Surviving as an introvert
How do my introvert friends survive in the workplace? Especially, the ones in law, consulting, IB/PE.
I am an introvert. But I am not anti-social, have a good communication skills, however need re-charging my being alone. Any tips are welcomed.
P.s. I don't know why but I am now dealing with a new kind of problem. When someones calls me, I just feel that I am losing my time and look anxious a little bit. This precious time syndrome+being introvert combo seems not pleasent.
Stop relying on being an “introvert” and using it as a crutch. There’s no such thing as introvert or extrovert. It’s pseudoscience created by Jung and it’s been overtaken by idiots on Twitter, psychology wannabes, and MBTI obsessed people. Everyone needs time to recharge from people. Even the people that seem the most outgoing get drained by going out all the time. Just be polite and friendly.
As an aside this is something I noted from my time in banking. Sell side is filled with generally more outgoing people because your job is to sell. You have to approach and try to pitch your services. In order to be successful in that you need to adopt these personality traits: very outgoing, very personable, very optimistic, and very positive/high strung. If you approach a pitch with negative energy that’s you literally shooting yourself on the foot.
buy side has these personality traits: much more pessimistic/negative/critical (you can’t expect every dog shit deal an MD is trying to pitch you is something that is worth you investing hundreds of thousands of dollars into, you have to be critical), much more quiet to yourself - buy side is more due diligence and focusing on cutting out the bells and whistles.
As for feeling like every little call is a waste of time: stop being a hardo and just learn to fucking chill. You’re an analyst not an MD. You’re job is to assist the MDs for the time being, not go out and pitch (try to sell your firms services). Long term advice: if you want to stay in any revenue generating role… well learn to be a salesperson. That’s your job.
Thanks for the sound advice. +1 SB
I agree with your descriptions of sell-side and buy-side traits. But the idea that this is all just learned behavior, and that peoples' personalities are totally malleable, is way off. Yes, people can learn to behave in certain ways and can change...up to a point. But personality traits, including introversion/extroversion, are real, even though their definitions can be fuzzy since there is still a ton to be learned about the brain. The fuzziness of the definition doesn't make the entire concept invalid.
My biggest grief with those definitions is that people think it's one sided and binary. i.e. I'm pretty introverted so I MUST BE introverted all the time, and you see those same people making excuses for their poor behavior going "Oh it's because I'm an introvert." No you're just a dumb cunt and you're using pseudoscience to justify your stupid behavior. Same with people who are generally more extroverted (read out going) and are ridiculously loud in quiet settings or places where being loud is rude (I've been guilty of this and try to work on it all the time, I can't just blame in on me being more out going, no I can learn to control my voice and behavior). I just find a lot of psychology to be false and take 99% of with a barrel of salt because their experiments can rarely be replicated with consistent results. Is it interesting? Yes. Is it valid though? Absolutely not, for reasons mentioned above.
You're a dumbass.
Interesting, can you please elaborate
Introversion and Extroversion as a dichotomy is not supported, but as a spectrum there is a lot of evidence. Personality traits are studied today along scales. The old methods (Myers briggs) where people are either one category or another are not well supported by evidence. The idea is that all people exist somewhere along this introversion-extroversion scale. Most people though are somewhere in the middle and have some introverted traits and some extroverted traits under different conditions. Few exist on the extreme ends of the scale.
Things that help me through meetings/calls, though mine is a mix of ADHD + anxiety on top of being an introvert.
Thanks
Introvert's Creed:
+1 SB for that
I used to do this, but found out it can be such a waste of both parties' tie typing essays out. It also leaves for back and forth. Start making calls when you feel the situation warrants it.
100% avoidance is not the problem. Be "introverted" or w/e you want, but also be able to do what you need to.
I'm quite introverted. That feeling of anxiety or a knot in your stomach because of being directly asked a question or needing to present something has faded since high-school for me. I now focus on my strengths when needing to do that sort of thing - I communicate very clearly, succinctly, and direct.
My main tip - turn social situations into 1on1 conversations. In larger social settings (say drinks or lunch with a big team) I have never felt comfortable. But what I do is I break the situation down into 1on1 chats. We're at a table? Start a conversation with one person sitting next to you. At drinks/general social function? Find someone currently not engaged in a group conversation and strike up a 1on1. I always feel more comfortable and like I can be a better listener and get more out of a conversation that way.
As others have said, don't use 'introversion' as a cop-out. Realise you can build the skills that you want to build, and become comfortable in your own skin. Always be polite too.
Thanks for the advice.
I wish I could answer with anything but questions ... but you really did not put much effort in describing your situation. I could google ten articles on those generic questions quite easily.
What do you mean by "surviving in workspace"? And what do you think being introvert actually means?
Do introverts have different challenges than extroverts in surviving?
How does the way you re-charge (alone) affect your ability to "survive"?
What do you mean by "precious time" and how does it link to being introvert?
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