Cover letter for summer i-banking internships - UPDATED
Hey guys, just drafted my cover letter taking the advice of the M&I guide. Tell me what you think. Also, I would include this in the body of an email but just drafted it this way in case I need to send out a hard copy. Thanks a lot.
Focusi more on the analytical skills that you've earned throughout your experiences rather than just interpersonal, public-speaking skills.
My first impressions are: 1) It's way too long. Especially the first and last paragraphs. Nobody will read all that. 2) There is too much fluff and ass-kissing, makes you look like a giant tool.
Work on cutting it down first and then repost it for more specific comments.
A cover letter is meant to highlight and steer the recruiter to your story - it should pitch why they should hire you without you coming off as pretentious and boastful.
Your writing style is long-winded. The first and last paragraph are rather generic - cut down on what the company offers (it's assumed that they offer great training, good exposure, etc. - that's why you're applying to them). If you've developed any relationships with people at the firm, that is MUCH MORE personal and you can then give a sentence on why you're really interested in working there.
The body paragraph doesn't do enough to "sell you" to the firm. Highlight two or three experiences you have had where you've had lasting impact, led a team to high results, you get the idea.
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banker88 was spot on. From my personal experience, cover letters won't get you past the initial screen, but can keep you from advancing. Its too long and you do sound like a tool ( no need for "extremely interested", "respect company", "captivated my interest", "these experience show that I have the necessary qualifications"). For each bank try to find something unique about them to play up, and then do just that. Off the top of my head
Citi - loves the fact that they are all over the world i.e. vast resources Barcap - two great banks in one (Lehman N.A. and Barclays) BX - their buyside approach to banking JP/BAML - balance sheet? GS/MS - everyone's smart and qualified (or more importantly for this discussion thats what they believe) so play up team work and culture
After you've fondled them (hard enough so that they feel their pants go tight but soft enough so that they don't realize they are being caressed) you mention some of the things you've accomplished and tie it back to why banking and them. Good luck
Thanks for the helpful suggestions guys. Just updated, tell me what you think.
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