Prospective monkeys: how to never break into wall street

I'm not a seasoned monkey yet, but I do know some things that can get you black balled.

I'm not talking about getting to drunk at a superday or being a huge slob/jackass at an informal meeting.

We are talking viral email that hits all the interwebs and makes you look like tool/incompetent fool.

This season of SA recruiting has produced this little tidbit:

From: [redacted]
Sent: Monday, February 14, 2011 11:55 <abbr title="asset management">AM</abbr>
To: [<span class='keyword_link'><a href="/company/citigroup">redacted at Citi</a></span>]
Subject: Re: Citi Sales, Trading & Quantitative Analysis Summer Analyst Program

Hi [redacted]:

Thank you so much for replying my email!!

Ah, what a pity that I missed one of the most prestigious bank in the world, and what a pity citi-group missed a mathematics genius like me, the smartest student ever in the engineering department, the one who beaten math majors in the most difficult competition in the world like idiots, and the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!! [Redacted]'s stupidity can surely not appreciate my conspicuously superior intellectuality. Woe to the fatuous decision, yet I humbly accpet!

Best luck with citi-bank, and I sincerely hope the <span class='keyword_link'><a href="/finance-dictionary/trading-overview">trading</a></span> can still flourish with those incompetent workers, with those preposterous foreclosures and ludicrous CDOs, with those avaricious vampires drying the blood of tens of thousands of poor languishing in loans and poverty! Woe!

May God's wrath descends, and the world becomes round again, rather than flat! May Wall Street realize its originally obscure identity as a mere defending street against the English colonizers! Beware Ozymandias, beware! If I come to power one day, surely I will follow unfalteringly the foot steps of Andrew Jackson, exterminating these unsatisfying and heinous vermins first and foremost, breaching the seemingly unbreakable pillbox of the shameless bankers, advocating the glory of justice, and spreading the merrying news of equality and happiness!

So help me, God!

http://www.businessinsider.com/citi-summer-analyst... http://dealbreaker.com/2011/02/citi-summer-analyst...

I'm a pretty easy going guy and coming from a non target I get told no a bunch, but I really can not fathom the indignation some feel. Failing sucks I understand but to do something along the lines of writing a passionate email just seems illogical. But then again this email leads me to believe the kid has a couple of loose screws.

Comments (3)

Feb 15, 2011

This is already on here in two other places..... but good job, your the first person to read it.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

Feb 15, 2011
blackfinancier:

This is already on here in two other places..... but good job, your the first person to read it.

saw it in traders train after I posted.

Feb 15, 2011
Comment