Why are PE people so socially akward/cold?

Coming from consulting (MBB) some thing really boggle my mind. Is this banking culture? Observations: 

  • On calls with people (even external i.e., advisors, mgmt. teams/calls, etc.) people will dial in and turn their cam off - even MDs even when talking
  • Writing/general norms (no "thank you", no "could you (PLEASE) look at this?", no trying to keep the morale high "I know its pretty rough at the moment, but really thanks team for pushing so hard on this") even with E-Mails -- people write E-Mails like they write SMS (no hello, no nothing, just "need to do XYZ when can you send-over")
  • People in general mostly annoyed / grumpy - no joking/chit-chatting (saw this across firms also when I was on the advisory side) everybody looks absolutely miserable and tensed all the times

Is this only happening at bad culture-shops and I just went to the wrong place?

30 Comments
 

I was at a firm that had a “good” culture and this was still the norm. Occasionally had casual conversations with other juniors in the office, but most people are in their office or cube with headphones in just trying to get work done so they weren’t up all night. Some would even get annoyed if you tried to talk to them and distracted them. 

 

 
Most Helpful

PE sucks that said 1. Is positive, would love 90% of my calls to be calls and not performative Zooms where both sides have to set camera 2. Is also positive. Direct doesn’t mean bad culture, just no need for corporate fluffspeak 3. Sucks but that is lot of places in finance 

 

Welcome to PE man. This isn’t summer camp. I did MBB for almost 4 years so I understand the transition you’re experiencing. Reality is people are busy and trying to make money. They have families and stuff. Some are actually interested in what they’re doing. Others are just psycho power hungry climbers and want to get promoted etc. Either way yeah it’s not a kumbaya environment like MBB unfortunately.

(And yes it’s rooted in IB culture unless you go to one of the MBB shops)

 

Your base expectations are already messed up because you come from MBB / client advisory where the expectation is to be outgoing at all times, have a cheerful face, and chit chat. I can tell that you are early in your career because you have failed to recognize that all of that "culture" in MBB is performative. No one cares what you did on the weekend, what your interests are, or that you have a buddy visiting from out of town and you hit a neighborhood dive bar that only locals know about.

That is all stripped out from PE. The places and people that do ask those questions either i) are performative and fake and have that consulting / advisory background (banking is a bit different), or ii) actually do care but those types are far and few between.

You also now have the component where PE is the client, not the advisor. The client couldn't give a rats ass if you don't like that they went off camera. They are writing the check that buys your business or pays for the advisory fees. I have a partner who will open a bag of popcorn during management meetings and just start eating while on camera, mic not muted. I was taken aback at first and then I realized, this is a shitty business we are speaking to, we'll never own it or talk to these schmucks again, and we have 40 mins left in this call to get through so fuck it.

 

Associate 1 in PE - LBOs

I have a partner who will open a bag of popcorn during management meetings and just start eating while on camera, mic not muted. I was taken aback at first and then I realized, this is a shitty business we are speaking to, we'll never own it or talk to these schmucks again, and we have 40 mins left in this call to get through so fuck it.

Agree with all of what you said but don't really get this part, why waste the time to join the call here? I get it as the junior team that has to do work just to kill a deal to cover your ass later on if it ends up being a good outcome for whoever does buy it, but weird behavior for a partner

 

Different industry and pre zoom. Flew in to speak with senior bank leadership (regional bank) about installing our investment management offering. They reached out to us and invited me to speak with their Head of X. Board room setting. Guy just looked at his phone the whole time. Eventually I asked, " Everything alright at home? Do you need to make a call?" He got the message but clearly had no interest in speaking with us. Still don't know why they asked us to visit. So rude. But eventually they purchased a bank that we were working with. Needless to say they no longer needed our services (even though we were providing better results than there internal offering. Was a turf war.

 

Because the default orientation is transactional and to view interactions as negotiations, even when it is excessive/manufactured. General worldview of zero-sum vs. positive-sum. Sharing of information? Transactional. Information is currency. Nearly as valued internally as externally dependent on the situation. Generating work product? How can I leverage resource (you/firm) to increase asset (me/my trajectory)? Interactions with portfolio companies?...The behavior is consistent across the spectrum of workstreams, situations, and stakeholders. Quite an insufferable perspective, and will largely be limiting from a professional and personal aspect (ex. think about who you attract with this type of behavior). There are examples of people who have had generational careers with the described behavior, though they are not consistently produced and succession/longevity (firm, spouse, children) is quite fragile.

 
  • why do you need to see them on camera? I keep my camera off cause 1) I WFH and wear tshirt, 2) I'm self-conscious about how I look on camera, and usually it's unflattering angle from below (laptop is at my chest level) that makes me look fat whereas irl I'm very fit, 3) I can multi-task and calls are not as taxing then.
  • all these "morale high" and "thank you / please" is a waste of time to type and read. we're all here for money. let's just communicate efficiently, get things done, and get paid.
  • joking/chit-chatting and pretending to be happy is a waste of time and energy. we're all here for money. let's get things done efficiently and get paid.
 

why do you need to see them on camera? I keep my camera off cause 1) I WFH and wear tshirt, 2) I'm self-conscious about how I look on camera, and usually it's unflattering angle from below (laptop is at my chest level) that makes me look fat whereas irl I'm very fit


lol imagine being a grown ass man and not turning on your camera for a business meeting because you’re self conscious about how you look. Very feminine energy 

 

It’s a more natural transition from IB where everyone is an asshole as well. The email tone is just how people speak, it’s not that that makes them assholes, it’s the way they approach everything at work. 

 

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