Who Would You Marry?

seville's picture
Rank: King Kong | 1,343

What type of women are you attracted to? Is it true to you that there is a fine line between dating-material women and marriage-material women?

Some say that they do not prefer highly intelligent women as their wives because they are likely to have very strong opinions, which may result in arguments back and forth. And this wouldn't be a comfortable life to live. Do you agree or disagree?

Does occupation matter in a woman? Or would just having a compatible personality suffice? What if there is a woman you like, has a great personality, physically attractive, but has the type of job where a degree isn't required (e.g. office assistant). Would that be a deal breaker for you?

Just want to hear perspectives from Finance folks.

Comments (57)

Best Response
Aug 3, 2016

Ok to answer each question:

I think if a girl is dating material she is also marriage material. There are girls that are "fun" and there are girls you can see yourself settling down with. For me it's not worth seriously dating a girl if there's not a chance I'd ever marry her.

I disagree re: highly intelligent women. I've dated women that are objectively very smart, and they are just as understanding and compromising as the less intelligent ones. In fact, I would argue the less intelligent ones are less likely to listen to reason and more like to take a hard line on their opinions.

I would say occupation matters but it's not a deal breaker. Again I was dating a girl that was in consulting working 60+ hours/week. Ultimately it didn't work out because we just couldn't find enough time between the two of us to spend together. So I think it does matter but if you really like someone you'll find time for them. I would rather she work as a waitress or office assistant because then at least one person doesn't have their career as their first priority and it may have actually worked out.

At the end of the day you are looking for a best friend that you are also physically attracted to. So looks and personality matter in equal parts. Those should be your only two parameters to at least give a relationship a shot - everything else you can work around.

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Aug 3, 2016
TopChedder:

At the end of the day you are looking for a best friend that you are also physically attracted to. So looks and personality matter in equal parts. Those should be your only two parameters to at least give a relationship a shot - everything else you can work around.

SB +1

(Well, in theory. SB's seem to not be working for me at the moment, 200+ wso credits be damned)

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Aug 3, 2016
TopChedder:

<

p>re: highly intelligent women. I've dated women that are objectively very smart, and they are just as understanding and compromising as the less intelligent ones. In fact, I would argue the less intelligent ones are less likely to listen to reason and more like to take a hard line on their opinions.

I couldn't agree more. I think this is a qualifying factor for lasting friendships as well, but that's besides the point: there are few things that cause me more dismay than sitting across the table from a girlfriend who takes a hardline, illogical, emotional position on an issue and refuses to or is incapable of acknowledging/understanding the logical validity in an opposing argument. And I get that emotions often aren't and don't necessarily need to be rational, and I admit that I'm certainly not always right, but when you can't even connect on a logical plane of thought... that's scary, that's when I know it's time to walk

Aug 8, 2016

Just had a friend break up with his girlfriend because he was sick of her calling him a Fascist for being a Republican. He dumped her after one especially long diatribe when she compared Trump to Hitler and said that my friend was not taking responsibility for humanity by continuing to identify as a Republican.

We'd been saying this bitch was crazy for years, can't believe it took him this long to figure it out.

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Aug 3, 2016

^Solid response. SBed.

Aug 3, 2016

I'm attracted to attractive women. I think some guys get way to caught up in specific "types." I've dated blondes, brunettes, and red heads, hourglass figures and fitness chicks, tall girls, short girls, sexy girls, cute girls, black girls, white girls, Asians, latinas, etc. Outside of fat chicks I'm pretty open.

I agree with @TopChedder that dating material women and marriage material women are the same thing. Peopled don't "date around" these days. The difference between hookup girls and dating/marriage girls is real though.

Highly intelligent women are certainly preferred, as being a moron isn't attractive, but intelligence doesn't necessarily mean argumentative. Occupation doesn't matter but having an occupation does. I have no interest in gold diggers and think success is sexy.

Have you dated women before? Serious question. Or are you one looking for insight?

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Aug 3, 2016

Agreed with all your points. And yes I've dated women. Just wanted to hear your perspectives because it may vary.

SBed.

Aug 6, 2016

Lmao so no go on the people who qualify as a cruiserweight and up?

Aug 8, 2016
billbelichick69:

Lmao so no go on the people who qualify as a cruiserweight and up?

