Hangover Remedies

the_gekko's picture
the_gekko - Certified Professional
Rank: Neanderthal | banana points 2,096

Fellow Monkey's -

'Tis the season to get head splitting, knuckle dragging, stomach ripping, memory erasing, toilet hugging, diarrhea spraying, shit faced drunk (not that we need to wait for the holidays for that)!

When I was younger I used to dread the holidays because pretty much all the men in my family drink heavily and the whole thing turns into one massive drinking contest and the hangovers were just absolutely immobilizing. As I got older I had to get get creative to avoid the painful aftereffects of a drink-a-thon so I came up with the following three rules:

1) Before any heavy drinking session (like lets say New Years eve or St. Patrick's day) I make myself a smoothie with the following ingredients: 8oz full fat greek yogurt, 2 raw eggs, 2 table spoons of honey, 1 cup chopped bananas, 1 cup blueberries and 1 serving of protein powder. The first few times i did this it was gross but I got used to it - now it even tastes good to me. all those ingredients have been proven to help you with alcohol as they slow the absolution rate and you piss a lot of it away and also helps break down alcohol better. A nice steak or burger before the drinking starts also works great for me.

2) I drink one type of alcohol all night. If I start with say bourbon I stick with that all night, no exceptions. Zero hangover effect the next day no matter how drunk I was the night before. Same thing with tequila, scotch, wine, beer etc. Pick one at the beginning and don't change it.

3) Absolutely no mixed drinks. For one I can afford top shelf without filler and also the sugar mixed with alcohol will fucking crush your brain. I try avoid at all costs.

Again these are the things that I do to avoid the punishment of a crazy night out (if I am having only a few drinks then I don't have to worry; I do this stuff when I know I am going to get so drunk I will invent my own language). I NEED to do all three things above if I am to avoid major pain and suffering the next day. If I deviate there will some hangover effects.

What are some of your favorite hangover remedies, whether to prevent or fix after the fact (and no, don't be a dick and stay DON'T DRINK - if you say that I will find you and break every bone in your crotch)?

Happy New Year Monkeys.

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Comments (49)

Dec 29, 2016

Pedialyte. Chugging 1 bottle before you pass out works best. If you aren't capable of remembering to do so, then chug it when you wake up.

Dec 29, 2016

Thats a great idea and I am sure it will come in handy in a couple of days! :)

Dec 30, 2016

I had a girlfriend who swore by this stuff and kept a mini fridge stocked full of it for whenever we drank, which was all the time, but I could never stomach the stuff. I found it pretty nasty, I also don't really get that bad of hangovers.

Dec 29, 2016

Gotta go with the flavored bottles. The unflavored bottle tastes like shit.

Dec 29, 2016

Mine immobilize me man so I will try it even if I have to hold my nose!!!

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Dec 29, 2016

Knew a guy who had an IV kit and used it pretty frequently. It gets pretty expensive but the guy never had a hangover for over an hour.

"We train like we do so that on our worst day we can still destroy them on their best day."

Dec 29, 2016

Wow that's pretty damn hardcore. He must hate them as much as I do.

Jan 3, 2017

Using an IV is always a solid route, however, they can be difficult to acquire.
The best option is banging until it is at least 9:14 am the next day and just rolling with the thunder for your upcoming adventures.
Otherwise, I like stopping to get an omelette followed by some ibuprofen prior to bed. It always worked well.
Should a willing partner and/or breakfast joint be unavailable, try doing a quick work out and some semi-complicated task that requires full attention - such as archery. This helps to sweat out the booze and keep you distracted from the the peak of the hangover. Personally, I enjoy cross country skiing followed by shooting. The cold feels good and the low impact exercise is fantastic. Also, nothing says seize the day like a morning after winter biathlon. During the summer months some a few Turkish gets ups and a hundred or so swings work as a fine replacement.

    • 1
Dec 30, 2016

I do the whole drink a glass of water after every drink - not so that I don't drink as much, but because I somehow am dehydrated the next day no matter how much water I chug. Thinks this helps mitigate my hangovers, but there is only so much you can do.

