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Best Response

Too much white space. I get that you're young, but at this point you ought to try to paint a better picture of yourself. You have "Skills, Activities, and Interests" with essentially nothing there. Time to shine. Get some real interests, don't have the cliche finance-y reading related ones, put your actual passions. Get some extracurriculars in there, activities ought to be full enough to be its own section. I've never seen it combined with Skills and Interests.

On a formatting note, make sure you're consistent. You have periods ending some sentences and omit it for others; pick one style and make it universal. Same thing with your tenses. As a general rule, if you're in a position that runs through the present, keep your verbs in the present tense i.e. "organize." If the position has concluded, always always always have it in past tense. You have an entry with both present and past for different bullets.

Fill out your honors. If you have a 4.0, you must be dean's list, right? Throw that up there for however many semesters you've got (2), list it like "Dean's List: Fall 2010, Spring 2011" and be prepared to add any more that come after.

Quantify in your bullet points better. You do little of that, only twice, listing "five" and "$2000" as reference points. Do that more, give numbers to provide some scope.

Just some suggestions to get you on a better path.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 

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