Not a chance

Aug 3, 2016

OP, don't go looking for someone that fits a profile. look for someone you have a connection with. if you asked me to describe my "type" 10 years ago, it probably wasn't describing her. but when you meet someone, you'll know if you click. I think all that's been mentioned before, shared values, physical attractiveness, intellect, etc., all valid points. I would say values are #1 though.

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Aug 5, 2016

Generally speaking, I agree with TopChedder. At the end of the day, if you're able to always look forward to meeting that person, then she is worth it. Occupation should not always make or break a choice for someone, but I think looking for someone who can make you a better person then who you are now, is a keeper too.

Aug 5, 2016

When I was single, I'll say that this was how I thought of things: A girl would need to meet a certain level of attractiveness for me to want to go up to her, but beyond that, personality was all that mattered. I'd say that looks are important but that being smart, driven, and having a good personality is more important in the long run.

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Aug 5, 2016

+1: I second that.

Aug 5, 2016

Holy cow, exactly how I feel. Once you pass a threshold, then it's all about personality/character. Doesn't matter if you barely pass the threshold or soar past it

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Aug 5, 2016

I don't really look for someone to be marriage "material". I like to think my standards and my connection with people is a bit deeper than judging someone by if they fit a profile.

That being said, a person needs to be a team player. If a girl expects me to pay for everything, lives like a slob, and avoids working, it's a turnoff and I won't deal with people like that. If she doesn't like working but keeps the house/apartment spotless, cooks every day, and runs our errands I'm fine with that. If she hates cleaning/cooking but works to keep up an income, I'm fine with that too.

When you're married it's you two against the world, both people need to be contributing for the betterment of the team. Otherwise you end up like my father and spend 10 years trying to get ahead only for a divorce to force you to watch her walk away with half of it.

Aug 5, 2016

We will eventually all be old, fat, and ugly. Looks matter when you are young, but it's most important to find someone that makes you laugh and you enjoy spending time with.

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Aug 5, 2016

I would marry Paige Spiranac

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Aug 5, 2016

Googled and agree. +SB

Aug 5, 2016

I can't believe you people don't have hard quantitative marriage rules. For me its Ivy undergrad with a GPA of 3.0+, 5'0'' to 5'5'', crisp blonde hair, slim with 5.9-13.2% body fat, BB analyst experience (would settle for MBB if all other criteria was met), wealthy parents (net worth of $500m+), C+ girl outside of the classroom {if you get what I mean (get it? (.)(.)}, and named Sarah or Ashley.

I wouldn't call myself picky but I dont know how any of you call yourself successful without building out a model to check out the potential marriage potential of said girl.

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Aug 5, 2016

I laughed - would SB if I had one.

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Nov 27, 2016

There you go buddy. Gave you my only one!

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Aug 5, 2016
bl00211:

slim with 5.9-13.2% body fat

Maximum of 13.2%?

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

^ Refers to you, and apparently also to the appearance of the women you're looking for

Aug 5, 2016

You do realize thats tiny for a woman right?

Aug 5, 2016

A Latina with a bachelor's degree that enjoys cooking, exercise and her job.

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Aug 6, 2016
saw23:

A Latina with a bachelor's degree that enjoys cooking, exercise and her job.

Shot from the hip.

Nov 27, 2016

Yes, of course I would. You can marry into more in five minuets than you can make in a life time. Quit making topics about questions with obvious answers.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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Nov 27, 2016

Is her father a wealthy merchant? Perhaps she wants status - in that case, you can gain her wealth/dowry upon marriage, and she can get status (I would do this purely because you get multiple ships that sail to the Americas and also gain a quick route into New World gold/spices).

speed boost blaze

Nov 27, 2016

Would I be interested in marrying an actress or model? Sure.

But say I'm worth $15 million or so, and she's worth maybe $17.3 million--- no fucking chance. Like I'm gonna let her dangle that over my head for the rest of my life. I'd rather die sad and alone.

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Nov 27, 2016

It sounds like you are very unconfident in your AM skills.

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"

Nov 27, 2016
Alexander Hamilton:

What if she was a actress or a model, and you had a higher net worth?

It depends on the jurisdiction, but in NYC it would be financially positive for you. Your pre-marital assets would not be part of the divorce estate. Her during-marriage earnings would.

Nov 27, 2016

How exactly does that work? I thought that men always had to pay up in a divorce.

