Networking with Father?

swagon's picture
Rank: Neanderthal | 3,066

Please tell me what someone should do in this networking circumstance.

Let's say you're doing your homework on an MD banker to find a connection and you come across an article about him. You manage to connect the dots and realize he's your uncle, brother of your father. Should you go ahead and email him? Or would a cold call with a solid pitch work better? Or, should you call/email your father and subtly ask him if he knows your uncle well?(maybe don't want to be too pushy...could he think you're just using him to get to his banker brother?)

Also, would this depend on how well you've networked with your father? Like, if you've called him several times over a few months and he's always been willing to give you banking advice, then is it ok to ask if he can send your resume to your uncle, or at least see if he has time to discuss the industry?

Or, if your uncle is coming in a few days to visit your family for the weekend, should you try to set up a meeting with him at your home? Or is a home too casual for an informational interview? If a home is an appropriate venue, then should you offer to have your Mom cook for him so he doesn't have to pay for the meal? And what if he has a broad range of food allergies (which you found out using google b/c you really did your homework) but you don't know which foods he's allergic to. Should you just have a big buffet prepared and let him choose?

I'm from a semi-target with a 3.53 gpa, finance major, if that helps. Thanks!

Comments (25)

Jul 31, 2009

Wait.. is this for real? Allergies and networking with your father?

Jul 31, 2009

LOL

Jul 31, 2009

Hahahahahaha

Jul 31, 2009

I'd say if you haven't networked with your father on a regular basis, then you shouldn't be asking him to do you favors. However, if he beat you as a child, then he probably owes you one but don't expect more than him forwarding your resume. I would try to get in contact with your sister first and see if she can critique your resume before you send it to your father. My 2 cents.

Apr 25, 2013

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Jul 31, 2009

That's the best post in recent history. Thanks for the morning laughs.

Jul 31, 2009

Ok, this is a fairly common problem; one I have experienced in the past, with success, so I can help. 1) Do not network with your father. Networking with immediate family is inappropriate, and you'll get grounded (didn't happen to me, I swear!). 2) It is okay to network with extended family, like an uncle; however, do not call them directly, as they do not want to talk to you. So, call his secretary, and set up a meeting in your study for the next time he's over. Have prepared 3 versions of your resume, and yeah, have a big buffet set up so that he has options.

Also, you're going to want to be having physical relations with his secretary, and set it up so he walks in on you both. You can set this up when you call her to schedule the meeting. This is important, because investment bankers will only hire kids that get laid a lot, and walking into this will give him that perception. This will also help you, because he won't bother asking you technicals in the interview after he's seen that. So now you don't even have to study.

Be sure to send a formal thank you e-mail afterwards to both your uncle and his secretary.

P.S., if you can't get the secretary to come over beforehand, don't even bother networking with your uncle. Just take it as a learning experience, and contact another firm.

Jul 31, 2009

Thanks, h.e. I'll be careful networking with my father, but will try to set up a meeting with my uncle via his secretary.

I'll see what I can do about physical relations with his secretary. When my uncle walks in, should I have some strategically placed blow under my nose and some lines on her desk to show my uncle I've got the intensity required to be successful in banking? Should I openly offer some coke to my uncle, or not aknowledge it so it looks like I'm not bragging about my coke use? I don't want to seem like I'm being too aggressive by offering him coke; I've heard that banging a secretary is ok - it's not only professional conduct, but can make up for having no finance internships, as it shows you know how to act in the office - but offering coke can offend some MDs if liquor is not provided along with it.

Jul 31, 2009

you FAIL at life. Kill yourself now.

Aug 2, 2009
OOOemmmGeee:

you FAIL at life. Kill yourself now.

Thanks, OOOemmmGeee. I see from your previous posts that you go to/went to a community college.

Needless to say, I really value your insightful advice; I'll go kill my self this very moment since I have failed at life.

Aug 3, 2009

... just tell you dad you need a job.

Aug 3, 2009
nokia:

... just tell you dad you need a job.

Congratulations on your fine humor gauge. It shall take you far in life.

Aug 3, 2009

Haha I don't think I have ever heard someone relate a relationship with their father as a networking one...Anyways I'm wasting to much time on WSO, I need to go get up with my Grandmother, pretty sure she has some deep connections...

Aug 3, 2009

You don't network with your dad insomuch as you piggy back off of his network. that's how i played it back in the day

Aug 4, 2009

try setting up a meeting with your father, seriously. if you send the mail, make sure though it's friday afternoon cause fathers generally get pissed off by receiving mails from their kids on the weekend.

Aug 4, 2009

If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable asking your dad about career advice, you have bigger problems than we can deal with on this forum.

Aug 4, 2009
JulianRobertson:

If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable asking your dad about career advice, you have bigger problems than we can deal with on this forum.

At this point, it's approximately 150% obvious he is joking. If you still haven't caught up at this time, I worry for you.

Aug 5, 2009
JulianRobertson:

If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable asking your dad about career advice, you have bigger problems than we can deal with on this forum.

JulianRobertson, could you please suggest ways in which I could become more comfortable asking my Father for career advice? I'm new to this whole networking thing, and since my Father is so powerful I am extremely intimitaded by the thought of cold-calling him or my uncle.

Just think about it: everyone wants a job right now - why would they, my father and uncle, want to help me out over all the other kids begging them for a job?

Aug 5, 2009

/post

Aug 13, 2009

Incidentally, my father told me this joke while we were "networking" (drinking) at our summer house last weekend. Enjoy.

A kid gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. On the way there he walks by his parents room and hears all sorts of noises coming from the room. Confused, he opens the door. Inside his dad is going to town on mom, absolutely crushing it. The kid is stunned, and just stands there like a deer in headlights. Dad sees him, but doesn't stop, he keeps plowing away, grins and gives a big thumbs-up to the kid. The kid goes back to his room and cries himself to sleep.

The next night the father hears a commotion coming from the attic. Wondering if there is a wild animal trapped up there, he walks up the stairs to find his son screwing the shit out of Grandma. The kid sees him, grins and gives him a big thumbs up. Then he says to his dad, "its not so funny when its YOUR mom is it?!"

Thank you.

Aug 13, 2009
storch:

Incidentally, my father told me this joke while we were "networking" (drinking) at our summer house last weekend. Enjoy.

I'm so glad you pointed out that you were in your summer house, otherwise the story would completely have not made any sense.

Jesus, what a fuckin douche. I hope you start all your sentences like that.

Aug 17, 2009

"while i was cruising in my bmw"

"as I spoke my classmates at my top business school"

"taking a break from plowing my hot girlfriend"

"while reading leather bound books"

"before lighting my cigar with a burning hundred dollar bill"

"immediately following my stomping of Chuck Norris in a sparring session"

and my personal favorite:

"after climbing off of marcus_halberstram's mom"

Ok just kidding, but seriously, what the fuck are you talking about buddy, its where I heard the joke, who gives a shit? Are you offended because you are poor or something? Who gives a fuck about my house? It wasn't even the start of a sentence? Why do people feel the need to talk shit on anonymous forums?

Aug 13, 2009

OK, so what you are saying is that tactful humor, including jokes about extreme incest, is ok during networking conversations? If so, I will make sure to have an extensive list of vulgar jokes ready to deploy at any relevant point in the conversation. If I use the above joke, should I make the father in the story an MD at a MM firm to add relevant context? And the son could be an economics major at a semi-target with a low gpa but good internships? Just a thought. Thanks!

Aug 13, 2009
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Aug 14, 2009
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