Dec 31, 2016

Hmmm....I can't be having 10-15 glasses of water a night. This seems impractical.

Best Response
Jan 3, 2017

right? you break the seal and end up pissing every 15 minutes. That many trips to the restroom makes you look like a coke head

Dec 30, 2016

Denzel Washington in "Flight" seemed to do well off of cocaine. Fear The Bulge, any truth to this little known hangover remedy?

    • 2
Dec 29, 2016
Big4please:

Denzel Washington in "Flight" seemed to do well off of cocaine. Fear The Bulge, any truth to this little known hangover remedy?

LMAO - SB! Way to swing for the fences pal.

@Fear The Bulge care to comment on @Big4please's theory? :)

Dec 31, 2016

This works. But the trick is to not stop doing it.

    • 4
Dec 30, 2016
Fear The Bulge:

This works. But the trick is to not stop doing it.

Thanks FTB. This is great life advice for young university students to set them up for success.

    • 1
Jan 3, 2017

Sugar boogers are the number one hangover cure. Case closed.

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Dec 30, 2016

I just get whiskey water now instead of mixed drinks. The bartender/everyone looks at me like I have a room temperature IQ but it's less calories, no sugar, and the water keeps me hydrated.

    • 1
Jan 3, 2017

How's it taste? Totally agree on all the benefits -- My go-to's when no one is judging me is a vodka + diet coke, but replacing the coke (a cola) with water would definitely help with hydration

"I did it for me...I liked it...I was good at it. And I was really... I was alive."

Dec 30, 2016

Really just tastes like diluted whiskey (duh), but with ice I don't think it's bad at all. Personally soda is too sweet for me anyways, so I prefer water to coke. I don't like other kinds of hard liquor so not sure how mixing water with them would taste, but if you ever find a bar with honey Jack and get that with water it's actually good.

Jan 3, 2017

gin and tonic / scotch and soda are my go-to drinks, partially for this reason. Also you can get them anywhere and they are hard to fuck up

Jan 4, 2017

da Gronk :"My drink is usually vodka with water because it gets you hydrated and drunk at the same time,"

Dec 31, 2016

Don't get drunk. And this is coming from someone who gets drunk too much. You have shitty rem sleep, you're dehydrated and you're full of toxins. Hydrating can help, but all the other shit just masks your body naturally healing.

Dec 29, 2016
TNA:

Don't get drunk. And this is coming from someone who gets drunk too much. You have shitty rem sleep, you're dehydrated and you're full of toxins. Hydrating can help, but all the other shit just masks your body naturally healing.

yeah man but that's the easy way out. I am a sucker for punishment especially if the evening before the hangover was worth living.

Dec 30, 2016

I could use some of this right now. Getting belligerently drunk a few days removed from the stomach flu was not a good idea. But it was fun.

    • 1
Dec 29, 2016

sounds like you could use the Pedialyte and the IV at the same time

Dec 30, 2016

We had some of my wife's family over for a late Christmas function (surprisingly enough they didn't want to celebrate when I was highly contagious with the stomach flu) and I fell asleep sitting up on the couch for an hour or so while they were present. Starting off 2017 the right way. #MAGA

Jan 3, 2017

If you manage to stick with just one alcohol all night I don't believe that was a proper rager.
I start with good intentions as well and go with vodka - but all hell breaks lose at the after parties.

I do sports when I manage to get out of bed, I drink Barocca in the UK and Emergen-C in the US the next day. I try to remember switching to water at some point in the night, rarely happens. I would go submarine at work when I used to work, and spend a good hour in the bathroom snoozing. Otherwise I sleep all day next day and feel sorry for myself.

On a multiple day bender I only eat one meal per day to make sure not to put on weight and drink a fuck load of water all the time. I pop as many vitamins as possible and down gallons of gatorade. I also do vodka gatorades in the evening before heading out - I also stick with vodka for as long as possible.

I hate beer so that's not a problem and rarely drink it, but when I was younger I'd get the worst hang overs with beer.

