Cover Letter Review - Experienced Hire
Hi Guys,
First of all, I would like to thank everybody that contributed to my resume review a couple of days ago. I really appreciated all the feedback received.
Now, I would like to kindly request your review on my cover letter. Feel absolutely free to provide your critique as necessary.
Like I said earlier, I'm not an English native speaker, so it would be very helpful if you could also check my English grammar, spelling and see if statements make sense.
I really appreciate your help again.
Thanks in advance.
Last sentence of the third paragraph after the semicolon should be revised to read "my main accomplishments while at [bulge bracket] included a..."
"opportunity to meeting with you" should be changed to "opportunity to meet with you."
Overall, it looks pretty solid. Taking a top-down approach, first, I would change "6 years experience," to "6 years of experience." Next, I would change your 1st sentence of the 2nd paragraph to something like, "As outlined in my resume, I have worked in finance for nearly 6 years, over which time I have held..." I would then start a new sentence at "a wide variety of roles," rather than create a lengthy 1-sentence paragraph. I would also change roles to something like fields, or functions, because accounting and investment banking aren't roles, an analyst, an auditor, an associate, etc, are roles.
3rd paragraph, change "having worked," to, "where I worked on several significant transactions..." I would change "of Company A" to either "in which company A purchased Company B," or "between Company A and Company B." Change "8.0/9.0..." to "an 8.0/9/0," and cut out the rest, because you already mentioned the exam previously in the same sentence as the only exam you were studying for. Change "being involved in M&A..." to "where I worked with the M&A team on several XXXX and capital raises." Change the last sentence to something like "Prior to working at BB1, I worked at BB, first as a XXXX, then as a XXXX (assuming you held different titles), where I [did something, modeled, wrote a memo, managed something, etc] a $200 million..."
"I believe my extensive (never use unique unless you are SURE it is unique - working in a few diff position is not necessarily unique) experience gained through...[remove from X to X to X]."
Change "opportunity to meeting with you" should be changed to "opportunity to meet with you."
Change "Yours sincerely," to just "Sincerely," unless you are actually his...which would be weird.
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