How I plan to be an exceptional Summer Analyst next year
I've been a reader of WSO since nearly 1 year now and never would I have thought that I will belong to this kids securing a SA spot. I've always been a very "special" person, who is not really into mainstream things. I would like to take the seriousness out of the internship next year by simply being me what means:
- I will not do face time at all, when I am done, I will go and don't even think a minute about what the others think about me
- I will try to find myself a personal mentor who takes care of me and holds my back when I need it
- Since I am strictly against any kind of drugs, I won't live the "models & bottles" lifestyle but try to encourage the other interns/analysts/associate to maybe do something fun together like laser tag (just an example)
- I will absolutely never fail to have a smile on my face everytime (I won't let the work get to my personal happiness)
I know this post is kind of strange but this is my personal new years resolution and I hope that I can inspire some of my fellow interns.
Sounds like you're a blast
Dude great idea suggest "laser tag" on a Friday after a week of 9-1am to your fellow interns and see how they respond.
Personally, I think it's a GREAT IDEA. Playing LASER TAG while shooting up BLACK TAR HEROIN has to be one of life's greatest pleasures. Right up there with drinking MOUNTAIN DEW out of a 2 LITER BOTTLE while watching HENTAI in your TRAILER PARK!
If you actually are a reader of WSO for a year now, you had to have known that by making a post like this, you were going to get eviscerated. Assuming you're not a troll, I'll try to take a whack at this...
Exceptional Summer Analyst = Someone who can write a coherent fucking sentence. Jesus, I don't even know what you're trying to say. Are you thanking WSO for helping you land a SA offer, or expressing disbelief you got one yourself? Or are you saying you personally belong to someone who got a SA offer? Moving on...Gramma lesson #2, if you use quotation marks ("") when not quoting someone else, you're indicating that you're using the term in a non standard or colloquial manner. Yes, you just called yourself retarded. Honestly, after reading the rest of the post, this is probably the most accurate and honest thing you said. And you want to take the seriousness out of the internship? Maybe ask some 1st or 2nd year analysts how well that'll work out for you getting a return offer by not taking the internship seriously. By the way, it's "Which means" not "What means."
NEWSFLASH: if you work like you don't care what others think about you, you will not go far in any career ever. Do you think on the last day the whole office sits in a meeting room and looks at bar charts of the exact volume of work every intern did to decide who gets a return offer? Or do you think they go off their gut feeling of who did the best job, who they enjoyed working with the most, and who will ultimately be the best person to be a future coworker? People don't just put in face time because they enjoy leaving the office at 2 am. Next. If you need someone to take care of you, try to find a Gf/Bf, friends, or call your parents. If you need someone to hold your back, maybe find a good chiropractor or masseuse. Neither of which is the job of your mentor. Ah yes, I am sure you will find tons of 22-26 year olds, working 70+ hours a week, making 6 figures, that want to play laser tag in their few fleeting moments of free time. Are you for real? I swear, this is every MD's worst nightmare. Going into the office everyday to see some creepy-ass 20 year old college kid in the office that won't stop smiling? The good news is, if you actually follow through with most of these points, it doesn't look like there will be much time for work to get to your personal happiness... I hope that this post is a joke and you only made it as some half assed attempt to trick some other no-social skills WSO reader into doing this as well to lessen your competition. If not, I truly feel sorry for a IB office this summer.uh
Hey, I appreciate your honest answer but bankers (or whatever you currently are) like you are the problem why this industry does not change. You have this very standardized thinking scheme and you consider people weird who don't. The banking industry needs to start to think outside the box as generic as this phrase sounds and encourage and allow young aspiring bankers to completely be how they are. This would not in the slightest do any harm to the work quality.
Kind regards
Oh my dear dude. My ach so detached from reality dude. Who suggests laser tag to the very analysts who just got worked to the bone due to having one headcount less, you!
Change careers my dude
Sadly, I don't think this is a troll. This is exactly why execs can't stand millennials.
Go be a consulrant, heard it's all rainbows and lollipops there
Not to burst your bubble, but impressions matter in a work environment. what you are pushing is fairly irresponsible advice not just for banking but any sort of professional job (even working at Walmart).
Suppose you had a job at Walmart and you did the work well enough but acted like you didn't care or want to put in any more effort than needed. Guess what, when they come to promote or fire, that plays a role. This is far more true at an investment bank.
And nothing wrong with models and bottles. Just because someone else doesn't like laser tag doesn't make them a worse human being than you. I have plenty of banker / buyside friends who do not drink and plenty that partake in alcohol among other things on a regular basis. The job is the job and your personal time is your personal time.
