I hate being lonely so much
I am out of outlets - never had any to begin with, so please bear with me
There is no one in my life. I can get high grades or good job offers, and just go to bed depressed like every other day because no one is there to tell. I don't even try anymore. Not having a single friend at 24 is a huge red flag that something is irreparably wrong
I've never had friends, growing up with bullying, health issues and mild autism, to being bizarrely anxious about making friends in college and thus getting alienated - up until the present where the people in my life are my colleagues, those to whom I'm a disposable worker. I don't know what it's like to just connect with another human, outside of vapid networking and corporate attitude. I can barely muster up words to speak, so I don't blame people for not wanting me any close to them. I know this will probably sink in a sea of monkey shits, but honestly I need to get this out of my chest
It just hurts. I can't wait until I'm working full-time to stop thinking about myself. I hate loneliness, it's eating me alive...