Talking About Sensitive Personal Issues in Interviews (Sexual Abuse)
Is it ever okay to talk about personal issues in interviews if they are relevant to the question and a big part of who you are?
One of my greatest strengths is resilience. This is because I've gone through a lot in the last ten years and the last few in particular.
When I was 9 I was sexually abused. I told nobody for ten years and I let it eat away at me. I went through the PTSD, nightmares, depression, self harm and attempted suicide all alone. After graduating high school I finally came forward and started therapy and taking medication.
I have since realized that this experience is a big part of who I am. Not only am I still alive, but I managed to keep my act together and perform in high school and so far into college (sophomore). This experience has made me realize that I can take on anything life throws at me because of the hardship I've had to deal with.
If an interviewer asks me something like "What is an example of adversity/obstacles/hardship you've gone through?" is it okay to answer with this story?
no, this is not appropriate, and will most likely get you dinged for not understanding that.
when asked about overcoming obstacles, interviewers are looking for things relating to professional activities (how to deal with a group member not pulling their weight, how to deal with a rude customer, how to make a decision with imperfect information, how to manage multiple competing priorities). This interview question is not just to learn how you overcome adversity, but also shows how you are able to determine what is appropriate to discuss in a professional setting, and what is not.
a job interview is not a therapy session....and if you treat it like one, you will get dinged for that.
For a job interview, probably not the best topic to bring up as they are probably seeking more professional examples of certain skills/character traits.
Extreme personal stories like that are a bit of a heavy topic to discuss. Then again, I don't see any harm in projecting it in a positive way for much softer questions like "what motivates you" if you keep it broad enough (don't go into details).
While I understand that this resilience defines your character, I would not mention it in an interview. Being completely realistic here, it could make your interviewers uncomfortable and get you dinged just because they don't wanna deal with that. Also, they could see this as a candidate trying to guilt them into hiring. While keeping stuff like this hidden sucks, it would not benefit you in a job hunt. Better to play it safe. I'm really sorry that you had to go through that btw, nobody should ever have to.
No.
There are things that we overcome in our lives that give the interviewer a good idea of how we are going to be able to overcome obstacles in the position. This doesn't sound like one of them.
Unless you're applying for a therapist role for abused children, talking about this subject is likely to put the interview on an odd note and any things you have to say about your major or career goals will probably be overshadowed by this comment. The interviewer basically has to give you high regards for getting through it, but might ding you for it (maybe for not fitting in, or saying comments out of place - not sure). Its great that you overcame these obstacles in the cards of life that were dealt to you, but you're going to want to focus a bit more on some obstacles that are a bit more transferable to the role.
The biggest struggles and motivators for myself in my personal life are things that I would never share in an interview setting. My suggestion as a professional is that you follow suit and find professional examples to cite.
As others have said, for better or worse, this isn't a topic you want to introduce into a professional setting. You wouldn't share these intimate details to anyone else you barely know. Your interviewers are no different. If you bring this up to relative strangers in an interview, would you also bring this up to a client?
You say that what you want to convey is your resilience. Don't share the trauma that made you resilient; share examples of how you've used that resilience to tackle challenges in other aspects of your life.
Well said -
As others have stated here, a job interview is not the time or place for this level of candor. While close friends and family or others in your life can, in the appropriate and relevant context, appreciate your sharing of such difficulties and how you persevered in spite of them... in an interview setting, there is really no way that the broaching of such an intimately personal and difficult topic will benefit you in the recruiting process.
More than likely, it will make the interviewer uncomfortable. Add to that, it makes the interviewer question your ability to keep things impersonal and professional, especially when you're at the nascent stage of introducing yourself and your skills to a potential employer. Plus you don't want them to potentially pity you or view you in any other way than a viable, skilled, willing-to-learn candidate for the job at hand.
If you start the doubtful/do-I-ding-them-or-not process that each interviewer has, you're basically ruining your chances before you start.
I admire and appreciate that you are willing to ask a really tough question about how appropriate this particularly difficult and painful experience is to discuss in a job interview setting. I hope you can come up with a way where you can indeed illustrate your personal perseverance, resilience and fortitude.
Kudos to you for sharing your story and your question here, even anonymously, it can't be an easy thing to address and share.
Just to add to a very good reply - you also have to bear in mind that you will (hopefully) end up working with whoever is interviewing you.
In general, I tell my family and personal stuff to a few selected ones. If you spill the beans during the interview stage, everyone in the office will label you after your interview, regardless of whether you get the job or not.
While I respect you for sharing and wanting to share your story further, I doubt this is the right time. As others have said, try and look for situations where this experience has helped you become who you are. Taking ownership of being a sexual abuse victim and pursuing a career in finance (i'm assuming), shows character.
The simple answer: Absolutely fucking not.
The longer answer: Absolutely fucking not. However, you should not have had to go through that and I'm glad you came out on the other side stronger. That's an awful thing to have happened and I hope justice is served.
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