Cringeworthy LinkedIn Profiles

ColdCaller's picture
Rank: Gorilla | banana points 527

Is it just me or is it cringeworthy when someone lists experiences such as "Pizza Hut Delivery Guy" on their LinkedIn profile? Or how about that person that has 6 languages on their profile 4 of them being listed down as "Elementary Proficiency". Or those profiles that have hundreds of skills listed on them even though the person is some freshman undergrad.

People should be focusing on the quality of their profiles, not on the quantity of useless experiences/skills. Also, to all of you "Incoming Summer Analysts", seriously just drop that title.

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Comments (81)

Sep 13, 2018

Is it just me or is it cringeworthy when someone whose experience is way less impressive than they think makes fun of people for working at places like "Pizza Hut Delivery Guy" on their LinkedIn profile? Or how about that person that has 6 languages on their profile 4 of them being listed down as "Elementary Proficiency". Or those profiles that have hundreds of skills listed on them even though the person is some freshman undergrad who is just young and might not know any better.

People should be focusing on the quality of their profiles, not on the quantity of useless experiences/skills. Also, to all of you "Incoming Summer Analysts", seriously just drop that title because I'm really insecure and have nothing better to do.

Sep 13, 2018
m_1:

Also, to all of you "Incoming Summer Analysts", seriously just drop that title because I'm really insecure and have nothing better to do.

Why does every boomer on this website keep complaing about this. For God's sake, you have to do it because how of how accelerated recruiting now is.

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Sep 14, 2018

Not a boomer, but I find it off-putting. I would rather not see that you're an "incoming whatever" because things can change prior to starting. It's a red flag and would keep me on guard as to why. This way if someone sees that you were going to start at X, but end up at firm Y, it opens up a whole line of questions as to what happened that people may not want to answer. Personally, if I saw that on a LinkedIn profile and then had the same candidate interview with me for position at my firm, I would keep pressing until I got an answer I was satisfied with.

Sep 18, 2018

I blame it on our generation's necessity for validation from others.. social media has turned us into beings that need the attention and "likes" of others rather than our own personal satisfaction. I think there's a fine line between being proud and being a braggart and the whole "incoming xyz" is for attention IMO

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Sep 18, 2018

I agree with this to an extent. I think it's part validation from others, but part of me wants to believe kids are proud of themselves for their accomplishments. I personally never did it, but it isn't something that bothers me.

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Sep 21, 2018

Oh no! God forbid you dont respond to someone messaging you on LinkedIn!

Also feel like the type of person to put that isnt getting actively messaged by other recruiters, especially as at the time of you have an offer and become "incoming", anywhere that would reach out has filled their openings.

Sep 22, 2018

Agree, everyone is doing the best they can. Let the kids be proud of their achievements, they have worked hard to obtain their positions and there's no reason to rain on their parade. I'm not in the business of checking our analysts' LinkedIns, but if I saw an incoming analyst list himself as an incoming analyst on LinkedIn, I'd be happy that he has a sense of pride about coming to work with us. All you young guys need to lighten up on each other and get some sleep, stop being grumpy and talking down to the youngins. It doesn't make you seem anymore competent or accomplished.

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Sep 13, 2018

I find it far more impressive when someone lists their "lesser" jobs on a CV, rather than inflating some bullshit extracurricular activities.

So you played lax during college, or coasted through the board of some minor student club? Who gives a shit. The students that are doing back-breaking work for some extra money are the real heroes IMO (Not saying that those are mutually exclusive, though). Far too many soft college kids that have never done an honest day's work.

The most character building job experience I've ever had, were the 16 to 20 hour shifts of hard manual labor at the docks. Makes a 100 hour week at the office feel like regular 9-5.

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Sep 13, 2018
tackytech:

So you played lax during college, or coasted through the board of some minor student club? Who gives a shit. The students that are doing back-breaking work for some extra money are the real heroes IMO (Not saying that those are mutually exclusive, though). Far too many soft college kids that have never done an honest day of work.

Yeah but it's Wall Street. There's no pride in any of that unfortunately. All of those guys come from Elite backgrounds.

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Sep 22, 2018

I disagree, I love a blue-collar work ethic. All of these "elite" kids are entitled and think they know everything. Give me a guy that knows he overachieved by getting a job in high-finance and I guarantee you he'll do anything to prove his worth.

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Sep 23, 2018

I speak from personal experience, not sure why people are just throwing MS at truth and walking away lol.

