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Thank you all for comments! Closing the topic. Hopefully, the situation will be resolved soon one way or another.
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Why would they give you a negative reference? I’d personally take the two years of income vs “maybe” getting promoted. You’d have two years to figure something out while also still doing your IB deals.
This might be a left field take but if feels like whoever at your firm is making this call has a compliance / scared of their LP mindset rather than seeing the big picture.
If what you're saying is correct and there is no overlap/conflict here, then I fail to see how your advisory business negatively impact the fund or the LPs. Asking for 50% of your earnings so they aren't "material" is punitive and doesn't pass my sniff test. Feels like they are using fear and threat of blackmail to manipulate you / bend you to their will so they get paid..
I feel if they were acting in good faith they would not have an issue and, if anything, look at how they might be able to assist you in growing out this advisory practice and taking a stake, rather than forcing you to shut this. Seems like they are threatening you so you stay as an employee, dangle the potential carrot of promotion. Even the discussion of promotion is done in a gaslighting way, you might get promoted, but if you don't, it's your fault for not advising them about a nonexistent conflict or unlikely windfall.
I might be off the mark, but from my interpretation of this post I would take the option to leave over staying with a firm that treats their people like this.
It sucks that you're in a smaller EM and they feel they can use the threat of a negative reference, however if you're the sort of person who has the grit to do this side hustle I'd echo the above poster and believe you'd be better finding another role / figuring it out with the opportunity cost runway of 2 years.
This is absolutely detached with how any established fund manager operates and the firm not "seeing the bigger picture" is their proposed in-between solution that tries to retroactively reduce the severity of the conduct issue. Moonlighting as an M&A banker while working at a PE fund, even if on unrelated sectors/deals, is probably as close to an outside business conflict you can get besides actual self-dealing.
There is realistically only one option: to quit before this issue becomes a bigger deal than it already is and preferable to either of the two solutions given to OP by their fund. Plenty of ways to transition to an independent advisory practice while retaining a relationship with your fund (you could sign them up as a client, work as their advisor/venture partner, etc.) but the way OP went about it it was bound to be a disaster.
The fact that your firm reacted this way instead of congratulating you for doing something really cool tells you everything you need to know. I’d leave if I were you.
Lol fuck that noise.
what possible “negative reference” could they give you that would overshadow you ballin out and closing deals on your own. Nobody hiring you will give a shit.
unless of course you are lying and there is actually a conflict. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case based on what you are saying.
The water is too polluted after this. Their resentment is going to grow and they aren’t likely to promote you. You have to leave. Good luck to you. You’ll find something better
Ball so hard muthafuckas wanna fine you. What's fifty grand to a muthafucka like you, can you please remind me?
Closed
This is getting really weird. You honestly sound really weak and needy for a VP. Are you really the firm, posing as a VP, trying to get information for the negotiation? What is this try to keep it balanced? Is this an intellectual exercise, a hypothetical? Is this a troll post?
People here are missing the EM portion. How many other similar sized funds in your city or another one you can move to?
how likely to keep paying your bills with IB - do you have an originations pipe?
To the poster who said HR can’t disclose etc. I think he’ll be asked for actual IPs as references. And what happens in the US may not be the norm.
the case for staying would be if you reasonably believe (assuming no promotion for now) that the lifetime value would be higher.
how many years savings do you have and did the IB fee pay you 4 years of pe firm comp?
Closed
Leave asap, you made your choice and they made their choice. Negative reference…”yah the dude crushed their work for us, and apparently closed a deal 2x his salary while working weekends. Clearly you do want this employee.”
Bet on yourself and leave. You basically were paid a 2 year advance to give you an opportunity to either find a new job or start your own advisory firm. Staying is a beta move and you will build resentment.