Fellow Monkey's -
'Tis the season to get head splitting, knuckle dragging, stomach ripping, memory erasing, toilet hugging, diarrhea spraying, shit faced drunk (not that we need to wait for the holidays for that)!
When I was younger I used to dread the holidays because pretty much all the men in my family drink heavily and the whole thing turns into one massive drinking contest and the hangovers were just absolutely immobilizing. As I got older I had to get get creative to avoid the painful aftereffects of a drink-a-thon so I came up with the following three rules:
1) Before any heavy drinking session (like lets say New Years eve or St. Patrick's day) I make myself a smoothie with the following ingredients: 8oz full fat greek yogurt, 2 raw eggs, 2 table spoons of honey, 1 cup chopped bananas, 1 cup blueberries and 1 serving of protein powder. The first few times i did this it was gross but I got used to it - now it even tastes good to me. all those ingredients have been proven to help you with alcohol as they slow the absolution rate and you piss a lot of it away and also helps break down alcohol better. A nice steak or burger before the drinking starts also works great for me.
2) I drink one type of alcohol all night. If I start with say bourbon I stick with that all night, no exceptions. Zero hangover effect the next day no matter how drunk I was the night before. Same thing with tequila, scotch, wine, beer etc. Pick one at the beginning and don't change it.
3) Absolutely no mixed drinks. For one I can afford top shelf without filler and also the sugar mixed with alcohol will fucking crush your brain. I try avoid at all costs.
Again these are the things that I do to avoid the punishment of a crazy night out (if I am having only a few drinks then I don't have to worry; I do this stuff when I know I am going to get so drunk I will invent my own language). I NEED to do all three things above if I am to avoid major pain and suffering the next day. If I deviate there will some hangover effects.
What are some of your favorite hangover remedies, whether to prevent or fix after the fact (and no, don't be a dick and stay DON'T DRINK - if you say that I will find you and break every bone in your crotch)?
Happy New Year Monkeys.