"Blue collar work ethic" doesn't have a place in an elite environment. This is life.

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Sep 23, 2018

Disagree - best example is Patrick Healy, Co-CEO (and soon sole CEO) of Hellman & Friedman (copied from H&F website). What makes him a BSD is the last line in that CV.

Patrick is Co-Chief Executive Officer of Hellman & Friedman. He is a member of the Investment Committee, Chairman of the Compensation Committee and leads the Firm's London office and European activities. Patrick joined H&F in 1994. He is currently a Director of [PortCos]. His previous investment activities included [shit ton of deals]. Prior to H&F, Patrick was employed by James D. Wolfensohn Incorporated in New York and Consolidated Press Holdings in Australia. Patrick started his career stocking paint and sundries at Schoening's Paint and Wallpaper in Rockford, IL

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Sep 23, 2018

Ok, but for the most part all these people come from Elite backgrounds.

I speak from personal experience that talking about "blue collar work ethic" gets you laughed at, and if ANYTHING, makes you look worse. I'm not debating this any further.

Sep 17, 2018

Not going to lie I do miss those days. Though my time was building foundations of houses. Like $8 an hour. But I had like 6 weeks to work and was studying abroad in the fall so every dime I could make had some value.

Actually got fired briefly from that job. Bossman was sitting in his truck. I got a little lazy...and by lazy I mean it was a 100 degrees out and was getting light headed.

Next day he apologized. Checked out the weather report.

And for what it's worth. Construction worker jacked is fairly sick. 6 weeks of lifting cement block 8 hours a day beats a gym workout any day. Wouldn't mind retiring to a bit of manual labor. Something feels great about building something during the day and feeling physically sore after a hard days work.

Array
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Sep 18, 2018
traderlife:

Not going to lie I do miss those days. Though my time was building foundations of houses. Like $8 an hour. But I had like 6 weeks to work and was studying abroad in the fall so every dime I could make had some value.

Actually got fired briefly from that job. Bossman was sitting in his truck. I got a little lazy...and by lazy I mean it was a 100 degrees out and was getting light headed.

Next day he apologized. Checked out the weather report.

And for what it's worth. Construction worker jacked is fairly sick. 6 weeks of lifting cement block 8 hours a day beats a gym workout any day. Wouldn't mind retiring to a bit of manual labor. Something feels great about building something during the day and feeling physically sore after a hard days work.

I worked landscape construction digging out huge 150-200 year old clay/brick cisterns in an area where they were common and pouring contrete footings for walls and decks. One of the best summers of my life.

Sep 18, 2018

I used to pour concrete for pool deck installations as my first job. Was up at 7 on Saturdays and done by noon with 150 bucks cash, a sick workout and the rest of the day at my disposal. Was my favorite non-desk job in HS.

Sep 18, 2018
brosephstalin:

I used to pour concrete for pool deck installations as my first job. Was up at 7 on Saturdays and done by noon with 150 bucks cash, a sick workout and the rest of the day at my disposal. Was my favorite non-desk job in HS.

I was also a mechanic at a bike shop, which is my all time favorite job.

Sep 18, 2018

You are all my favorite people on here now. I did a number of jobs in factories in my youth. Now when I meet kids who have "shit" jobs on their resumes I push for them over the summer camp stars

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Sep 21, 2018

I did homebuilding at a small local group throughout college as well, it was hard work in a Florida summer and a year in I jumped at the offer to move to the office to do finance work for em and and just do part time superintendent work. Can't say I miss it too much haha

Sep 24, 2018

I couldn't agree more. I spent a lot of time in high school and college working jobs in railroad construction and maintenance/grounds at a school. Getting paid after a week of helping lift 600 pound rails off the bed of a truck or getting chopped up by weed whacking shrapnel was an incredible feeling. I still get breakfast with the guys at the diner on weekends and it makes me emotional when they tell me how proud they are that I made it through college and have a solid job.

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Sep 21, 2018

What happened? Cut from your schools club lax team?! Why the shade?

Playing college sports requires far more time and effort as well as physical and mental endurance than two shifts at Dominos for 3 hours each.

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Funniest
Sep 13, 2018

I saw a kid list his fraternity pledgeship as job experience. Something along the lines of "Master Dishwasher - Responsible for collecting and cleaning dishes and ensuring high sanitary standards for all members within the house kitchen"

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Sep 13, 2018

WTF this can't be real

Sep 18, 2018

This is hilarious.

