Scare for Trading job: what should I do?
I joined trading at a BB half a year ago after graduating. I interned at this place in my junior summer and everything felt fine, but I have had a terrible full-time experience so far. I'm mainly doing some small quotes, but whenever something popped up (a trade, a message from a co-worker, an email, or just anything), I would become completely tightened and my heart beats fast. Maybe it's the scare of doing something wrong. Honestly, I've been doing great in terms of work quality so far, and I'm fairly good at understanding the products and markets, but the fast pace of work (for example quotes need to be submitted in a very short time) is eating me and making me feel miserable and reluctant to go to work every day. It has also impacted my mental and physical health with some symptoms showing up.
I also feel scared when thinking of managing a book of risks later in my career. This might get better after I actually do it for a while, but now I just can't resist the fear. Do you have any advice or experience to share with me? Is this normal and will improve after time, or does this say something about my suitability to be a trader? Desperately needing some help.
I'm in a somewhat similar spot to you. The overall process has been slow for me as covid hit and my development has stagnated, and WFH does not help. So I still get that heart-racing moment when I get a request or an unexpected bloomberg IM pops up, etc. It might be something meaningless but I still get that feeling and a sudden wave of pressure.
In my case, I think it has to do with the fact that I'm still not in a place where I'm constantly getting RFQs or a lot of inquiries in general. So I'm still in a place where it feels like I'm brand new to the team and I'm doing something for the first time.
It is hard to explain. But I can definitely relate to you in some levels. Hopefully it helps that you're not the only one.
When I first started I felt the same, tight stomach, was very nervous thinking I would mess something up, or not know what to do and make a big mess. A lot of this was because I cared, and I wanted to make sure that what I was doing was correct or it wasn't going to be put in the spotlight of what not to do. Do you know what happened during my first few months? I made mistakes. Simple as that, its part of the learning process, and you will make mistakes. What is important is how the mistake happened, and how you recover from it. After each mistake I made, I went over what happened, why it was wrong, and what to do next time. It helped me grow more confident, and I would say that its okay to make a mistake, just not the same mistake twice. It definitely takes some time to gain confidence on a desk, you just have to make sure that you're asking questions, and asking when you don't know something. As for your mental/physical health, make sure to take time out of your day/week to do things you want to do. I always find going for a bike ride helps me clear my thoughts and just put thoughts to rest.
it takes a couple YEARS before that feeling goes away...
You will feel uncomfortable for a couple of years, but it’ll pass with time. Still to this day when I get hit for size my heart drops, it’s just the nature of the beast.
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