Freshman Hardo Here - how do I use COVID19 to fuck my competition into oblivion?
Alright banker bois and girls,
High achieving target school Chad here with a 4.0, great ECs, hot Tinder matches, even hotter Linkedin connections and a great virtual M&A internship at a bank which is fully secure. Looking around, I see so many people who got their shitty little corporate finance internship cancelled and they're whining about it like a baby and begging for people to toss them a bone. I'm going to emerge out of this crisis stronger, richer, and with a huge edge on the weak Freshman losers who won't have any experience. My question is this - how do I fuck my competition into oblivion and juice my resume? Should I just focus on interview prep? Should I try to get another virtual internship and stack it on top? Should I start a "charity" to deliver groceries to old people so I can talk about it in interviews and put it on my resume? How do I take advantage of my luck and good fortune and build an insurmountable lead in experience and prestige in the race to land a sweet PE gig that will pay me a fuck ton of money?
you were trying to be funny but the execution is poor.
boo. boo wendy testaburger boo
I am trying to be funny but I'm also 100% serious. I want to fuck my weak competition and take the edge I have now and bury them. I run sub 1:15 half marathons and I love the feeling of just getting such a lead on people that they never have a chance to recover and I see their loser asses at the finish line, huffing and puffing and out of breath despite being absolute shit. I'm a fucking winner and I want to crush all of the stupid muppet fuckers around me into oblivion. How do I translate this into finance?
I'd try to line up something for the fall/winter. That way, you'll have a solid 2 things on your resume, and then when you get a gig for sophomore summer, you can have 2 things +1 "incoming" or whatever, which should set you up 2022 recruiting.
oooooo that's a good idea, especially since everythings virtual now
Give them Covid-19
weak immunocompromised students finna be BTFOd
i should spread COVID19 in Cambridge so Harvard gets fucked
There is definitely some very specific insecurity that you are suppressing. I’m not going to speculate on what it is exactly but I think maybe some virtual therapy will be a helpful use of your time, unless you want to try to figure all that out when you’re 40 and spent the prime of your life attempting to band-aid over it unsuccessfully.
Agreed. If he wants a leg up on his competition, therapy is the highest ROI long term.
not going to take advice from anyone with fat in their username
lol
I'd tone down a bit on whatever you're sniffing mate...
MDMA adderall and prozac nootropic stack of the gods :P
damn man you'll be working your VP in no time
lol I'd work on behavioural interview prep.
If you come off like that, you bet your ass firms are a running the other way
Nah people love me, especially female interviewers. They might be a little physically intimidated by my appearance though, I'm super fucking hot ngl
are there a lot of Asian MILFs in IB by any chance?
bro create a linked posting job and get all your weak competition to apply to it and you can see all their resumes. Pick them apart one by one and decimate them
and then I can email back every one of them telling them to suck my cock
Get on the roids so you can literally beat up your competition
good idea!
I will bet all of my money that you have never had sex. Change my mind
I will bet all of my money that you're a ferret faced fuck face
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