Feeling Defeated

I've been in the process with a PE/VC firm for the past 4 months or so and things looked very promising throughout the whole process and especially at the end. I truly loved this team and everyone I met throughout the process. knew once I reached out to HR myself only disappointing news would follow and so it did. I just feel very numb and defeated because this was the one position and process that I truly enjoyed every step of the way and really felt a part of the team/ things looked extremely promising. They said it was a very difficult decision and ultimately went with someone that had more specific experience. Will it always be like this? Despite my efforts to come up the curve in my personal time and self teach through courses, nothing seems to be enough.

Comments (8)

Most Helpful
rabbit, what's your opinion? Comment below:

That sucks, I'm sorry. I know these kinds of situations feel very defeating. 

Honestly, you win some you lose some, and sometimes it's really not you, or anything you did/didn't do during interviews and the process. It's just the way of the world. Luck, timing, competition and a ton of other factors outside your control will matter.  

I know it's easier said than done, and some of these pills are super hard to swallow. If you feel like you put your best foot forward, you should hold your head up high. Ask yourself what you could have done better / different and take that lesson to the next one. It's so cheesy to hear all the time, but learning to take failure in stride is soooo important. 

  • VP in PE - LBOs

100% this. Sometimes it's just luck and timing. 

It really isn't that you're "not good enough". It could just be because at this recruiting cycle, there was someone that was just *slightly* better than you or just *slightly* left a better impression, but if it were any other recruiting cycle, that other candidate wouldn't be looking for a role or has already gotten an offer elsewhere, and so the offer would've gone to you.

Happened to me multiple times too. But if you're good enough to get to the final round with a good firm, you will eventually land something. Just have to keep trying.

With most things in life, it is just luck. The only way to get luckier is to keep trying. 

  • 3
anon6414, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Just had something similar happen. Was told I outperformed the other candidate in every round and scored higher in all metrics, but they gave the offer to them anyway (which frankly sounds like code for "nepotism hire"). What I've learned through multiple job searches during my career is that the process is very close to random. You'll have scenarios like these, ones where the company just gets too distracted to ever complete the hiring process (had that happen recently as well), you name it. My own boss, for example, has run multiple hiring processes nearly to completion only to change his mind at the last second and scrap the whole thing. May as well just get back out there and try again. 

  • Associate 1 in IB-M&A

Yup - having now sat on the other end (conducting interviews and being part of the mini-"committee" selecting candidates), it's terrifying when you realize just how random it is.

"Her answers sounded too prepared"

"I feel like he is overqualified and would leave for somewhere else after 6 months"

"His answers were good but he showed up the Zoom without a suit and tie"

Then you have that one guy on your team who is weirdly antipathic towards this one specific candidate (who others like), and you just ding the candidate instead of getting your colleague upset with you. 

  • Intern in IB - Gen

Damn, I got the exact same comment for 4/5 of the interviews

It really sucks

  • Intern in IB - Gen

Same here, have a unique background in banking with 2 years of experience.

The project turns sour and I was forced to go, my skill is not transferable to any traditional banking rol, while too junior for the role that needs my skills.

Have been to more than 10 interviews in the last few months (I make a 100% rate to the final interview if they arrange the first interview with me) but got 0 offer

Feels like I will never land anything

Restless, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's not in your control. Just do the most of your time meanwhile you find the next opportunity, that's the least you can do. Best case you'll end up finding something that fits you and also be proud of yourself for using at maximum this 'free' time. Don't ruminate it, you'll only drain yourself from energy that can be used for better things. 

  • VP in PE - LBOs

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