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"

Nov 27, 2016

Hell yes. I'm actually targeting the billionaire founder of Spanx.

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Nov 27, 2016

Sugar mama ftw.

Nov 27, 2016

HELL YES

Nov 27, 2016

Has any guy here successfully gold-dug before? Would be interesting to hear stories.

Nov 27, 2016

golddigoasis.com is available... now's your chance to make it.

Nov 27, 2016
bic:

Dude, your threads suck.

Next Beny23? Over under on this ?

speed boost blaze

Nov 27, 2016

We demand better threads.

Aug 5, 2016

Here's my $.02 that no one has commented on yet:

If you are serious about dating and later having a family, make sure you have the same family goals. I can't warn you enough about women who are great girlfriends, but terrible mothers (and vice versa for fathers). Obviously you can't get very good insight as to their mothering skills until they've had kids, but if they have the goal and understand the sacrifice it takes, that's more than enough to get through the learning curve.

Even though most of the people here are younger (20s and early 30s) and focused purely on career-minded topics, most of my success professionally doesn't even come close to what I have found with success in my family. Getting on the right career path and making sure you have a secure (hopefully, very rich!) financial future is vital, but I would argue that finding the right girl to settle down and have a family with will make you a much happier person than a couple extra $mil in the retirement account or the prestige of a nice title at a "top 5" company. I come home every day to kids who think I am a god and a wife that I love. When I leave for work every morning they hug and kiss me and they mean it. That feels damn good.

Having a family isn't for everyone, but if it is a goal, I suggest you take into account a few more criteria than the normal attractive face/nice body, fun to be around, motivated, and intelligent. Even smart, attractive girls become boring or combative if they aren't willing to make the personal sacrifices required to make a marriage and family successful.

Now if you don't want kids, make sure you find someone that doesn't either, because that will ruin your life and the life of your kids if you aren't fully committed to them or your spouse.

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Aug 5, 2016

As a straight woman it is hard for me to answer the question "what kind of woman would I date". But let me give some advice....

I think it's important to really date around and see what you like and what values and attributes you like. Breakups are hard, but there's always a lesson to be learned in whatever interaction you have with someone so that you can make a better choice in terms of a future partner.

I would also advise against getting married young, that's not to say it doesn't work out-because it does sometimes, but I have noticed in general that people don't really come into their own until their late twenties. To go further with this, perhaps even though you've come into your own...your partner hasn't yet and you might not know that until later.

Now what kind of man would I date? :) :) :) Michael Fassbender.........::swoon::

EDIT: You do need a degree for 99% of office assistant jobs. Some at BB even require a STEM degree, though it's usually from a tier 4 school.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

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Aug 5, 2016

Here's my ideal wife.

Born to middle class dad, maybe slight upper middle class (which here in Dallas is about family income of 150K) who has some slight connections in the business world, but not like a partner at Big 4 type guy.

Went to a school where she wasn't the prettiest, but definitely not ugly, and not the richest, but definitely not poor. That way she's down to earth and doesn't expect the world.

Hopefully she wants to be a Teacher or maybe a Nurse (old school) and isn't planning on any major achievements in life. Because the bitches that want to be CEO of a Hospital or some shit are always too damn independent (aka risky investments).

When I meet her, hope she's had between 3-7 partners before, at least 2 of which were long term boyfriends so I know she doesn't have commitment issues.

If she was a college athlete that's a plus, and if she drives a Kia that's a plus too.

^and that's how I determine if I'm going to ding them on the phone interview or not.

"It is better to have a friendship based on business, than a business based on friendship." - Rockefeller.

"Live fast, die hard. Leave a good looking body." - Navy SEAL

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Aug 5, 2016

100% just described my ex girlfriend. Great girl.

