Male insight needed: Personalities of female bankers

As a woman, I found myself often discussing this struggle with other women in banking. It's hard to find the rightly balanced attitude to have around men in the office. If we're feminine/shy, we're considered dumb. If we are sharp/confident, we're considered arrogant (or even narcissistic).

From working with women, which personalities did you enjoy working with the most? Which personalities did you find attractive?

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Comments (31)

Most Helpful
  • Associate 2 in IB-M&A
Oct 9, 2021 - 8:24pm

Same as it would be for guys. If a man is too shy he is also considered weak and if he is overly-confident he is also considered arrogant. Clearly then women are held to roughly the same professional and behavioral standards as men.

Be polite, respectfully speak your mind when you have something to say, do your work properly, and don't act like you have anything to prove.  I really don't think most people care about your gender and think a lot of people tend to jump to conclusions about how they will be perceived due to arbitrary factors like gender and race when most of it is in their head 

Oct 11, 2021 - 2:13pm

Really no one gives a shit about gender. Women just have to over analyze every little social interaction while men are generally obtuse. The entire world shouting that women can do no wrong and are perpetual victims doesnt help either. 

Just be yourself. It is comically obvious if you are trying to act strong like a try hard

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  • Associate 1 in IB-M&A
Oct 9, 2021 - 8:47pm

Be yourself. There's a variety of different personalities in finance, and chances are you'll fit right in no matter what your personality is. 

That being said, the vast majority of women in my group are sharp, confident, quick-witted, and definitely not shy, and us guys definitely don't find them narcissistic at all. It's always great to work with co-workers who are willing to share their view and aren't afraid to speak, and those co-workers being women doesn't change a thing. We also have quite a high percentage of women MDs in our great relative to the rest of Wall Street (BB C&R group), and I find that having a lot of women MDs definitely helps the junior women feel a lot more comfortable being more out-spoken. In this day and age, unless you're in a group where the MDs are all just an "old-boys club" with a worldview from the 70s, I don't think you should feel uncomfortable or judged for being more out-spoken.

Oct 9, 2021 - 9:06pm

AnonymousAFAs a woman, I found myself often discussing this struggle with other women in banking. It's hard to find the rightly balanced attitude to have around men in the office. If we're feminine/shy, we're considered dumb. If we are sharp/confident, we're considered arrogant (or even narcissistic).From working with women, which personalities did you enjoy working with the most? Which personalities did you find attractive?I am always attracted to feminine women, I do not want to deal with a woman who is trying so hard to be a guy.

SafariJoe, wins again!
Funniest
Oct 9, 2021 - 9:36pm

LMAO, no fucking way OP is a female.

  • 6
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Oct 11, 2021 - 10:42am

I was gonna say that nothing in their post was that bad i mean they're just asking an innocent question until I saw that they were the one who posted the WSO becoming Bumble post. Now I believe that OP has to be a middle schooler dude.

Oct 11, 2021 - 1:41pm

I've found in my experience that if a man has a problem with me or my personality, he's going to have a problem with it no matter how "attractive" I make myself to him or how quiet or smart I come across as. Being my bubbly, open-minded, helpful self has always brought the best results--be yourself and the people who like you will find you.

I'm there to help my portfolio team, not be quiet and attractive to men in the office. We're not living in an episode of Mad Men.

Oct 11, 2021 - 5:33pm

I think everyone in finance is a try hard no matter what. Male or female, lesbian or not, smart or stupid, they're all try hards. Hope this helps ease your anxiety.

Go, Go, Excel

Oct 12, 2021 - 3:21pm

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