    • 2
Dec 29, 2016

Thanks man - appreciate the feedback. A lot of this is driven by individual chemistry it seems. For me, if i don't stick to same drink or drink alcohol mixed with anything at all I am pretty much guaranteed a miserable time the following day. The other trick is to just never, ever, stop drinking! :)

Jan 3, 2017

Y'all need to learn how to drink and accept the consequences.

You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.

Dec 29, 2016

i do what I can to prevent them but when they come I take the punishment. One of my buddies always says he will never drink again when he is hungover. fuck that - I will continue to imbibe come hell or high water; it may hurt but it sure as fuck is worth it.

Jan 3, 2017

It's amazing what drinking straight liquor versus mixed will do. It took a bit of getting used to, especially with vodka, but the day I cut out the red bulls, the cranberry, the orange juice, etc. etc. and drank it on the rocks with a lemon twist or similar, it all goes great for me.

    • 1
Dec 29, 2016
EnergyHOU:

It's amazing what drinking straight liquor versus mixed will do. It took a bit of getting used to, especially with vodka, but the day I cut out the red bulls, the cranberry, the orange juice, etc. etc. and drank it on the rocks with a lemon twist or similar, it all goes great for me.

THIS!!!!!

Jan 3, 2017

The Sunrise Surprise (tm)?

Red Bull x1
Berocca x2
Paracetamol x2
Ibuprofen x2
Valium x3

Put this in your nutri-bullet along with a banana and you'll be good to go.

    • 1
Dec 29, 2016

On the list it goes - although if I take 3 valium i might not wake up until the next day! :)

Jan 3, 2017

Best taken on a Friday morning. Friday can conceivable be sat out in the toilet or in a meeting room by yourself

Jan 4, 2017

Mine is simple and easy to make at home:
salted Curd + chopped onions + lemon juice just before passing out (assuming you have stuck with one kind of drink the while night)

Dec 29, 2016

god that sounds awful - gonna try it next time.

Jan 4, 2017

Night of drinking - big meal followed with a multivitamin, potassiuam, and one of those emergen-C mixes. Drinking, one water after each drink. After drinking: a greasy meal, more emergen-C.

If for any reason this doesn't work and you still are hungover, there's the greatest hangover remedy on earth: weed.

    • 1
Dec 29, 2016

Is there anything that weed doesn't cure? :)

Jan 4, 2017

Morning After: Wake up, take an Advil, chug a water bottle, eat breakfast, go back to bed and sleep it off.

    • 1
Dec 29, 2016

More like 10 Advil but that only ever helps me with the headaches and the rest of me feels like it went through a wood chipper.

Jan 4, 2017

If you do #1, you can never get drunk because you ate three meals before you got your drank on.

Best hangover cure is more booze and a double cheeseburger (deliciousness and booze soaker) with onion rings (just to mask the booze smell).

I would say you can't be hungover and drunk at the same time, but we all know I was a dirty whore liar if I was to say that. Although it is fair to say when you are in that drunk & hungover state, there is a little bit of a seesaw effect between drunkenness and hungover-ness. Drink more and feel a bit better now. Who cares about later? Not me at the time.

    • 2
Dec 29, 2016

sliders and wings are my curse man. to this day, with college firmly in the rear-view, I am very content at a bdubs putting back gallons of beer and enjoying finger food (followed by 6 hours at the gym). for NYE i was at a place where they had these great bison cheese and bacon sliders. I wolfed a few of those down and stuck to drinking Black Maple Hill bourbon all night (ok so maybe I took a few shots of Gran Patron as the evening went on; who are you, my priest?) and as sloshed as I was, I woke up the next day feeling like I just stepped out of a bath.

    • 1
Jan 4, 2017

If I'm drunk and if I've had drunk Jack in the Box already, just sleep it off and drink coconut water in the morning or a lot of water.

In the morning, a smoothie with banana, almond milk, protein powder, frozen fruit, and chia seeds usually helps. I'll also smoke weed which definitely helps everything. Also coffee.

    • 1
Jan 5, 2017

Hands down, just 1 Berocca before going out will do the trick.
And... one more + coffee the morning after if the evening got heavier than expected.

    • 1
Jan 7, 2017

What about an "old style" hair of the dog?

Dec 31, 2018