Being asked to stay behind and train my replacement

After several months of stress, being overworked and trying to look for another job, I decided to quit my job and gave notice to my boss. I am quitting without a job after letting my mental health suffer way too much, and now i need to prioritize that to be in better shape to find a job. However, my boss asked me to extend my time another week to train someone else they hired before I even put in notice. I only learned of this person because another co-worker was informed of the new hire. I was not told anything by management but i suspected it was because we were going to have different job functions or responsibilities. It doesn't sound like it though. It sounds more like i am training someone who is replacing me fully which I don't want to do. Would you say "no" to it or stay and train them?

I'm concerned that it'd be viewed as burning a bridge if i don't. At the same time they're super small and have struggled to be successful in the industry. We've had too many bad deals where partners walked away no longer wanting to deals with us. And these bad deals weren't driven by the market less favorable, more so by the lack of proper management and resources in place. I'm trying to stay in RE but am also considering leaving the industry for now.


Only you know the answer to this based on your mental health. To us another week might not seem like a big price to pay to keep everything smooth, but we're also not the ones so distraught that we quit our jobs without anything else lined up. 

Might be worth rolling in at 10am and disappearing at 3pm with a long lunch in between for a week just to "train" this person and get a pat on your back from your boss, but it's not worth you hating life even more. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer

To me I don't think another week is worth it. I don't want to go back there. The environment got really toxic and my team has been hostile and snide towards me leaving. I've seen 4 other people quit back-to-back last month for the same reasons. Even when i put in my notice, I was really at a point where I should have just left that same day but I'm trying to keep a good face by providing the two weeks.

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The second part says it all, I wouldn't worry about burning a bridge - you gave your notice and stayed for that time. It's ridiculous for them to come to you at the end and ask that.

Especially with their reputation in the industry, I would tell them best of luck, you gave your two week notice and are leaving. I worked at a similar shop and the principals only care about themselves and do not look out for juniors or their careers. You have to focus on what is best for you, not do them another favor after coworkers are being immature and snide during your last two weeks and after you dealt with that environment for x months or years. You don't owe them anything and should not do them a favor, they've shown what they think of you and their partners and clearly they have no respect for anyone else and shouldn't be a firm you go above and beyond for.


Tell your boss you've quit but you'll stay on as a consultant, and charge an exorbitant fee.   They want you to work an extra 40 hours to train your replacement?  Ask for $250/hour or something and make an extra 10 grand on your way out the door.  I'm sure they're paying their lawyers way more to do way less...


If they fired you, would they give you an extra week of severance if you asked for it?
I don’t think it is bad for them to ask for another week and I don’t think it is bad for you to say no. Just say you cannot extend as you have plans. If you want to go the consulting route fee, that is fine too. You could say you will cancel your plans but you need to be compensated.


It doesn’t seem like this company will be providing positive references and they might even be hostile. You don’t need to leave every company on good terms but it can be helpful. 

If a positive reference is worth it to you, I would put it in writing and have them sign a contract that states as much and make it as specific as possible. In return, you can agree to stay another week and put in a good faith effort in training this new person.

Not advising you either way as you’ll know best but rather giving you something to consider.


Yeah the thought that has been running through my mind is this place has been disaster that has only cheated people out of so many things. I was naïve to think everything would be okay or get better but it didn't. So I'm trying to just get out of here and keep to the original date.

Collecting a reference letter could be useful but I don't really think it's worth it. I need to move on, my mistake was not getting out sooner.


Ask for a reference letter and put a separate letter in front of them that outlines terms for the next week and get those signed this week. If they can't sign it within a day or two for both leave, they're stringing you along.

Have had companies similar to this say verbally you'll get xyz if you do this for us and once they got $ millions in refunds they said we didn't have it in writing I'm not giving it to you. Have also heard of well known companies reneging on verbal transactions within teams ("stay an extra two weeks to train someone we'll give you $20k bonus more") and screw them at the end saying as much as the same. 

Have to get anything you do signed no matter what company, I'm young and have heard of multiple instances across small, lesser known companies to large well known banks and older family firms.


You mention leaving real estate all together, can I ask if you’re on the brokerage side or principal side? I’m starting my career soon and feel like I’ve heard more hostility and that type of culture on the capital markets brokerage side. Curious to hear more about that and why you think it became toxic in the first place?

Either decision will be the right one imo.


