A serious life question
Posting this anon. Incoming analyst. Would you date someone you work with? Recently got an offer and one of the analysts (who is a girl) is so hot. She actually did some modelling work before joining the company. I shouldn't dip my pen in the company ink, but how do I focus!? She's so fucking hot. I've also recently broken up with my GF because she didn't want to go to NYC with me, maybe it's some lingering feelings for her that may make me feel so strongly? I don't know.
Don't want to mess up anything for either of us but I haven't started yet and she and I text/facetime a lot since I got the offer. We really hit off from the get-go. I got the offer in December and met her for the first time in October (reached out to network). We've been talking ever since. I feel like she kind of feels somewhat similar but not sure, kind of hint at stuff when we talk but I can't be sure of anything as my own feelings may be misinterpreting what she's saying. I'm autistic and need help.
Shit where you eat- that's how the saying goes, right?
Eh I’ve never done something like this. My opinion is to not “make moves” over text or FaceTime.
In-person, if you guys get drinks you can tell by her body language if she’s interested or not.
Go for it. I wouldn’t date, but I would definitely fuck a coworker/intern
This is why HR departments exist. To make sure people like this guy don't get jobs, or when they do, that they can make sure the company doesn't suffer from his poor decisions.
Another like me will fill my place
Co-workers can have sex. There are huge percentages of people (before tinder), who met in the office and got married.
To be honest, this is likely the safer choice than dating. BUT, I'd be more concerned from the male point of view, there are some people that attribute to men a higher degree of responsibility when it comes to this.
Don't emotionally play games with women, it will backfire.
A safe way to test the waters is to ask her if she can show you some modeling skills after hours. If she says no, explain that you meant excel modeling.
This is funny. Actually say this, she will laugh if you do it right.
Imagine yourself on your death bed asking yourself “why didn’t I just ask her out?”
This is my philosophy normally. I do tend to ask even if I have a no chance. Coworkers present risks, don’t want to get in trouble and don’t want to get her in trouble either.
yeah if you can pull it off it's mostly fine except jealousy from others that would find out, but by your tone you don't seem the type to be able to sleep with someone you work with and not have it affect your work
You aren’t wrong. I think I’m in love with her to be honest. Not to sound like a simp but have you ever seen a girl so beautiful she was intimidating? My ex wasn’t like that, she was a soft 7.
I know exactly what you mean. Some girls are so beautiful that it almost feels wrong to try to hit on them. I am friends with probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen for this reason. It doesn't bother me though. Appreciating the overwhelming beauty is enough for me.
Yeah dude don't do it. You'll probably not spend your whole career there and neither will she. Just wait until one of yall leaves.
You don’t date where you eat. Simple. Stupid questions. I have never heard of someone trying to get someone via networking call. What an idiot
I didn’t get try to get to her through a networking call.... that’s weird. It happened after we had met in person.
Very high risk, up to you if the potential reward justifies it.
This happened twice at my firm; I think it can be done cleanly but it's risky. Couple A started dating when they were analysts, 8 years later they are married. One of them eventually left the firm 2-3 years into their relationship, but overall it had no repercussions to either one's career. They were very smart (ie private) while dating at the same company. Couple B ended up being messy. The guy started dating the girl but there was another guy simping on her too, which made the relationship between the two guys awkward. Then one of the people in the relationship got relocated to another market and the other person somehow found a way to get relocated to the same market a few years later. They eventually broke up and now one of them is stuck in a city they never actually wanted to be in, but the firm is taking the approach of "too bad" so it ended up screwing them in the long run
Two analysts from my bank got married, had kids, and both have successful careers. I think it is okay, but it needs to be incredibly private. In the office and at work events you are colleagues, out of the office you can do what you want.
Your situation is obviously a bit different — the risk of things being awkward if she isn’t into you. But if the two of you are on the same page, you can make it work without losing your career.
We should start referring to this as "insideher trading" that dipping the pen shit doesn't convey enough risk.
The answer to your question is always yes.
Get to know her first, don’t dive into anything this easily. I met the girl i’m dating now through work. We would flirt and I knew she felt something more when we worked together, but it was just between us. I ended up leaving the job for an internship and since I left I started texting her more, which led to facetiming every night. We finally hung out 1 time and then it went from there. I am the first ever guy she hung out with alone so it took awhile for her to hang out (2 months). Also she knew I was dating a girl before and she wanted that time in between to vet me as the right guy and not a player. I was a huge player picking up every girl that walked into the workplace lmao. You seem very eager, take time to get to know the girl, and if it works out then it works out. I agree with everyone else as well, I would say to keep it as private as possible. I wish you the best of luck!
- expand -
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s…
The study is a view years dated but a little less than 1 in 5 couples met at work. It's far more common than you think. Ignore all the people here who are scared of everything. Just be professional about how you approach her, and never date anyone on a lower rung of the corporate ladder and you'll be fine.
Maybe nobody is safe:
Jeff Zucker resigns from CNN over relationship with senior executive (msn.com)
It happens and is fine as long as you’re careful. I did this a little bit when I was first out of college, and I think some rumors went around. Not bad enough to affect my work or standing in any way, but I didn’t like that people at work could be gossiping about my personal life.
So ever since then, my personal rule is to not shit where I eat.
if she's as hot as you're saying, then the question is how hot are you? if you're also exceptionally hot, then go for it. she must have high expectations cause she's hot and smart, so only a small pool of men can catch her interest. so, if you're in that pool, then go for it. if not, don't embarrass yourself and focus on work instead. also, how rich are you? did daddy buy you a nice sports car or are you carrying $200k in student loans with 6%+ interest rate? girl like this will expect you to take her out on fancy dates and entertain her. think if you can and should afford it.
Hard pass.
I work closely with HR and have friends in legal. Don't date at a workplace. If you want to get blacklisted, feel free to do so. Ozymandia makes a very true statement. Plenty of fish in the ocean, should not be the intern. This is how you lose everything in life - bad choices.
My guess is that anyone considering sleeping with an intern doesn't have a plausible alternative. After all, if you could land a date with someone else you would; pressuring people below you on the corporate ladder into sex is the only resort for these mouth breathers.
I assume you're moving to NYC. Trust me, there are so, so many hot women who you don't work with that unless you think this is "the one" for you, it's just not worth it. Also (and this is not a dig, I was 21 once too), try and not fall in love so hard with someone you don't really know. It will help you in the future.
You are certainly correct. This 'situation' has been posted on WSO numerous of times in the past, it literally creeps me out when people write this kind of content on here.
Whatever happens between you two, always keep cool and never let yourself get salty / bitter / angry. Keep things light and respect her boundaries.
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