SB'd you, but TBF, I'd kinda enjoy a game of laser tag in an empty day of August. Went karting with my team during my summer, was lots of fun.
I disagree. Usually a top notch mentor is also a highly skilled physical therapist and has a decent familiarity with acupuncture
This has to be a joke right
@bNNNN" I'm not gonna touch some of the more bizarre things you've said - but as a non-frat boy banker myself - and someone who has sucessfully been a SA this past summer I want to offer some advice. You need to get over your "no face time" thing. You're the lowest man / woman on the totem pole and if you can't suck it up and sit in the office waiting to see if work roles in at 10 PM then you are in the wrong business as an intern. Get over yourself and realize that you are sacrificing for long term gain. Try to find a group that advertises itself as a not a face time group.
Basically do the opposite of this post and you'll get the FT offer
I would love to see this kid ask a 30-year-old, stressed tf out associate out for a game of laser tag.
Also, please leave your ego at the door whenever you walk into the office; for your own sake. I promise you that if you don't, the analysts and associates will verbally eviscerate you.
Getting an SA spot is only half the battle, the other half is getting people to ACTUALLY like you.
my super scientific probability analysis of OP:
75% likelihood ESL 25% microsoft sam 69% virgin 4% probably cool in person 37% troll 90% will read this post in 10y and cringe 100% tryhard 0% chance I read again
lighten up francis. if you were trolling, 2/10. if you're serious, chill tf out
SB for the Stripes reference.
75% ESL
69% Virgin
Correlation or Causation?
You gotta be kidding me.
1/10 troll 8.7/10 Simple Jack
Since I got a lot of reaction out of you, I would ask you all personally what kind of persons you strive to be. I really like the competitive atmosphere of banking and the high stakes it involves, but there is a lack of humanity in banking which is again showed here. You make fun of people who are not like you, so you supress their individualism and destroying what makes them exciting. All these kids from the top schools of the nations could actually do something for the progress of humanity but instead they work under you bunch of narrow thinking chimps. I pity you, I really do and hope you all will learn someday to be happy
Listen man, we honestly weren't giving you bad advice, it may have sounded mean but you gotta grow some thicker skin. Now that it appears you aren't actually a troll (you seem have quite a long history of making seemingly genuine posts) lets have a candid conversation in, a tone maybe youll be more willing to accept, which should hopefully actually help make you a "exceptional summer analyst."
A hard fact of life is, any time you join a new group (I mean this in a broad sense, such as someone moving to a new country or even joining a new club at school), you don't have to abandon your individuality completely, but you have to make some effort to conform to the overarching values and norms of that group, or face being rejected from it entirely. By no means do you need to start living the "models & bottles" lifestyle or become a frat boy or varsity sport athlete, but you can't try to change the entire direction of an established group. If you approach someone else lifestyle with a "holier than tho" ("strict against drugs and drinking"), they're never going to accept you into the group. Try to find a compromise. If someone this summer invites you to go out at night with them, go! you don't have to personally drink (just order a beer and sip it or club soda & lime and make some fake excuse). If you really want to go for it, after building some rapport on another occasion, maybe suggest a non-drinking/drug group activity too!, just maybe suggest something more universally accepted and less "nerdy" than laser tag such as a movie or dinner or some crap (go-karting from a suggestion above!). And i wasn't joking before, if you call yourself "very 'special'" people genuinely are going to think you're saying that you have special needs... which if that is true, don't go advertising it in a professional environment.
Also, seriously drop the whole "not taking it too seriously" or "not putting in facetime" garbage. You're interning in an extremely competitive industry that has no shortage of qualified candidates who didn't get a SA offers who would be more than happy to take your FT slot... act like it.
You hate banking almost as much as a banker
i was going to say that you're a down syndrome sounding fuck until i realized you surely must be trolling
You mentioned you are German in a previous post. I would just caution you strongly that the differences between the German and US working environment in finance may be much narrower than you might expect. You will be expected to be punctual, facetime, drink, and be serious. Doesn't mean there is no fun in banking, but there are social norms and it would benefit you to watch, listen, and learn very carefully during your internship, and adapt accordingly.
I'm really curious to see the post-Summer update.
"Hey guys, I feel like I did really well in my internship, but didn't receive a return offer, what do I do?"
laughed quite hard. laser tag? fucking blacklisted
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/when-i-wear-completely-white-shi…
hahahahahaha, this guy has to be a troll
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