Coming off as more mature as PE associate

Curious if anyone has any tips for coming off as more senior/mature. I’m a 2nd-year associate at a buyout shop and have received feedback that I sometimes come across as being fresh out of school. My firm’s culture is pretty icy and sharp-elbowed, so I feel pressure to carry myself as someone who's a bit older to fit in if that makes sense.

I’m naturally more laid-back outside of work / most of my friends are in their mid 20s and hitting the bars all the time, so any tips on striking the right balance between being myself and not coming off as the "kid" of the group would be greatly appreciated. Would be particularly helpful to hear from anyone who's recently made the Sr. Associate to VP transition. 

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The same personality could help once you’re higher up? at my firm the MDs with quickly more laid back personalities win most of the deals versus the cookie cutter ones. No CEO wants to interact daily with a NPC.

I am also the least type A at my firm. Things I do to come of more serious is walk faster at random points of the day, always be dressed up, hold longer eye contact when im bored and someone is explaining something. I also stay at lunch for 10 mins or shorter periods of time where I can be my true self in small doses.

If it makes you feel any better we hired someone who complained about “not having maids” outside of Asia because we thought that was funny. You’ll find your people!

 

It seems people are recommending being well-dressed and acting serious throughout, i.e. none of the typical banking bullpen fun, also given you’re interacting with older people on average.

How does this change at social events, ie. Ski trip or team Christmas dinner?

Do you feel there are genuine workplace friendships like in banking or is it all more competitive given less promotions?

And do you have any other recommendations on how to come across more senior when presenting or on email?

 

Some generic comments w/o knowing exactly what your firm is calling out:

  • Language is probably the most common thing I see that makes people come off as younger, both in person and over text. Are you using words like "vibes" or saying "no cap", or typing out shorthand like "rn" for right now? Overly using "like" when you speak?
  • If somebody asks what you're doing on the weekends, how much and what are you sharing? Don't actually say you are constantly hitting the bars with your buddies
  • Internalizing emotions a bit and not having overly decipherable reactions to both good and bad things at work
 
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