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Sep 13, 2018

Forget the content. The best part of the LinkedIn profiles are the pictures. Whether it's a picture from a big night out with the boys looking 3 sheets to the wind or a selfie in a bathroom stall, I've seen some winners.

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Most Helpful
Sep 13, 2018

Fuck off - my first job on LinkedIn is the retail job I had in high school. I'm proud of it.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
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Sep 14, 2018

Guy from my high school did a year as a Deliveroo driver and now is an Associate at PwC.

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Sep 14, 2018

Love the attitude mate. I agree my shitty retail jobs are staying on LinkedIn so people know where I've came from.

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Sep 14, 2018
Yankee Doodle:

Fuck off - my first job on LinkedIn is the retail job I had in high school. I'm proud of it.

You should definitely be proud of your first job, I get that. I think the problem I have with the retail jobs is, I have to ask, is it relevant to your professional ambitions? If it is, then of course include it. If not, should it be there? LinkedIn is about connecting with people professionally for your career. If it doesn't pertain to that, it shouldn't be on LinkedIn. That goes for stupid posts about your personal life too.

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Sep 14, 2018

To some extent, its like listing hobbies. It is always an interesting time filler in an interview to ask about other past work experiences and what they learned. You never know if the guy sitting across the table was also a pizza delivery guy too...

Sep 18, 2018
iBankedUp:

You should definitely be proud of your first job, I get that. I think the problem I have with the retail jobs is, I have to ask, is it relevant to your professional ambitions? If it is, then of course include it. If not, should it be there? LinkedIn is about connecting with people professionally for your career. If it doesn't pertain to that, it shouldn't be on LinkedIn. That goes for stupid posts about your personal life too.

Kind of depends, right? If you're coming out of college and interviewing for a job, that might be some of your only work experience.

Plus, if I'm sitting across the table interviewing someone, it's nice to know they're willing to do a "shitty" job without complaint and put in the effort. Being a junior person anywhere means doing a ton of shit work, and if you've spent your high school nights getting awful tips from terrible people ordering take-out pizza, you are probably not the person most likely to complain about a late night at the office, or some menial task you've been assigned.

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Sep 14, 2018

I live in a continental European country and nothing bothers me more than when kids who spent a year on exchange in the UK or something put native/bilingual English proficiency on their profile.

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Sep 14, 2018

To an analyst, "incoming analyst" is probably cringeworthy, to some, it is cringeworthy to even have Linkedin.

Sep 18, 2018
WChurchill:

To an analyst, "incoming analyst" is probably cringeworthy, to some, it is cringeworthy to even have Linkedin.

Why? Reggie has a LinkedIn. If it's good enough for "Mr. ETF" it's good enough for me.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/reginald-m-browne-08617b https://www.forbes.com/sites/ariweinberg/2012/10/0...
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-02-27...

Sep 14, 2018

I've posted this before but buyside recruiting conversations in banking have started two months on the job. Moreover, full time recruiting ends for some firms before internships conclude. In that context, you can not blame kids putting incoming whatever when it clearly benefits them by indicating relevancy to recruiters early on in the process.

Going back to buyside recruiting, I would not be surprised if the trend kept creeping up to the point where recruiting for some firms started before people begin their analyst stints. Moreover, it's also the norm now to put "incoming" in all sorts of industries, not just finance.

This is a curmudgeon argument at this point.

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Sep 15, 2018

My first Job on my LinkedIn is my summer job in high school where I worked night shift assembling parts in a factory.

Is it meaningful for my current job? No.

Does it make any difference for someone viewing my profile? No.

But I am way more proud about the fact that I started as an actual machine replacement, assembling shitty door handles every night at the age of 16, then of my oxbridge type of undergrad.

TLDR: Go fuck yourself

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Sep 15, 2018

Seen a guy today with a position at GS entitled 'Spring [Week] Applicant' - this is even better than incoming SA.

[for non-UK people}

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Oct 11, 2018

LOOOOL that is the best thing i've heard in a while, complete lack of self-awareness.

Sep 15, 2018

"Aspiring to be CEO of Wall St"

Anything along those lines

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Sep 15, 2018

Many of these profiles are parodies.

Sep 17, 2018

james bond

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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Sep 17, 2018

When someone has "enthusiast" in their title... like "AI enthusiast" or "Fintech enthusiast". I guess it's a way for people looking to get into those areas to catch people's attention... but I think a more genuine thing would be to showcase interaction with local ecosystem via meet ups, volunteering, mentorship, etc.

