wtf...insulted by a 2nd yr resident

I'm a girl, SA for about a month now.

Last night when I was at dinner with my boyfriend and his elder borther ( 1st year and 2nd year internal medicine residents), he asked about my summer job and then said 'If you work at H&M that'd be more useful to me'. He was not joking or teasing me, but simply being a big medicine douche bag. I felt insulted but I didn't confront him right on the spot because my bf was there.

He seems like he doesn't give a sh*t about ibanking and considers no career is comparbale to medicine. It's bothering me, since he'll start working at the same hospital with my bf and they'll hang out pretty much everyday...I feel worried that he'll impact my bf's view on my career because he listens to his big bro. I need to do something to deal with this big douche bag but dun know what and how...

 

give me his name number and address and i will track him down and give him a knuckle sandwich cuz no1 talks about invesment banker like dat. invesment banker are way more prestigus than doctor, do doctors work 100 hours a week and make headlines of wall street journal and rule the world? no. i bankers do dat

 

You all are getting trolled.

Blalock:
give me his name number and address and i will track him down and give him a knuckle sandwich cuz no1 talks about invesment banker like dat. invesment banker are way more prestigus than doctor, do doctors work 100 hours a week and make headlines of wall street journal and rule the world? no. i bankers do dat
Also, this. No1 talks sm4ck about inv3stm3nt bank3rs. Thug 4 lyfe.
 

Just deal with it. Some doctors have this sense of entitlement because they have been to school the longest. They "know the most." They think that saving people every day makes them better or something. Just do your job. Let them do theirs. Maybe next time ask him why he needs a discount at H&M...they are pretty cheap. You can see how your boyfriend reacts by asking him straight-up, "What did he mean by..."

 
Best Response

Who cares, in laws say the darnedest things.

You could have laughed and said, "Yes, us bankers make a lot of news for our pay, but our social value is a lot harder to calculate than medicine." Laugh at yourself, compliment his profession, but also establish the respect/power relationship, too. But you are a 21-year-old lady dealing with ~25-26 year olds. You get older and wiser, just as much as you did going from a 17-year-old high schooler to a 21-year-old college intern.

People are assholes; learn to humbly, graciously, and gracefully deflect, and failing that, learn to grit your teeth sometimes. It's part of life, and we've all been assholes ourselves. I spent three years grinding my teeth about people with pedigrees from Northeastern colleges who thought they were better than me; I spent three years thinking about ways to make THEM grind their teeth by being an asshole back at them. Now I find myself in the mildly uncomfortable situation of getting a master's degree from one of those Northeastern schools.

Do yourself a favor and try not to get too bent out of shape over this. He may become your brother in law. Or you may go into medicine for all you know. Be HAPPY that you are a banker, that you do not have to deal with $300K in student loan debt for medical school, and try to love your neighbor as yourself. We may not know it yet, but we're probably just as tough to love as our neighbor is.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
Who cares, in laws say the darnedest things.

You could have laughed and said, "Yes, us bankers make a lot of news for our pay, but our social value is a lot harder to calculate than medicine." Laugh at yourself, compliment his profession, but also establish the respect/power relationship, too. But you are a 21-year-old lady dealing with ~25-26 year olds. You get older and wiser, just as much as you did going from a 17-year-old high schooler to a 21-year-old college intern.

People are assholes; learn to humbly, graciously, and gracefully deflect, and failing that, learn to grit your teeth sometimes. It's part of life, and we've all been assholes ourselves. I spent three years grinding my teeth about people with pedigrees from Northeastern colleges who thought they were better than me; I spent three years thinking about ways to make THEM grind their teeth by being an asshole back at them. Now I find myself in the mildly uncomfortable situation of getting a master's degree from one of those Northeastern schools.

Do yourself a favor and try not to get too bent out of shape over this. He may become your brother in law. Or you may go into medicine for all you know. Be HAPPY that you are a banker, that you do not have to deal with $300K in student loan debt for medical school, and try to love your neighbor as yourself. We may not know it yet, but we're probably just as tough to love as our neighbor is.

Spot on. Everyone should read this. Good office politics.

 

Roll your eyelashes and move on. Your "usefulness to me" is not going to pay for your dinner with your bf at Per Se, or your outfit from Agent Provacateur.

