Was one of the worst times of my life.

 

This was my experience.  I left a very high paying job on good terms bc I was super burned out. Didn’t have obvious exit opps - so I had thought the time off would help rejuvenate me and help clear my head to decide what was next. Money wasn’t an issue at all - but the time off ended up being super stressful.

It def takes a lot longer to land a job while you don’t have one - and even though rationally I knew it wasn’t true - it often felt like I would never find a good situation to go to next.  I also beat myself up for all the decisions that led me to the spot I was in.

Caveat is that I had some extenuating circumstances that added stress to the situation (just married, trying for kids, and bad local job market) - so my experience may not be representative.
 

OP - you’re younger than I was and the job market is as hot as the sun.  You could end up having a rejuvenating time off and it will help you get your next gig.
 

But if I was you I’d do everything you can to try to land something before quitting - and negotiate some some off in between.  It may seem hard to pull off given your headspace and maybe you ultimately can’t pull it off - but it’s worth the effort to take a shot now bc:

1) your time off may end up being much more stesssful than you expect and it may affect your confidence in getting your next job

2) if you are looking for a job while employed it will be 10000x easier to explain why you are looking and they will be sensitive to not contact your current work (you get to craft your story without the potential that they reach out to the company)

3) if you are unemployed you’ll have to explain why you left your last job - without waiving red flags or sounding bitter or trashing your former employer (never a good look).  And they can contact your prior job to see if stories match up.  It’s a really really tough feat to pull off.

BTW - everything turned out fine for me, I’m good - in a great headspace at my current gig so it all works out.  But man I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did.

 

Just remember, life is no use unless you're having fun. If you're three years into a gig, you can confidently say it's not going to get better for you there and I'd get out now. You clearly have the aptitude and are smart enough to have landed a PE job as an analyst so trust in yourself and get out while you have your sanity. Finding a job may be more challenging if you aren't currently employed, that much is true, but it's certainly more than doable. I did it myself.

Sounds like you don't really like PE in general so I think if you craft a solid narrative for why you left your role and recruit into other finance roles / industry, you should have zero issue landing a new gig. You also have more than enough in the bank to hold you over for a few months (even a couple years if you're in a low CoL city) so don't let eating into a bit of your savings be the reason you continue to be in a mentally poor place. The money will come later and you'd much rather be happy while earning than being miserable.

 

Totally agree. Hard to say as it's so subjective but one could also argue that getting out of a toxic/draining job could help you find a better gig with a clear mind. I guess it definitely depends on whether said bad mental space is drawn from just your work experience or whether its something broader.

 

Depending on your mental health the burnt out feeling may be a symptom of other things going on. Either way talking to a professional before making any life altering decision is always a good approach.

 

Did this at the end of 2020. Firm brought in a new head that was a literal psychopath halfway through my tenure there - worst person I've ever worked w/ in any professional setting. Was amazing. As long as you have a good story and are ok financially, not a bad move. Was able to better focus on securing my next gig too instead of trying to juggle intense interviewing while still working FT.

 
Funniest

Voluptatum voluptas eum occaecati. Et officiis sunt repudiandae quae incidunt ex. Ea nemo nam voluptas aut vitae esse quis ut. Inventore mollitia consectetur explicabo iure voluptatem. Perferendis quam odit veniam optio velit nisi sequi. Voluptatem sint ipsam deserunt ipsum ea.

Accusantium delectus qui quia assumenda fugiat quos facilis. Quo minima iusto molestias.

 

Odio fugiat odio laboriosam voluptatem aperiam consequuntur corrupti. Excepturi qui consequuntur quos nihil cum ut quaerat laboriosam. Dicta odit perspiciatis cupiditate. Aut saepe ad eum sunt optio maxime fuga. Est aut ut laboriosam. Quam qui odit dolorem. Dolor magnam nulla ipsam fugiat magnam autem soluta quisquam.

Perspiciatis molestiae ullam deserunt a libero eligendi in. Est minus mollitia maxime mollitia. Qui esse id perferendis debitis voluptas eos neque. Neque nesciunt et aliquam laudantium nihil molestiae. Rem voluptatem rem rem ipsum. Hic architecto doloribus dignissimos deleniti delectus aliquam.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.5%
  • Warburg Pincus 99.0%
  • Blackstone Group 98.4%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 97.9%
  • Bain Capital 97.4%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.5%
  • Blackstone Group 98.9%
  • KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts) 98.4%
  • Ardian 97.9%
  • Bain Capital 97.4%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Private Equity

  • The Riverside Company 99.5%
  • Bain Capital 99.0%
  • Blackstone Group 98.4%
  • Warburg Pincus 97.9%
  • Starwood Capital Group 97.4%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Private Equity

  • Principal (9) $653
  • Director/MD (21) $586
  • Vice President (92) $362
  • 3rd+ Year Associate (89) $280
  • 2nd Year Associate (204) $268
  • 1st Year Associate (386) $229
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (28) $157
  • 2nd Year Analyst (83) $134
  • 1st Year Analyst (246) $122
  • Intern/Summer Associate (32) $82
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (313) $59
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”