Company Asked For Reference From Old Job Where I Didn’t Leave On The Best Terms After They Already Talked To 4 Of My References, How Should I Handle It?
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Based on the most helpful WSO content, here’s how you can navigate this tricky situation professionally and strategically:
1. Reach Out to Your Former Manager Directly (Option 1)
This is the most professional and proactive approach. Re-establishing rapport with your former manager before the new company contacts them allows you to control the narrative. Here’s how to approach it:
- Acknowledge the time gap: Start by expressing that you value their perspective and apologize for not staying in touch.
- Be transparent: Briefly explain the situation, emphasizing your growth since leaving the role.
- Request their support: Politely ask if they’d be willing to provide a reference, framing it as an opportunity to highlight your relevant experience.
This approach shows maturity and professionalism, and it might even soften any lingering negative impressions.
2. Be Honest with the New Company (Option 2)
If you’re concerned about how the reference might play out, you can be upfront with the new company. Explain that you haven’t been in touch with your former manager in a few years but can provide an alternative reference from another relevant company.
- Frame it positively: Highlight the strong references you’ve already provided and offer to share additional context about your experience at the prior company.
- Avoid defensiveness: Keep the tone confident and professional, focusing on your qualifications and growth.
3. Avoid Risky or Dishonest Tactics (Options 4, 5, 6, 7)
Options like having a friend pose as an employee, claiming company policy prohibits references, or stretching the truth about dates of employment are highly risky and could backfire. These actions could damage your credibility and reputation if discovered.
4. Let It Play Out (Option 3)
If you believe your former manager might provide a neutral or even positive reference, you could simply provide their contact information and let the process unfold. However, this is a gamble, especially if you’re unsure of their current perception of you.
Recommendation:
The best course of action is Option 1—reaching out to your former manager directly. It’s the most professional and transparent approach, and it gives you a chance to influence the outcome. If you’re unable to re-establish rapport or feel uncertain about their response, pivot to Option 2 and be upfront with the new company while offering an alternative reference.
Good luck!
Sources: We need to let you go, https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/job-search/suing-a-former-employer?customgpt=1, I need your advice, Being Fired and being upfront about it, Was just asked to resign...what should I say on interviews?
This is an easy one: do the right thing by reaching out to the former manager to ask if a prospective employer may reach out for a reference (he'll be flattered and will of course say yes). Use the call to be friendly, ask how they're doing, re-establish a rapport. Don't overthink this or do anything dishonest that could come back to bite you.
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I'd reach out, but in honesty, if it were a bigger firm, you probably could find out their internal policies regarding such reference calls. Most have policies only allowing Dates, and if you were employed, some of the more leniently written policies allow they to perform these duties, and would they be allowed to seek employment back at the firm? Most don't allow the latter as it can open the firm up to a lawsuit. While you might not win in court, it'll be easier for the firm to just settle with you. I work at a smaller firm, 250 employees, we aren't allowed to say anything unless listed as an actual reference, not an employment reference. Even then we have to be pretty proactive in what we mention.
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