Maybe it's just me, but I also don't like linkedin descriptions of yourself written in third person, especially with over exuberant adjectives.

Sep 18, 2018

"[Data Science / AI / Machine Learning / Tech Buzzword] enthusiast" translates to "I don't really have any formal degree in the field, but I would enjoy to work with it. After people heard stories about others getting paid $150k / year to make nice graphs in R / Python / etc., everyone and their sister wants to become a [buzzword] scientists, hopefully after a 3-month boot camp

Never mind the fact that the professionals usually have a Masters or Ph.D in their fields.

Bonus points if they also have "data evangelist", "machine learning ninja", etc.

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Sep 18, 2018

Last night, I had a mentoring session with one of my client's kids. His family is involved in real estate development. The kid (age 23) just finished school and want to be a real estate developer without any prior experience. I spent an entire two hours walking him through all the steps that he needs to take to become a real estate developer. In the end, the conversation ended with, "Man, that was such a pain in the ass. All that work for so little money. I am the creative kind and not interested in dabbling into menial details. I want to make 10x over my initial investment without taking any risks or doing any real job. Can you help me find a project like that?" I think this sort of conversation is actually very normal. Most of my mentees who are in their early 20s are all like that. Perhaps it has to do with the age that they grow up in 1) instant gratification, 2) super connected via social media, and 3) the anxiety to become successful without actually doing any real work. I can understand where they are coming from, but every day, they never cease to amaze or surprise me.

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Sep 20, 2018

I don't think talking to a kid like that will help at all. The only thing that may help as a big dose of reality.

Sep 23, 2018

Sounds like he's facing some real adversity in his life. Good for you on helping him jump such horrific hurdles.

Lmao.

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Sep 18, 2018

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Sep 18, 2018

Hahaha +1 - THIS is actually the cringiest type of profile on Linkedin.

Sep 18, 2018

, MBA after name in LinkedIn profile

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Sep 18, 2018

Its less common but its funnier when they have "BA", "BBA", or "BS" after their name. Like getting your Bachelor Degree warrants a suffix.

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Sep 20, 2018
joey joe joe shabadoo:

, MBA after name in LinkedIn profile

"Brock Rutherford II, BEc MEc PhD MBA CFA CQF FRM ERP SERIES 3 / 4 / 6 / ... / 99"

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Sep 23, 2018

You missed another big one, CPA

Sep 18, 2018

The whole site is cringy now with the Facebook-like feed. Every once in a while I make the mistake of reading comments to an article or post, and I think, wow, you work for a respectable company, and you're using your real name to write that?!

Sep 23, 2018
Scott Irish:

The whole site is cringy now with the Facebook-like feed. Every once in a while I make the mistake of reading comments to an article or post, and I think, wow, you work for a respectable company, and you're using your real name to write that?!

I've thought the exact same thing....you know other people can see your comments, right people???

Sep 18, 2018

are we really talking about a social network on a social network?

how much time do you guys spend working on your profiles? jeez

Sep 19, 2018

"Recruitment Veteran|Staffing Problem Solver|Finder of Elusive Candidates|Resume Writer|Career Advisor|Trainer" = aka a 3rd party recruiter

"Fixed Income Derivatives at __" = MO/BO Operations guy that is still trying to become a trader

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Sep 19, 2018

I once saw an HSD suffix after a name. I asked what "HSD" meant and was told it stood for high school diploma. If that's not hitting rock bottom, then I don't know what is...

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Sep 20, 2018

Just saw on Arbitrage Andy's IG:

Goldman Sachs
Spring Applicant

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Sep 21, 2018

Best thing I saw was from an undergrad at a top tier London uni who had the position of "Sandwich Artist" at Subway.

Sep 21, 2018

Yeah, that's what OP is getting at. These angle-playing kids are just putting it to SEEM clever and modest, but it comes across as fake, to me.

Sep 23, 2018

Actually "Sandwich Artist" is really the name of the title. If you check out their job postings they are hiring "sandwich artists" aka PT staff

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Sep 21, 2018

I used to think negatively about the "incoming" title people had on LinkedIn until I saw TWO occasions where buy-side recruiters used that to poach kids who ended up reneging their bank. Unusual, yes but the reality is that personal branding becomes more important as competition intensifies.

To quote a great line: "The illusion has become real, and the more real it becomes, the more desperate they want it."

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Sep 21, 2018

That's a bold move by the kids. What kind of fat offer did the kids get to burn the bridge with their incoming banks?

