A friendly reminder:
You are idiots. You are all idiots. You are not qualified for any serious financial position. You may watch CNBC. You may have played with a Bloomberg in your school's "financial lab". You may even have run money at a student fund. This is all totally irrelevant. This will not prepare you in any real way for an actual position. If we do hire you, you will be a drag on resources for at least a year, and more if you turn out to be as stupid as you look. Unfortunately, we have to hire you because you're cheap.
I do not mean this as a criticism. As it says, it's just a reminder. Everything I wrote absolutely applied to me at one time. The key for you is to realize this now, and own it so you don't come off looking more naive than necessary. Step one is to get professional resume help. Good lord help me I do not care about your coursework experience or your supposed "software skills". Your job in the financial aid office does not warrant 5 lines.
If you are granted the opportunity to annoy us, again please be cognizant of your idiocy. Soak up as much of this business as you can. Learn how the business actually works. Shut up in meetings until you know what you're talking about - and don't you dare try to interject just to sound intelligent.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. All of us were idiots, and we worked out of it, and most of you will as well. In the meantime, I need another coffee and none of that foofy latte crap this time, just hot and black. That is all, dismissed.
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