Aug 5, 2016

I went to a top undergraduate business school, and I'm sorry but the girls in my business classes were complete *c words. I feel bad for their future boyfriends, even if those girls might make more money than me. The arts & science girls, econ/communication/etc majors, and even the education and nursing students were much more my type, even if they may not have the highest earning potential. I also have an educated stereotype that I have of women that want to be lawyers. A lot of them are bitches and argue way too much/have strong personalities. Many of these type of girls that I have talked to don't want to have kids because it will sidetrack their career. I've also had several friends with successful parents where the mother was a lawyer and they ended up getting a divorce.
This may be a personal character weakness of mine, but I would have trouble dating and marrying a women that is more successful than me in her career and makes more money than me. Her family can be wealthier than mine, thats' fine.
I'd also look for a woman that has a good job and stable career, but that she values family more and can put her career on hold for that. That's why getting with a teacher or nurse is great, preferably a nurse, where the stress isn't too high, can have mid career earnings of $80-90k which will be nice extra income, and secure health insurance and benefits. If she could get out of work every day by 4pm that would be nice too so that she can pick up the kids, drive them to soccer, and have dinner ready for when I get home.

Must be physically fit and attractive, but the looks will only get her the interview not the job, so she should have a personality as well.

P.S. Do you think I'm being a bigot or sexist? That's fine. You're welcome to have your own opinion and are probably the type of girl that I want to stay away from.

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Aug 5, 2016

+1

Aug 5, 2016

I previously cared about a girl's career, as a career is often a good indicator about what kind of person you are sitting across the table from. Over time I have found that the girls I am simply attracted to are women that care deeply about something (that something can be a career). I dated a ballerina for bit, and while ballet was not a long term career, her passion for ballet made her an interesting person. I found that I enjoyed learning from her and being exposed to a world that I didn't know much about. All in all, I think a girl that actually cares about something makes for an interesting counterpart, VS. a girl that doesn't really have any passions, and as a result probably doesn't have any opinions, or interesting things to say!

Aug 5, 2016

I want to be with a girl who likes me for my career, my fashion, my body, my car and everything else that's superficial. If a girl likes me for me then I automatically know there's something messed up with her. One of my good friends married an unbelievably, otherworldly, unimaginably hot, sexy, smart, talented girl because he basically was a stable, good provider and mature. Over the years they've become good friends and they seem perfectly happy.

With a 50% divorce rate and studies that show that, on average, people married more than 7(?) years are less happy than their single counterparts, I'm starting to thinking the whole "marry your soulmate" thing is pretty much B.S. and a failed construct of the last 1 or 2 centuries.

Aug 8, 2016
Virginia Tech 4ever:

I want to be with a girl who likes me for my career, my fashion, my body, my car and everything else that's superficial. If a girl likes me for me then I automatically know there's something messed up with her.

You sir, are a very interesting individual. But for as long as I've read your posts, you seem to know what you believe quite well. SB'd you for that alone.

That said, this topic is very fresh for me. I am in my mid-twenties and have amassed a few principles that I believe to be true:

  1. Do not marry until age 30 if you have self-serving goals that need to be accomplished first. This sage sentiment has been echoed time and time again on WSO. Relationships require a lot of time, patience, effort and attention. Don't cheat yourself or your significant other if you've got selfish shit you need to accomplish.
  2. From my point of view, a marriage works two ways:
    a. Both individuals are very inexperienced daters yet know themselves well before dating long term
    b. Both individuals are very experienced daters and know what they are looking for before dating long term
    The group that is screwed in this equation are those who have left the safe haven of a one, true love and embarked on discovering the many flavours of relationships. They have started to acquire a taste for what they're looking for from a dating profile perspective, but it is incomplete when they make the attempt to settle down.
  3. It's you and one other person vs. the world; who is that person? Everyone has their own subjective preferences in values, qualities, personalities traits and superficialities but at the end of the day, can you kick life's ass with this chick?

One of the most influential pieces of advise I've read was by @MBAApply on the topic. Can't find it but it was the rawest reality for highly-motivated business professionals and the reality of marriage.

Aug 8, 2016

Haha. My main point is, I'm an insufferable know-it-all bastard. I can barely stand myself most of the time, so I question the type of woman who would like me for me. Luckily enough, that issue hasn't come up very often n my life. :)

Aug 5, 2016

Quick background...Met my girlfriend (now wife) in college and dated consistently for ~4 years before getting married. Obviously physical attraction is important, but there are many attractive women, and despite the best efforts of plastic surgeons, physical beauty fades. All that to say, for me, I wanted someone who not only was attractive, but shared a similar set of values and ethics. It was also very important to me that she got along with my friends and could hold a conversation with strangers. My wife also happens to be very smart (probably smarter than me), but this hasn't been a source of conflict (we have been married 4 years now). Hope my narcissistic answer helps!

Aug 5, 2016
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