Sep 21, 2018
ferraripal:

That's a bold move by the kids. What kind of fat offer did the kids get to burn the bridge with their incoming banks?

What kind of fat offer? The chance to go straight from school to buy-side. It's a lot nicer when the other guy picks up those $600 15 martini tabs.

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Sep 21, 2018

I agree the crummy teen job is cringeworthy because it's likely not authentic, they're only listing it to project some sort of faux humbleness. Asian Tiger Parents have been making their Tiger Cub kids get crummy part-time jobs for the last 10 years because they know it's a 'hook' with elite college admissions. And obviously it at times plays well in IB recruiting, MBA and law school admissions.

Sep 21, 2018

Best I've seen: "Deal Closer at JP Morgan".........in Newark, DE

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Sep 23, 2018

hahahahah that one's good

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Sep 21, 2018

Putting a lot of (the right kind of) detail on your LinkedIn profile actually significantly increases your chances of finding and getting the job you want, and connecting with the kind of people you want to connect to.

Those familiar with e-commerce and online businesses/marketing will know the concept of SEO and how this helps you get better online traffic. Basically having the right key words etc in your website helps search sites find you and direct people to you.

Same thing with LinkedIn, you'll get good job suggestions, and relevant recruiters (who will search for key terms) getting in touch with you with job vacancies.

My current CorpDev role, it was never advertised. A recruiter sent an InMail to me on LinkedIn, and the rest as they say is history (actually there was a nice story - for another time).

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Oct 13, 2018

Can confirm this, I'm pretty happy with where I'm at, but get hit up every other month for pretty darn good roles through linkedin. It's also one of if not the first thing that pops up when my name is google searched.

Sep 21, 2018

One of my jobs as a grad assistant is to check on past graduates and see what they're up to now. I've seen plenty of awful profiles, but one guy's was pretty inspiring. Graduated from college with a worthless degree and played ball in the minor leagues for several years. Left and worked as a dock unloader at Walmart while doing a masters in accounting. Today he's gotten several promotions at one of the big 4.

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Sep 22, 2018

Anyone that lists like 27 credentials after their name.

I saw a vet, who definitely got preyed upon by for profit colleges, that listed MA, BA, MBA, PHd after his name, all from Devry and the likes.

Oct 11, 2018

Sadly that is way too common in the veteran community. I don't know how the administrators at AMU (American Military University) sleep at night.

"We listen, if it feels good we shake."
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Sep 23, 2018

My parents are immigrants who started a poultry farm from nothing. I grew up on and ran this farm before I moved into the city (did this for 15+ years). Is it on my Linkedin - hell yes.

The only cringe worthy ones I see are those losers who say "pro equality", "proud feminist", "innovator" (when they've never invented shit. Heck, I've invented automated water dispensaries for my chickens but i didn't call myself an innovator.

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Sep 23, 2018

I worked optical from 18-21 which paid for my college (sales, optician, lab tech - 3 different opticals). It was a good experience and it's on my LinkedIn profile. Then it's my 3 internships, my first job, and now my businesses and one I work with. Don't have all my high school jobs. I'm not trying to impress anyone with my shit though so think whatever you want.

My response, though, to the general tone of your post is "fuck you". Waking up every morning at 4:30am as a 16-year-old to be kneading bread by 6 to sell everything bagels to office fucks on their way to work builds character. Carrying golf clubs around all day in the sun as a 15-year-old does too. Making coffee, making ice cream, selling books, selling knives, washing dishes, serving dishes - I did all that shit and I'm glad I did. And if you can't see the value in that, then like I said, fuck you.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Sep 23, 2018

I agree. I worked part time in the grocery store last year while in university and every time some schmuck talked down to me I used it as motivation. I'm glad I've done it, it truly does build character....I haven't listed that job on my LinkedIn bio nor will I probably ever but I have brought up the learning experiences in interview.

Best of luck!

Sep 23, 2018

Pizza hut delivery or Mcdonald receptionist, are experiences that I see are a lot more useful than a regular office job that does nothing aside from photocopying and buying coffee. In fact, a receptionist who can handle the level of intensity at peak hours is someone who I can have confidence in working as a sales team in capital markets.

At least this is what I would say if the HR gave me a bunch of list of resume to look over.

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Sep 23, 2018
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Oct 11, 2018
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Sep 24, 2018
Sep 25, 2018

Not too high, not too low

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Oct 11, 2018