I work on the principal side, previously was on the brokerage side. Honestly, after this experience any place can be toxic. Capital markets can be super competitive where it's not quite a "open door" culture between brokers, the last shop I was at was more open door and collaborative to an extent, but again everyone was focused on their own deals so expect some boundaries. In terms of principal side, it's supposed to be more relaxed but I think a lack of deal flow or slower business make an already toxic shop worse. Bad practices in management during good times allow deals to skate by with little issue cause there's money there in the market that we're attacking. When the market turns, the margins get tight and you cut corners, but those cut corners end up haunting you later if you don't know what you're doing.

I'm honestly thinking of leaving the industry because deal flow isn't there right now. I need to make a living, I have savings right now but it just seems like prices and financing are too high for deals to pencil. It seems like we're getting to the other side of things but it seems like it'll be a gradual climb until the job market is booming again.


Is this shop in Atlanta?

Lmao I can think of at least two shops you may be referring to  

Commercial Real Estate Developer

OP here, wrapped everything up with that job following this initial posting i created. Felt like a huge weight off my shoulders when i left.

Also, I assume with interviewing that i should only reveal that i left my job if they ask it some way? And for explaining why i left and without a job lined up, the reason is really growth. I stopped growing in the role and felt it was important to spend more time finding a new position where i could advance myself. Does a response like that make sense or sound good to a hiring manager? 


I left a job once because of a toxic culture too. I was surprised at how common it was, and how much it resonated with people during interviews (juniors and seniors alike). I think you can be honest during interviews, just make sure to keep it professional.

Instead of being emotional / going into detail / naming people / etc., just say that the culture didn't align with what you wanted so you decided to take a sabbatical. I think I said that and something along the lines of "I'm looking for a place without the sharp elbows and more collaborative environment". People are not dumb, they can read between the lines. It especially helps if you say that for your next role you're primarily looking for a place with good culture, which is a great segue to discussing positive things about the culture of the firm you're interviewing with.

Once you're at or near the offer stage, and you feel more comfortable with them, I think you can provide a tiny bit more detail (just be sure to keep it professional and never say anyone's name).

"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."

These days, I think just saying you wanted to transition to a different type of role and take some time off to travel / visit family / etc. is not viewed negatively. So many people have recalibrated their work / life balance priorities post-COVID. You can also mention cultural fit or role not aligning with your goals & growth if they press.


Been in a similar spot a long time ago, I didn't train them. They were upset. But whatever, I always recommend never burning bridges, but I probably got a decade plus experience on this.

Here is my saying:

"Its okay to burn a bridge you don't plan to use"

As long as youre okay with that then dont train them. Too often people have to pretend to be slaves their entire lives as they worry about the future. Yes, you should always maintain strong relationships, but at some point you cant be the only one. It goes both ways. There are people I worked for that were god awful humans. I dont need their relationship. Better to cut that relationship.Then there were people I worked with that I would do anything for. You'll know the difference but based on what you said, seems like everyone sucks.

If you dont want to look bad, just make up some BS story like a girlfriend/family member booked a surprise vacation as a gift for getting a new position. And that its all non-refundable.


Yeah i was finding very little value in the relationship with them, so sticking to what i needed to do and wrap up in two weeks was what i stuck to. Management was not interested in thriving for success, nor taking accountability for mistakes. All they did was blame different team members and then fire them. It was almost as if quitting with a notice was burning a bridge no matter what. They were almost more upset that they didn't have the opportunity to fire.


100%, it seems many firms are more towards the toxic side at least the ones I've worked for that are sub 100 employees and private. Had firms not be upfront after they overpaid me (based on set hours and pay when my hours fluctuated), then just didn't pay me for 2-3 weeks after they realized without telling me lol.

It's like really, that's how you treat someone who's working for you and the expectation is to be fair to them after they lied to you... It's a good experience for later, realizing what type of company you want to be at and who you want to do business with in the future if you grow into certain roles.


Not OP but I had to face a similar situation this time I was let go. If you’re planning on staying in real estate make sure that you get it on writing that they will not provide negative references of you at said company, and if they do provide unauthorized references then it could be breach of contract.

Real estate is small so you have to be careful of someone sabotaging your next opportunity. This just happened to me and I’m beyond pissed.

To those wondering this was on the capital markets side. I’m leaving real estate all together because this industry is beyond toxic.


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