Look I've been in this job for many years, and if I listened to my liberal friends I would be living with my parents doing a honest job like cleaning bathrooms. If you enjoy or appreciate the job, who gives a f*** what other people think. If your bf doesn't like what you do, then there are a lot of other people out there who won't' judge you based on your job

 

Why would you think anyone cares? Ph, someone thinks bankers are overpaid and add no value? Holy shit, I'm baffled.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

Although I second what IP says for the most part, what areas are your boyfriend and his brother studying to be doctors in? That's pretty crucial, especially if you plan to insult him over being a doctor. Remember, not all doctors are the same and for all the altruistic bullshit in the world, they know their own stratification at its finest.

 

you should have said that being useful to him wasn't high on your list of career priorities... and then giggled it away...

i know a lot of doctors from my university days... i would estimate that as many of them are in it for the money as their b-school counterparts, although they won't admit it. they sure talk about money more than b-schoolers do. this jars with the altruistic facade that their profession has. at least banking is internally consistent.

you are not your job. more importantly you need to be comfortable in your own skin. most of investment banking doesn't really add much value to society. the few parts that matter are related to capital formation and some asset/liability matching advice for client's who wouldn't have done it on their own, the rest is pretty much a zero sum game where you're helping investors speculate on asset prices while taking your vig. so what? that's just a job. find meaning elsewhere.

 
Relinquis:
you should have said that being useful to him wasn't high on your list of career priorities... and then giggled it away...

i know a lot of doctors from my university days... i would estimate that as many of them are in it for the money as their b-school counterparts, although they won't admit it. they sure talk about money more than b-schoolers do. this jars with the altruistic facade that their profession has. at least banking is internally consistent.

you are not your job. more importantly you need to be comfortable in your own skin. most of investment banking doesn't really add much value to society. the few parts that matter are related to capital formation and some asset/liability matching advice for client's who wouldn't have done it on their own, the rest is pretty much a zero sum game where you're helping investors speculate on asset prices while taking your vig. so what? that's just a job. find meaning elsewhere.

I used to feel that way until I had to rent my apartment out.

Dozens of showings. Half would cancel and another quarter would disappear.

I went from hating brokers to feeling sort of sorry for them. The only thing is that I wish landlords paid the fee and rolled it into the rent to save them from the hell of dealing with flakey prospective tenants.

Liquidity takes work and provides value. The problem is that right now the equity market is drowning in liquidity. It isn't just brokers lining up buyers and sellers anymore, but brokers holding inventory, shorting apartments, trying to figure out what positions rival brokers have and trying to make money forcing them out of it. Trying to figure out when someone is going to book a conference and also take all of the hotel rooms off the market before that happens.

Finance provides value. Without someone lining up buyers and sellers, nobody would be able to save and invest. TOO MUCH finance destroys value.

 
hiit:
"Internal medicine? That's like the public finance equivalent of banking."

Not really. Internal Medicine is a catch-all title for about ~18 different areas of practice. I wouldn't consider Cardiology, Nephrology, Neurology, Pulminology, Medical Oncology or Hematology, all of which are practices of Internal Medicine, to fall into that analogy. However, if they were, say, ER and Critical Care docs, then the analogy is apt. It really all depends on what the overarching medical field and subspecialty are.

 

unlike what others have said above, i almost think it's better to not bother argue. i've experienced a very similar situation myself:

you have a stressful enough day job as it is, there is no reason to argue (and in turn you just end up feeling frustrated and have a shitty time out ..) and waste your time. ignorant people/in completely opposite industries will never see things from your pov no matter how hard you try. it'd just get out of the situation ASAP if something similar happens again.. it helps your network in the long run to hang out with your fellow interns anyway.

i was at a not-so-close friend's birthday party almost 2 years ago. upon learning that i just started working at a large investment bank.. the guy (self-proclaimed 'musician') literally pulled the 2008-2009 liberal-media headline classics: he pretty much called me a thief, yelled/questioned me with "how do you feel about taking $$ from the economy ??!! (or something similar to stealing from the weak) ", "you are helping the rich get richer" .. etc etc.

it was a total waste of a night, and given the few times i get to go out it was a huge waste of my free time. like others mentioned above -- you are probably 20-21 and the guy (26+ and probably taller than you) is a total dick for picking on someone your size/age. it is ironic that those went in the medical field ride a high horse that they are 'helping society'.

that guy was being a worthless, insecure asshole. sorry you run a non-zero chance that he might become your inlaw.

 

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